School costs and parent involvement

[luv2luvgirls]

I must comment I have been ranting about this since my kid started school...Why do I need to buy the tennis balls for the chair and table legs? dont they have funding for that type of supply ...further more the older my kid gets the more it seems that they corner you into buying the "ice cream parties for good behavior or meeting some goal,my problem with it is this...first off w/o a heads up I get my kid coming home telling me what I need to purchase for w/e thing they are doing...and its needed the next day...so then I get an email from the teacher telling me if I could help as most of the parents cant...then to find out the next day that its not just her class but the whole pod I need to bring ice cream for....if your gonna reward kids for meeting a goal ...why am I the one doing it? and if I tell my kid I am not doing it this time I do it everytime let another parent do it...she comes home after not getting the said party and now its my fault as the teacher states sorry but no one brought stuff...grrrr

next subject,projects..I dont know about you guys but the parents here get graded for involvement I have to sign this and initial that after checking her work to show i do..and from what I have been hearing, from other parents and teachers is if you are not involved to thier expectations you get a visit from dcf or w/e it may be called im not sure...but the projects,at the beginning of 3rd grade last yr she had to do a power point presentation...I was like huh!!!I wonder how they heck is my kid going to do that?amazingly she does with guidance

I think im the only butch parent there anyway lol and I want to know what is going on in the school so I go to all the meetings.. the fund raisers are much more different then when I went to school,it says dont go door to door,parents take it to work and get donations or sell the suff. doesnt that defeat the purpose of teaching kids about fund raising? school is so changed.
in a way it is looking like its going for the better only in the fact that they are holding parents responsible more now and that I think needs to be done. but what if thier perception of "parent involvement" isnt what I thought...am I going to get a visit because you think I should have paid for all the parties? its kinda worrisome

[jelli]

Originally Posted by luv2luvgirls

I must comment I have been ranting about this since my kid started school...Why do I need to buy the tennis balls for the chair and table legs? dont they have funding for that type of supply ...further more the older my kid gets the more it seems that they corner you into buying the "ice cream parties for good behavior or meeting some goal,my problem with it is this...first off w/o a heads up I get my kid coming home telling me what I need to purchase for w/e thing they are doing...and its needed the next day...so then I get an email from the teacher telling me if I could help as most of the parents cant...then to find out the next day that its not just her class but the whole pod I need to bring ice cream for....if your gonna reward kids for meeting a goal ...why am I the one doing it? and if I tell my kid I am not doing it this time I do it everytime let another parent do it...she comes home after not getting the said party and now its my fault as the teacher states sorry but no one brought stuff...grrrr

next subject,projects..I dont know about you guys but the parents here get graded for involvement I have to sign this and initial that after checking her work to show i do..and from what I have been hearing, from other parents and teachers is if you are not involved to thier expectations you get a visit from dcf or w/e it may be called im not sure...but the projects,at the beginning of 3rd grade last yr she had to do a power point presentation...I was like huh!!!I wonder how they heck is my kid going to do that?amazingly she does with guidance

I think im the only butch parent there anyway lol and I want to know what is going on in the school so I go to all the meetings.. the fund raisers are much more different then when I went to school,it says dont go door to door,parents take it to work and get donations or sell the suff. doesnt that defeat the purpose of teaching kids about fund raising? school is so changed.
in a way it is looking like its going for the better only in the fact that they are holding parents responsible more now and that I think needs to be done. but what if thier perception of "parent involvement" isnt what I thought...am I going to get a visit because you think I should have paid for all the parties? its kinda worrisome

Parents purchase the tennis balls? Please tell me you are joking???

Butch parenting can be one of the hardest things in my opinion. Especially if you live in the Bible Belt like we do. Between the responses from faculty and the response of peers towards your child(or in our case children) it can be maddening. "Here be involved, but can you do it invisibly?'

fund-raising has to be done sometimes, but the door to door stuff I refuse to let my kids sell. I'm sure it's the profit return on that over priced wrapping paper, trinkets, etc that is the appeal for the school. What happened to bake sales, car washes, cake walks, you know, the good times, old school, community involved, fund raising. And if a child has a parent that can not afford to be involved then perhaps let their involvement be in trade... like making signs for the event or volunteering time. Don't punish the kids for their parents level of involvement to me that just promotes guilt/shame or a damned if I do mentality(depending on the age level of the child).

[luv2luvgirls]

Originally Posted by jelli

Parents purchase the tennis balls? Please tell me you are joking???

