Reclaiming Lesbian Pride

[dreadgeek]

Originally Posted by DapperButch

I loved your whole post, dreadgeek, especially the part about NO ONE being given a free pass on what we expect in terms of behavior. I do believe that this has been overlooked in our community.

Additionally, I think that you pointing out that it is actually BETTER for the person themselves to be held accountable, is an important point. Being held accountable is how we grow as individuals. How we grow our community into being a healthy place.

(nod to our mods here at the Planet)



The above reminds of how "back in the day", butches and femmes would take on mentoring new members to the community. You hear about the "butch code", where one would not date a friend's ex-girlfriend, for example.

Although I believe that the mentoring of the "baby butches" happened more often by both butches and femmes, I do believe that this was true for some femmes in the community as well (I have read less about this, however).

This was what I was thinking of when I wrote that post. There was once a time when an older butch would feel comfortable taking a younger butch under her wing and saying "listen to me, young pup, you got the swagger, you got the attitude, you got the recognition nod down pat but there's more to being a butch than just that. I've been around the block so stick with me, kid, because someone has to give you this teaching and those of us in the life are the only ones who give enough of a damn about you to do it". I would like to see us return to that idea.

When I first came out, there was a group of women who had a D&D group that met every Friday. For three years, we got together, broke bread and rolled dice and generally geeked out. Those women taught me so much. When I needed a shoulder and advice, one of them was there for me. When I needed a kick in the ass, one of them was there for that as well. They routinely said things to me that would, today, have them excoriated for being ---ist or --phobic. Yet, that wasn't the place they were operating out of. They were operating out of a sense of love, tenderness and a sense that as older, wiser lesbians they had a responsibility to help me find my way in the world as an adult, queer woman.

To me, that WAS community and it was as strong a sense of community as I'd had sense leaving home.

Cheers
Aj