Butches Cruel Joke?? *The Change*

[Strappie]

Originally Posted by jelli

Did you see the thread that I started:

http://www.butchfemmeplanet.com/foru...ead.php?t=3524

I did Jelli,

I guess what I am trying to get across is that Butches go through menopause differently than most. Maybe it is just me? I do think we are on a different level as far as what it does to us masculine folks mentally more than what menopause is or does on a daily basis for women in general.

Do you agree or am I way off here?

[Daywalker]

For me GTFU it isn't a Gender thing, it's something that connects a Gender to
my mind...which is what makes me feels displaced. Because I don't
use my physical being in determining my Gender.

Good lawd I hope that made sense.

[Strappie]

Mentally it it screws with me. I am butch I am masculine yet I have to go through this the same way as a g/f or a partner. And to hear those words say after you tell someone you can't sleep or you cry at the drop of a hat and they say... Oh you are going through menopause... uggghhh that's hard to hear!

It's a mental game being played... it's as if I have started puberty all over again in a butches body.

[jelli]

Originally Posted by Strappie

Mentally it it screws with me. I am butch I am masculine yet I have to go through this the same way as a g/f or a partner. And to hear those words say after you tell someone you can't sleep or you cry at the drop of a hat and they say... Oh you are going through menopause... uggghhh that's hard to hear!

It's a mental game being played... it's as if I have started puberty all over again in a butches body.

Is it a mind game to you because you feel as if once again your body has betrayed you? Do you feel as if nobody gets it(that unless you are masculine you wouldn't understand what masculine minded people experience)?

***cross posting****

Originally Posted by Corkey View Post
I am a secure human, so I know this too shall pass and has nothing to do with how I am perceived.
*****************

This was a perfect sentence to me.

[Strappie]

Originally Posted by jelli

Is it a mind game to you because you feel as if once again your body has betrayed you? Do you feel as if nobody gets it(that unless you are masculine you wouldn't understand what masculine minded people experience)?

***cross posting****

Originally Posted by Corkey View Post
I am a secure human, so I know this too shall pass and has nothing to do with how I am perceived.
*****************

This was a perfect sentence to me.

Jelli,

I am not hear to debate whether or not you know how one feels towards this issue. I am merely trying to ask other masculine folks whether or not they too have issues with the fact that we have to once again go through this sort of thing.

perhaps nobody else has these mental feelings towards "the change"
perhaps it is just me?

[jelli]

Originally Posted by Strappie

Jelli,

I am not hear to debate whether or not you know how one feels towards this issue. I am merely trying to ask other masculine folks whether or not they too have issues with the fact that we have to once again go through this sort of thing.

perhaps nobody else has these mental feelings towards "the change"
perhaps it is just me?

My apologies if you assumed that I was trying to debate. That was never my intention.

[Chazz]

Masculine folk, aboard.

Originally Posted by Strappie

I am not hear to debate whether or not you know how one feels towards this issue. I am merely trying to ask other masculine folks whether or not they too have issues with the fact that we have to once again go through this sort of thing.

perhaps nobody else has these mental feelings towards "the change" perhaps it is just me?

Yet, here is a compilation of you doing just that - debating how it feels for masculine folks to go through menopause....

Originally Posted by Strappie

Mentally it it screws with me. I am butch I am masculine yet I have to go through this the same way as a g/f or a partner. And to hear those words say after you tell someone you can't sleep or you cry at the drop of a hat and they say... Oh you are going through menopause... uggghhh that's hard to hear!

It's a mental game being played... it's as if I have started puberty all over again in a butches body.


Mentally it it screws with me. I am butch I am masculine yet I have to go through this the same way as a g/f or a partner. And to hear those words say after you tell someone you can't sleep or you cry at the drop of a hat and they say... Oh you are going through menopause... uggghhh that's hard to hear!

It's a mental game being played... it's as if I have started puberty all over again in a butches body.


Physically... I say yes... we all go through it basically the same...

Mentally... Hell NO

As a tres masculine butch (albeit a woman IDed one), I feel my experience with menopause is probably no different than any other woman's experience with menopause.