Butch parenting can be one of the hardest things in my opinion. Especially if you live in the Bible Belt like we do. Between the responses from faculty and the response of peers towards your child(or in our case children) it can be maddening. "Here be involved, but can you do it invisibly?'

fund-raising has to be done sometimes, but the door to door stuff I refuse to let my kids sell. I'm sure it's the profit return on that over priced wrapping paper, trinkets, etc that is the appeal for the school. What happened to bake sales, car washes, cake walks, you know, the good times, old school, community involved, fund raising. And if a child has a parent that can not afford to be involved then perhaps let their involvement be in trade... like making signs for the event or volunteering time. Don't punish the kids for their parents level of involvement to me that just promotes guilt/shame or a damned if I do mentality(depending on the age level of the child).

im not joking in the least that is just an example for kindergarten,but you always have to supply the disinfecting wipes the paper towles the sanitizer,tissues,bandaides...all of IT!!!!! and the personal ones you need for your kids,like a lil bottle of sanitizer,travel pack tissues..the list goes on and on I swear.
It is hard to be a single butch parent,but it was the best decision I ever made wanting to be a parent, Im in freakin KY of all places :O :S for real...the hills have eyes and shit :O coming from Fla to this was a change for sure but I did it for my kid so I could slow down and let her be a kid you know? they are so lil divas in Fla such attitudes by the time they are 5 its unreal.Such violence as well...kids in preschool biting the others nose clean off!! lil boys cornering the one lil girl and her begging to be let go,trying to kiss her and when you bring it up to the facultiy...they think its cute!!! thats cute to overpower a lil girl?!! thats why there is so much violence against women now...cos its cute *rolls eyes*

oh my kid gets embarressed by me for sure...after she hit 2nd grade,now she thinks my faux hawk is too much...and she started saying stuff like why do you like to look like a boy? so I had to have a talk w/ her...must have been something said as I have always looked like this,well maybe not the blue mowhawk but always dressed acted and looked like me *shrugs shoulders* she just wants a family she said she would rather have a mom around since im not girlie so she wants me to bring one home lmao...kids smh...I have never dated or brought anyone around her ever...she does crack me up tho

[luv2luvgirls]

forgot to mention...the teachers and facuilty love me....but I dont bring a partner so I think that has a lot to do with it...all of em email me or invite me to functions all the time.the kids like me too...they giggle and stare and wave and make stuff up just to talk to me

[jelli]

I always buy the "normal" stuff, but I promise you I would go to the board before I bought tennis balls for anything other than gym class.

The only thing that might be harder to me than Butch parenting is Step-Butch parenting.

[luv2luvgirls]

Originally Posted by jelli

I always buy the "normal" stuff, but I promise you I would go to the board before I bought tennis balls for anything other than gym class.

The only thing that might be harder to me than Butch parenting is Step-Butch parenting.

whats hard for me is...she got all girlie on me now and I dont know how to paint nails or do makeup...my sister helps w/ it but I tried to buy her some make up once and man talk about feeling like i was in wonderland...none of that stuff is right for a lil kid...i was overwhelmed by the shear number of products it went on for isles and isles...I ended up finding a thing of lots of flavored lipgloss...and gave up
I had to tho as she snuck my sis's bright red lipstick from her house and brought it to school the next day for pics...I didnt know till I got the proofs :O for real!!

[jelli]

Originally Posted by luv2luvgirls

whats hard for me is...she got all girlie on me now and I dont know how to paint nails or do makeup...my sister helps w/ it but I tried to buy her some make up once and man talk about feeling like i was in wonderland...none of that stuff is right for a lil kid...i was overwhelmed by the shear number of products it went on for isles and isles...I ended up finding a thing of lots of flavored lipgloss...and gave up
I had to tho as she snuck my sis's bright red lipstick from her house and brought it to school the next day for pics...I didnt know till I got the proofs :O for real!!

HAHAHA! That's where your sister comes in handy, a female or femme friend, etc.

We have only one daughter(and 4 boys), all older now of course, but our daughter wasn't allowed to wear makeup outside of the house until later in middle school life. it's tricky trying to teach them about taking care of their skin, not falling for peer pressure(which trampy makeup is the least of those concerns), as well as when they do finally wear makeup showing them ways to enhance vs. cover up. Some parents may say let the kids use it when and how they want... that's their opinion.

BTW You can never have to much lip gloss. And when in doubt go for natural to a step up from there in color. Always can ask an employee.

[luv2luvgirls]

Originally Posted by jelli

HAHAHA! That's where your sister comes in handy, a female or femme friend, etc.

We have only one daughter(and 4 boys), all older now of course, but our daughter wasn't allowed to wear makeup outside of the house until later in middle school life. it's tricky trying to teach them about taking care of their skin, not falling for peer pressure(which trampy makeup is the least of those concerns), as well as when they do finally wear makeup showing them ways to enhance vs. cover up. Some parents may say let the kids use it when and how they want... that's their opinion.

