Femmes: How do you like to be treated on a date?

[bigbutchmistie]

Ive had dates with femmes that I have pulled out all the bells and whistles, and I have had dates that was just a simple walk in the park.

For me as a butch I love taking femmes on a simple date. Just a picnic lunch in the botanical gardens, or sitting on the shores of the lake looking up at the stars. So many different things. Its during those tiimes that you really get to know one another.

Give me a femme that likes those kinds of dates

[julieisafemme]

Great thread Drew. I think I will answer as a woman or just a person and not a femme if that is ok. Eveyone is so different!

My preferences are definitely gendered though. I want to be asked out. I am old fashioned that way.

My first date with Greyson was exactly how I like it. The three things that are important to me are:

Make your intentions clear
Listen and act accordingly
None of the typical courting games

Grey and I met at a dance. We talked a lot that night and he listened carefully. The next morning I had an e-mail from him asking me out. He made it clear it was a date. I had told him how important my faith was to me and he got tickets to a Jewish music festival. He took me to sushi which he knew I loved. I don't want a fancy dinner on a first date!! I was so nervous I barely ate anything!!

He took me home and we talked and he was honest with me about his intentions and made it clear what he wanted. I really appreciated that.

He called me the next day and every day thereafter!! No games. No wondering. Just clear consistent communication.

As far as the gifts go I would not like to receive a gift from someone until we were pretty far along. Gifts are very personal. But!!! As someone else mentioned don't show up empty handed if you are invited to someone's home for dinner.

[Invictus]

Ladies, if I may...

A gentleman is a gentleman is a gentleman.

If one may assume, that the "first date" is not the first meeting, then letting the gentleman plan the date without any consideration is less than acceptable. As I may only speak for myself, a "first date" may include dinner and a show. I live in Las Vegas. I would need to take into consideration the lady's preference before planning where to dine, and shows that she may have already attended, show she would care to see, and shows she has no desire to see. Nothing will ruin an evening more than when presenting the tickets than hearing, "Yes, this is a wonderful production, I saw it last week!"

Please do not race me to the door, I will open them for you. Allow me to be the gentleman that I am.

Please conduct yourself like a lady, which should go without being said, but included due to past dating disasters.

One never gets a second chance to make a good impression on a first date.

[Mister Bent]

My favorite date includes a tour of the Lower East Side's finest graffiti and sex in the back of cab.

[Nina]

I consider myself a Lady...I use my own definition of that word, as I do many words...I am unsure I could meet, or want to meet, a definition which included the rejoinder that I "conduct yourself like a lady"...that to Me, and this is all a me-me-me commentary, feels more like being spoken to like a petulant, misbehaving little-girl...

since I Am a Lady I really don't need to be told how to conduct myself...

I will assume that my interpretation of the comment is wrong and chalk it up to my intrinsic problems understanding the sophisticated and complicated courting rituals shared between gentlemen and ladies...

I do SO love NinaLand where all things make sense to me

Originally Posted by Invictus

Ladies, if I may...

A gentleman is a gentleman is a gentleman.

Please conduct yourself like a lady, which should go without being said, but included due to past dating disasters.

One never gets a second chance to make a good impression on a first date.

[Soon]

I liked that Invi would take into consideration the woman's preferences in the planning of a date.

Invi,

I do take issues (as you can tell I am sure, so do others) with the whole, "Please conduct yourself as ladies" comment.

Perhaps you will clarify what you meant as it is a bit archaic and belittling.

[Softly]

1st date (couple years ago) ended with me taking my pants off and asking her to watch me.

she fell in love and stuck around.

I am SUCH a lady.


(I was informed that I scared the hell out of her that night, but not that much apparently)

FOR ME - there are no rules.
Just have fun and do what you want to do.
The best way to get to know someone is to be yourself.

oh - do not get me flowers. I have allergy triggered asthma and will be busting out my inhaler and THAT is not too sexy

[dixie]

I don't require extensive or expensive dates. I'm a casual kinda girl. Yes, fancy restaurants/theatre/etc are fine for special occasions, but I prefer the more simple things. Picnics in the park, hiking to a waterfall, touring a museum, strolling thru the historic district...those are much more my style. Hell, take me bowling or playing miniature golf, both of which are great for laughing and enjoying a more playful time together. Any date is perfect if I am enjoying the company, no matter the location or expense of the date. Also, don't bring me flowers. For the most part, I hate flowers. If you want to give me a gift, pick something thoughtful that reminded you of me (if you know me well enough). Truth of the matter though, I don't need nor want gifts. All I'm interested in is enjoying your company.