To the extent that it feels different psychologically - and allowing for the fact that every women experiences menopause somewhat differently - it's me severing my mind from my body.

Not that I don't know that this is a reality for some, I'm just suggesting it may make the experience worse that it might otherwise be.

The good news is that reliable research indicates that menopause has an upside, too. Studies show that it alleviates, even resolves, intractable depression.

I guess I'm saying all this to say, NO, not all masculine butches experience menopause as dissonant from our experience of ourselves as butches.

[jelli]

Originally Posted by Strappie

I did Jelli,

I guess what I am trying to get across is that Butches go through menopause differently than most. Maybe it is just me? I do think we are on a different level as far as what it does to us masculine folks mentally more than what menopause is or does on a daily basis for women in general.

Do you agree or am I way off here?

My own belief is that "masculine folks" may be on a more psychological level, but physically is there much difference?

That is part of what the guys have been talking about over in the other thread. I am so thankful for anyone speaking up.

My Cruel who by the was her whole screen name is Cruel Joke. Anyhow, I would never assume the way I enter, go through, curse menopause is going to be anywhere near what man-o-pause may be for her. I do believe knowing what I have been through, as well as knowing my partner, allows me some insight on how better to help with the transition.

Make sense?

[Strappie]

Originally Posted by jelli

My own belief is that "masculine folks" may be on a more psychological level, but physically is there much difference?

That is part of what the guys have been talking about over in the other thread. I am so thankful for anyone speaking up.

My Cruel who by the was her whole screen name is Cruel Joke. Anyhow, I would never assume the way I enter, go through, curse menopause is going to be anywhere near what man-o-pause may be for her. I do believe knowing what I have been through, as well as knowing my partner, allows me some insight on how better to help with the transition.

Make sense?

Physically... I say yes... we all go through it basically the same...

Mentally... Hell NO

[jelli]

Originally Posted by Strappie

Physically... I say yes... we all go through it basically the same...

Mentally... Hell NO

That's what I said Strap. I absolutely know ya'll go through it psychologically in worse ways. I wish it was easier. i wish for all those that it is not easier that they may find some piece of mind, people around that can find empathy, and if they have a current love that that lover can wrap all the love and support they can muster around their partner.

I have ALWAYS told Cruel, "You are strong for me always. On the days when you are not at your strongest let me love you better/stronger."

[Strappie]

Originally Posted by jelli

That's what I said Strap. I absolutely know ya'll go through it psychologically in worse ways. I wish it was easier. i wish for all those that it is not easier that they may find some piece of mind, people around that can find empathy, and if they have a current love that that lover can wrap all the love and support they can muster around their partner.

I have ALWAYS told Cruel, "You are strong for me always. On the days when you are not at your strongest let me love you better/stronger."

And that is great you have the support of your partner... I am single, My friends here don't understand the B/F dynamic (they try) or what butch really means to me (we have talked about it many times) but trully they don't fully understand it.

So for your partner who has someone that can understand it fully what they are going through I am grateful they have that support!

For me, I go it alone....

[Medusa]

Strappie -

I know that going to the DR can be incredibly uncomfortable and scary but sweetie, PLEASE go. It is SO important to get those regular checkups so that you can be alerted to abnormal bloodwork or Cancerous cells. Please do this for yourself.

I think I understand what you are saying about how the experience feels different to a Butch. You and I may have the same plumbing but my OBGYN is used to seeing women like me in the chair every day - I can imagine that the experience of being a Butch person and going through the same thing can feel really triggery or unsafe. I think this is especially true of Butches who do not feel especially connected to that part of their body.

Get to the Doctor! Take a Sisterfriend or hell, make an appointment here in Little Rock and get a Butch buddy to go with you during the Reunion. Hell, make a field trip out of it and get a BUNCH of Butch buddies to go. This is necessary for your health and sanity and the people who love you want you to be healthy dammit!

I support you!

