Breaking the Spell: Rethinking queer community

Greyson · 08-25-2011, 01:30 PM

Aj, I think it takes courage, a willingness to feel uncomfortable and a commitment to take a look at changing ourselves as individuals in our daily actions and thoughts. This is what I believe will move our community forward.

A few years back I realized just how much the "victim mentality" held me back and I had allowed life circumstances to wound me and turn me into an angry, fearful, and stagnated human being. I have judged others and I have learned to forgive.

I have walked through life in different realities. Most of my life I have been perceived as masculine and queer. I have been perceived to be middle-class, working-class and welfare-class. Some see me as a foreigner in my own country and some perceive me to be white. I have been perceived to be educated and to be illiterate. I have been told I speak with a heavy Spanish accent and English is my first and primary language. I have negotiated myself through what sometimes feels like a world of paradox.

I am tired of the "me me" paradigm too. I will start with some of my transgressions. I cannot tell you how many times internally I have dismissed lesbians and white women saying “I don't feel safe. I need my own safe space." I know I have a lot of baggage around this. When I hear this, I hear, "You are masculine, you are a POC and you are wired to hurt people like me; not masculine, privileged and clueless about other cultures." I know this may sound frightening to some but I am being real.

I know I have a ways to go. I am trying. Trust me; many times I am as scared and leery of the ones needing safety as they are of people like me.

Heart · 08-25-2011, 01:39 PM

~Differentiate between linking oppressions and oppression olympics.

~Recognize that discussing gender politics, pronoun choice, safe space, visibility, etc are privileges that most people do not have, and that huge swaths of people across the globe are routinely and rigidly oppressed based upon sex, gender, race, and class.

~Understand that no personal journey, process, choice, label, or experience is free of a social/cultural context.

~Understand also things like institutional power, blaming victims (shifting accountability), internalized oppression, horizontal hostility, and tokanism.

08-25-2011, 01:30 PM	#1
Greyson Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Transmasculine/Non-Binary Preferred Pronoun?: Hy (Pronounced He) Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: SF Bay Area Posts: 6,589 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 21,132 Thanked 8,153 Times in 2,006 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	Aj, I think it takes courage, a willingness to feel uncomfortable and a commitment to take a look at changing ourselves as individuals in our daily actions and thoughts. This is what I believe will move our community forward. A few years back I realized just how much the "victim mentality" held me back and I had allowed life circumstances to wound me and turn me into an angry, fearful, and stagnated human being. I have judged others and I have learned to forgive. I have walked through life in different realities. Most of my life I have been perceived as masculine and queer. I have been perceived to be middle-class, working-class and welfare-class. Some see me as a foreigner in my own country and some perceive me to be white. I have been perceived to be educated and to be illiterate. I have been told I speak with a heavy Spanish accent and English is my first and primary language. I have negotiated myself through what sometimes feels like a world of paradox. I am tired of the "me me" paradigm too. I will start with some of my transgressions. I cannot tell you how many times internally I have dismissed lesbians and white women saying “I don't feel safe. I need my own safe space." I know I have a lot of baggage around this. When I hear this, I hear, "You are masculine, you are a POC and you are wired to hurt people like me; not masculine, privileged and clueless about other cultures." I know this may sound frightening to some but I am being real. I know I have a ways to go. I am trying. Trust me; many times I am as scared and leery of the ones needing safety as they are of people like me. __________________ Sometimes you don't realize your own strength until you come face to face with your greatest weakness. - Susan Gale

08-25-2011, 01:39 PM	#2
Heart Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Relationship Status: rainbows! Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: NY Posts: 466 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 303 Thanked 2,522 Times in 409 Posts Rep Power: 12032610	community accountability ~Differentiate between linking oppressions and oppression olympics. ~Recognize that discussing gender politics, pronoun choice, safe space, visibility, etc are privileges that most people do not have, and that huge swaths of people across the globe are routinely and rigidly oppressed based upon sex, gender, race, and class. ~Understand that no personal journey, process, choice, label, or experience is free of a social/cultural context. ~Understand also things like institutional power, blaming victims (shifting accountability), internalized oppression, horizontal hostility, and tokanism.