[princessbelle]

Oh Dixie that reminds me. One of the best dates i was ever on was a picnic with a blanket and a fire and soft music and it was in her living room. Wow how special is that. Took so much effort and forethought. I felt like a true princess.

It really takes so little to bring that wonderful feeling of being special in someone's eyes. No feeling in the world like being someone's everything, even if it is just for a couple hours.

[Invictus]

I deeply regret any remarks that may have offended anyone in any way, that certainly was not my intent.

Perhaps I should have provided some of the more noteworthy disasters...

The dinner plate is not meant to serve as storage for chewing gum, which by the way was "re-used", also, it is not an ashtray.

Flatulence has zero entertainment value, I will not pull your finger, no matter how loud you ask at dinner.

I am glad that you are proud that you can "burp the alphabet", I believe you, there is no need to prove it.

Public casual dining does not include Miller Beer pajama bottoms and a Winni the Pooh night shirt.

Again, I regret having offended anyone.

[Greco]

Invictus,

I've been considering beginning to date, and this just gave me chills, and not in a good way.

Ladies, this was not an attempt to derail this thread, just had to respond to this post.

Greco

Originally Posted by Invictus

I deeply regret any remarks that may have offended anyone in any way, that certainly was not my intent.

Perhaps I should have provided some of the more noteworthy disasters...

The dinner plate is not meant to serve as storage for chewing gum, which by the way was "re-used", also, it is not an ashtray.

Flatulence has zero entertainment value, I will not pull your finger, no matter how loud you ask at dinner.

I am glad that you are proud that you can "burp the alphabet", I believe you, there is no need to prove it.

Public casual dining does not include Miller Beer pajama bottoms and a Winni the Pooh night shirt.

Again, I regret having offended anyone.

[blush]

Invictus, I appreciate you coming in and clarifying your comment. Your examples sound like horrible behavior, whether butch or femme. It makes me twitch when a butch insists on how femmes should act, especially in a thread for femmes.

Originally Posted by Invictus

I deeply regret any remarks that may have offended anyone in any way, that certainly was not my intent.

Perhaps I should have provided some of the more noteworthy disasters...

The dinner plate is not meant to serve as storage for chewing gum, which by the way was "re-used", also, it is not an ashtray.

Flatulence has zero entertainment value, I will not pull your finger, no matter how loud you ask at dinner.

I am glad that you are proud that you can "burp the alphabet", I believe you, there is no need to prove it.

Public casual dining does not include Miller Beer pajama bottoms and a Winni the Pooh night shirt.

Again, I regret having offended anyone.

[msW8ing]

Originally Posted by Invictus

I deeply regret any remarks that may have offended anyone in any way, that certainly was not my intent.

IMHO I wasn't offended. It was the same as me asking for you to act as a gentleman. We all have our preferences and thats what makes life interesting to me. Personally I'm appauled to see how some people act and are completely mannerless(if thats a word) and tactless. Now and days one cannot just assume thier date will have manners or tact. I've had similiar nightmare dates. Just my .02 cents.

[*Anya*]

Many of us growing up had that shit drilled into our heads: girls have to wear dresses-not pants; cover your knees; sit up straight; act with decorum at all times (no laughing too loud, only lady-like giggles allowed), etc. It is a button-pusher for me, to be told to act like a lady whatever the heck that means!

Using good manners, well that is another thing. Anyone with manners doesn't belch or worse on a date with someone you are not intimately involved with already! I used to read Miss Manners regularly & know to act appropriately on a date or whatever social situation I am in.

How to be treated on a date: use human good manners (Applies to all genders); don't get drunk- more than one or two (tops) glasses of wine/beer on a date or I am going to worry you need to be in recovery. Don't whip out a joint and tell me how much you love pot (see glass of wine above) or pills, or whatever your drug if choice is.

Just common courtesy, that's all for all of us, how about that?

[BullDog]

I once dated a femme that I first met through an online classified site. We corresponded for a bit. There was a femme tea happening and I told her about it and she decided she wanted to go so I got her in touch with a femme friend. Some of us butches went out somewhere and then all of us met at First Thursday (art galleries open up for public viewing) to look at the art.

That night she asked if I wanted to date her. I was so happy! . She was a native Portlander and I was still relatively new to the city, so she often did suggest things and showed me lots of things in Portland. It was fun.

I do like to ask a femme out and to plan a date, but I certainly don't mind being the one asked either.

[hpychick]

Treat me with respect in all ways, just as I would treat the other person.