[Strappie]

Yes. the Doctor is in the works.. Finding one that "fits" for me and that I feel safe with is a very important thing. I don't have a primary doctor since my move up to the twin cities about 11 yrs ago so it is time I step up and take my health seriously and swallow my pride and get checked out. I started me research in finding one this weekend.

Thank you Medusa your words mean a lot!

[Glenn]

I dunno Strappie, I am male id and did'nt or don't cry like you and all that. Menopause, (hot flashes) and all, just came and went. I did'nt feel anything else different.

[atomiczombie]

It's different for everyone. I was supposed to go through it after my radical hysterectomy, but I didn't feel any hot flashes or emotional stuff at all. And I refused to take the estrogen patches they gave me at the time. I am sorry your body is reacting that way, and good lawd I understand how hard it is as a masculine person with a female body to go to an ob/gyn and have them poke around at you. However, what Medusa said is a good idea: have a friend go with you for moral support. I am sending positive energy your way bud.

[Strappie]

Originally Posted by popcorninthesofa

I dunno Strappie, I am male id and did'nt or don't cry like you and all that. Menopause, (hot flashes) and all, just came and went. I did'nt feel anything.

You are very lucky!! It's no cake walk.. lol

[christie]

Scrappie -

Jess and I have had recent conversations about menopause because I think (and I am certain Jess does too, however much in denial she may be) that its knockin' on Jess' door. Emotions all over the place and chugging away in the middle of the night like the lil heater that could. You might say that our bed has become a baptismal of sorts - and this aint the usual "girl watering the world" happy adult funtime kinda way!

I know that Jess moves through the world differently and the monthly cycle is at the top of the list. All I can say is that Medusa is spot on about seeing a doctor and knowing that you have kindred spirits here. If you need to put a positive spin on it, at least this is the beginning of the end for periods!

(BTW, as a smoker (not sure if you have been able to quit - I think you were trying?) - traditional HRC (hormone replacement therapy) is probably not a good fit for you. I don't claim to be a doctor, but I have had a stroke and that coupled with smoking, HRC will not be an option for me. Its my understanding that its not recommended for smokers, but I could be wrong. Please work with your doctor to find a treatment plan that is best for you!)

Hang in there, stock up on kleenex, take up driving golf balls (great for those surges in anger), invest in that fan and most of all, be kind to yourself - cut yourself some slack.

Much big gay love to you!

[Just_G]

I get what you are saying Strappie! Even though I have had a hysto, I still have those little ovaries and they fuck with my hormonal levels, my mood, and good god, the hotflashes are HELL!!

A lot of women I know joke around about "the change", and it's not something I talk about with them when they are all talking about it. It's like you said, I am going through puberty all over again....when all the girls were getting their periods, they all talked openly about it and I was wanting to run and hide because it made me uncomfortable. Same deal really.

I just don't like relating to anything....ANYTHING that has to do with female stuff....I have never even liked saying I am female. Checking the F box instead of M box kills me...let alone talking about hormones and hotflashes!!


You can always call me if you need to vent or cry....though it might make me cry....it could get ugly...lol

[Strappie]

Originally Posted by Just_G

I get what you are saying Strappie! Even though I have had a hysto, I still have those little ovaries and they fuck with my hormonal levels, my mood, and good god, the hotflashes are HELL!!

A lot of women I know joke around about "the change", and it's not something I talk about with them when they are all talking about it. It's like you said, I am going through puberty all over again....when all the girls were getting their periods, they all talked openly about it and I was wanting to run and hide because it made me uncomfortable. Same deal really.

I just don't like relating to anything....ANYTHING that has to do with female stuff....I have never even liked saying I am female. Checking the F box instead of M box kills me...let alone talking about hormones and hotflashes!!


You can always call me if you need to vent or cry....though it might make me cry....it could get ugly...lol

Dude... jesus if this doesn't get in check we may be crying all the way to Little Rock... God help me.. it's NOT going to be like last year!! That was the start of it... and it will be the END of it!!

Thanks buddy I can always count on you!!

It is hard to relate to certain things as a butch in a female sense.