BTW You can never have to much lip gloss. And when in doubt go for natural to a step up from there in color. Always can ask an employee.

yeah I guess I could ask an employee,but have you been to KY? lmao!! ok j/k... kinda
I went to a party couple months ago and i'll just say...they dont know how to act when the see a new gay person...I was mauled ..felt up all kinds of stuff...and my nephews thought it was so entertaining I was the floor show I guess

I think you are right about peer pressure,and I know I dont want my kid looking all over done..she is only allowed lip gloss. geez she is not quite 10 yet. But she has babygirl tendencies...she pouts,stomps ..likes to accessorize,loves sparkly things...so she wants body glitter.

[Invictus]

There are good and bad parents, just as there are good and bad teachers.

Money is tight and budgets will have to be cut. I have been teaching at the high school level for many, many years The one thing I have noticed is a lack of discipline, and entitlement in the students that seems to increase with each passing year. I had a student actually tell me several years ago..."But you HAVE to change my D to an A! If I get all A's my Dad will buy me a Hummer!"

I have seen a change in parents as well. Phone calls home concerning discpline issues have gone from, "What did my kid do?" and "Thanks for letting me know, I'll be sure to deal with this." to...."What did you do to my kid?"

[jelli]

Originally Posted by Invictus

There are good and bad parents, just as there are good and bad teachers.

Money is tight and budgets will have to be cut. I have been teaching at the high school level for many, many years The one thing I have noticed is a lack of discipline, and entitlement in the students that seems to increase with each passing year. I had a student actually tell me several years ago..."But you HAVE to change my D to an A! If I get all A's my Dad will buy me a Hummer!"

I have seen a change in parents as well. Phone calls home concerning discpline issues have gone from, "What did my kid do?" and "Thanks for letting me know, I'll be sure to deal with this." to...."What did you do to my kid?"

Invictus, I have the utmost respect for most teachers and what they have to endure from students, to parents, to the school, to the board, etc all while trying to balance their own work and home.

Entitlement - oh definitely!

I believe far to often parents allow the school to raise their kids versus letting the learning start at home and when appropriately so, backing the teacher and or school. This way the kids would almost see the unity and support and perhaps reduce the pitting one against the other. Wishful thinking huh?

[luv2luvgirls]

Originally Posted by Invictus

There are good and bad parents, just as there are good and bad teachers.

Money is tight and budgets will have to be cut. I have been teaching at the high school level for many, many years The one thing I have noticed is a lack of discipline, and entitlement in the students that seems to increase with each passing year. I had a student actually tell me several years ago..."But you HAVE to change my D to an A! If I get all A's my Dad will buy me a Hummer!"

I have seen a change in parents as well. Phone calls home concerning discpline issues have gone from, "What did my kid do?" and "Thanks for letting me know, I'll be sure to deal with this." to...."What did you do to my kid?"

nuff said! I agree totaly with this. I have been seeing it as well even here.

[JustJo]

Originally Posted by luv2luvgirls

whats hard for me is...she got all girlie on me now and I dont know how to paint nails or do makeup...my sister helps w/ it but I tried to buy her some make up once and man talk about feeling like i was in wonderland...none of that stuff is right for a lil kid...i was overwhelmed by the shear number of products it went on for isles and isles...I ended up finding a thing of lots of flavored lipgloss...and gave up
I had to tho as she snuck my sis's bright red lipstick from her house and brought it to school the next day for pics...I didnt know till I got the proofs :O for real!!

My niece wanted makeup very young too (and her mom was not in the picture, only her dad - a Marine with no clue about makeup)...so we compromised. I would get her a variety of cute pale pink and clear things with just a little glitter...mostly lip gloss and fingernail polish. She was satisfied because she had makeup to carry and use....and her father was happy that she didn't look too "made up" too young.

I also found her a very sheer powder with just a touch of sheen and glitter...that was enough to make her happy without being too over the top.

Amazingly, she was satisfied with that until she was 16 or 17....then she went goth.

[Invictus]

God bless the parents that are supportive....

I had to make a phone call home once and got, "Thank you so much for telling me, I'm going to deal with this as soon as she walks in the door. And if my kid EVER opens her mouth to you or another student and is disrespectful again.....here's my cell number....put me on speed dial.... grounded for a month can become two in a heart beat."

[luv2luvgirls]

Originally Posted by JustJo

My niece wanted makeup very young too (and her mom was not in the picture, only her dad - a Marine with no clue about makeup)...so we compromised. I would get her a variety of cute pale pink and clear things with just a little glitter...mostly lip gloss and fingernail polish. She was satisfied because she had makeup to carry and use....and her father was happy that she didn't look too "made up" too young.

I also found her a very sheer powder with just a touch of sheen and glitter...that was enough to make her happy without being too over the top.

Amazingly, she was satisfied with that until she was 16 or 17....then she went goth.

I was thinking along those lines good to hear it worked for so long thank you



Invictus: I am a parent that wants to know and will take the appropriate measures,but I found she is a good kid she never turns a card,I think it has a lot to do with teaching them respect first,for themselves and others.