Breaking the Spell: Rethinking queer community

Apocalipstic · 08-25-2011, 02:30 PM

Yes, but I really don't want anyone to call me out for who I am...it is none of anyone's business.

Individual bad behavior? Yes Who I am? No

Admittedly I live in the South where we talk behind people's backs and never to their faces, but who am I to make moral judgements for other people outside of the basics?

SecretAgentMa'am · 08-25-2011, 02:41 PM

I'm not actually talking about being called out for who you are. More not being called for what you do because of who you are.

"I'm a woman, I can act however I want and it can't be sexist."
"I'm a transman, I don't have male privilege to throw around."
"I'm a POC, nothing I say can be racist."

That's what I'm talking about.

Also, regarding morals: I think we've made a big mistake in not being willing to claim morals or take a moral stand. Yes, some people think we're all immoral. My moral center says those people are the ones who are immoral. If one side says they're taking a moral stand, and those they're opposed to won't, things will continue just as they are. Different people have different morals, and we would help ourselves a lot more by standing up and claiming *our* morals and holding them up against the morals of the opposition. As long as only one side is willing to claim a moral stand, only one side will be seen as moral. This is one of those cases where we need to be willing to say "no, what you're calling moral is actually wrong and immoral."

Greyson · 08-25-2011, 02:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SecretAgentMa'am

"I'm a woman, I can act however I want and it can't be sexist."
"I'm a transman, I don't have male privilege to throw around."
"I'm a POC, nothing I say can be racist."

That's what I'm talking about.

Thank you.

The_Lady_Snow · 08-25-2011, 02:46 PM

I use words like bitch, cunt towards both men and women. I have posted in language that isn't appealing. Aj you stopped me in my tracks in The Racism thread about behaviour expectations of being the better person. I've not posted in there since because you're right I know better and should know better. I don't know how easy how it's going to be calling out community when it comes to isms. "I" feel when and if you do call them out some people will either have this need to only listen to those who post in verbiage that's acceptable. Also it's just downright tiring to always or to see stuff and watch it get unnoticed. Sometimes some of us want to say more and we don't know how to use academic language that won't sound "angry". I find myself once again relearning things from communications that have gone on, are going on and hopefully will continue on. Thanks for the kick in the rear and reminding us to unpack our shit. It's time it seems. How much people will depends on putting trust that when you are no one holds it against us.

08-25-2011, 02:30 PM	#1
Apocalipstic Pink Confection How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, Her, Ma'am Relationship Status: Dating Myself Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Nashville Posts: 4,266 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 17,195 Thanked 11,362 Times in 2,838 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	Yes, but I really don't want anyone to call me out for who I am...it is none of anyone's business. Individual bad behavior? Yes Who I am? No Admittedly I live in the South where we talk behind people's backs and never to their faces, but who am I to make moral judgements for other people outside of the basics? __________________

08-25-2011, 02:41 PM	#2
SecretAgentMa'am Member How Do You Identify?: Redheaded Bellydancing Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Very married Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: Portland, OR, USA Posts: 215 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 84 Thanked 778 Times in 171 Posts Rep Power: 15100837	I'm not actually talking about being called out for who you are. More not being called for what you do because of who you are. "I'm a woman, I can act however I want and it can't be sexist." "I'm a transman, I don't have male privilege to throw around." "I'm a POC, nothing I say can be racist." That's what I'm talking about. Also, regarding morals: I think we've made a big mistake in not being willing to claim morals or take a moral stand. Yes, some people think we're all immoral. My moral center says those people are the ones who are immoral. If one side says they're taking a moral stand, and those they're opposed to won't, things will continue just as they are. Different people have different morals, and we would help ourselves a lot more by standing up and claiming our morals and holding them up against the morals of the opposition. As long as only one side is willing to claim a moral stand, only one side will be seen as moral. This is one of those cases where we need to be willing to say "no, what you're calling moral is actually wrong and immoral." __________________ Change the voices in your head Make them like you instead

08-25-2011, 02:46 PM	#4
The_Lady_Snow MILLION $$$ PUSSY How Do You Identify?: Kinky, Raw, Perverted, Uber Queer Alpha Femme Preferred Pronoun?: Iconic Ms. Relationship Status: Keeper of 3, only one has the map to my freckles Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: La Reina del Sur Posts: 22,488 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 32,231 Thanked 80,078 Times in 15,670 Posts Rep Power: 21474874	Slowly thinking I use words like bitch, cunt towards both men and women. I have posted in language that isn't appealing. Aj you stopped me in my tracks in The Racism thread about behaviour expectations of being the better person. I've not posted in there since because you're right I know better and should know better. I don't know how easy how it's going to be calling out community when it comes to isms. "I" feel when and if you do call them out some people will either have this need to only listen to those who post in verbiage that's acceptable. Also it's just downright tiring to always or to see stuff and watch it get unnoticed. Sometimes some of us want to say more and we don't know how to use academic language that won't sound "angry". I find myself once again relearning things from communications that have gone on, are going on and hopefully will continue on. Thanks for the kick in the rear and reminding us to unpack our shit. It's time it seems. How much people will depends on putting trust that when you are no one holds it against us. __________________ "If you’re going to play these dirty games of ours, then you might as well indulge completely. It’s all about turning back into an animal and that’s the beauty of it. Place your guilt on the sidewalk and take a blow torch to it (guilt is usually worthless anyway). Be perverted, be filthy, do things that mannered people shouldn’t do. If you’re going to be gross then go for it and don’t wimp out."---Master Aiden