Is revenge OK?

Nat · 08-30-2011, 10:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hunter Green

In a nutshell: Is revenge OK? If not, why? If so, why?

I'm not sure what "ok" is.

I tend to think revenge and/or retaliation involves natural instinct. Maybe it does serve some sort of purpose for our animal selves.

But when you look at the forest instead of the trees, revenge just makes things worse. i think revenge may harm the person who has hurt you, but it also hurts/damages you.

An exercise I recently heard of for dealing with the times one's been hurt, is to take that hurt and think about whether you've ever hurt a person in a similar way. Sometimes the answer is no, but I think it's a good exercise. When people do bad stuff, it's on them. Karma or not, it's on them. I think the best a person can do is to take responsibility for healing any wounds created to the best of our ability so that we don't end up hurting others due to our on wounds.

I think it's true what I heard on a recent Zen podcast: Hurt people hurt people and healed people heal people. So focusing on healing is, I believe, far more beneficial to oneself and society than getting back at somebody else.

Sometimes easier said then done - I'm afraid I've been spiteful far too many times in my life due to a pereived wrong.

Reader · 09-01-2011, 04:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nat

I'm not sure what "ok" is.

I tend to think revenge and/or retaliation involves natural instinct. Maybe it does serve some sort of purpose for our animal selves.

But when you look at the forest instead of the trees, revenge just makes things worse. i think revenge may harm the person who has hurt you, but it also hurts/damages you.

An exercise I recently heard of for dealing with the times one's been hurt, is to take that hurt and think about whether you've ever hurt a person in a similar way. Sometimes the answer is no, but I think it's a good exercise. When people do bad stuff, it's on them. Karma or not, it's on them. I think the best a person can do is to take responsibility for healing any wounds created to the best of our ability so that we don't end up hurting others due to our on wounds.

I think it's true what I heard on a recent Zen podcast: Hurt people hurt people and healed people heal people. So focusing on healing is, I believe, far more beneficial to oneself and society than getting back at somebody else.

Sometimes easier said then done - I'm afraid I've been spiteful far too many times in my life due to a pereived wrong.

In a word: SUPERB. Thank you for your thoughtful post.

Soft*Silver · 09-01-2011, 04:40 PM

I believe in revenge. But it had better be for a good reason, nothing stupid like someone breaking you and your partner up. Harm my daughter in a peak way, and by god and all the angels, I will seek revenge. You can call it any word you want, avenge, revenge, defend, etc. It will still result in the same action and result. And of course, I will pay any consequence associated with it. We can do anything we want to do as long as we are willing to pay the consequences. For this, I would.

Other than the above example, no one has done anything to me in this life that has needed revenge. Oh I thought about it twice in my life, both associated with past relationships. But I had to put my energy into healing, which is positive energy, instead of destruction, which is negative energy. Once healed, I no longer had the need for revenge.

I do know my level of hurt in relationships is at its peak. I dont know how I would be if someone hurt me deeply again in a relationship. Quite frankly, I dont trust myself to that level of hurt....

Venus007 · 01-16-2012, 03:35 PM

I believe that revenge happens with no input from me. I think that people who do evil will reap what they sew and I will not have to lift a finger to enforce it. It is like that old quote "Gods wheels grind slow but exceedingly fine"

kannon · 01-16-2012, 06:27 PM

"The first written appearance of the proverb "revenge is a dish best served cold" is often wrongly credited to the novel Les liaisons dangereuses (1782); it does not, in fact, appear there in any form. It is earliest identified appearance in European literature is in the 1841 French novel Mathilde by Marie Joseph Eugène Sue: la vengeance se mange très-bien froide — there italicized as if quoting a proverbial saying — published in English translation in 1846 as revenge is very good eaten cold.[8]

The proverb suggests that revenge is more satisfying as a considered response enacted when unexpected, or long feared, inverting the more traditional revulsion toward 'cold-blooded' violence. In early literature it is used, usually, to persuade another to forestall vengeance until wisdom can reassert itself. This sense is lost in recent presentations."

This expresses my thoughts on revenge.

09-01-2011, 04:40 PM	#3
SoftSilver Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: rose cottage Posts: 5,592 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 8,948 Thanked 15,894 Times in 4,062 Posts Rep Power*: 21474857	I believe in revenge. But it had better be for a good reason, nothing stupid like someone breaking you and your partner up. Harm my daughter in a peak way, and by god and all the angels, I will seek revenge. You can call it any word you want, avenge, revenge, defend, etc. It will still result in the same action and result. And of course, I will pay any consequence associated with it. We can do anything we want to do as long as we are willing to pay the consequences. For this, I would. Other than the above example, no one has done anything to me in this life that has needed revenge. Oh I thought about it twice in my life, both associated with past relationships. But I had to put my energy into healing, which is positive energy, instead of destruction, which is negative energy. Once healed, I no longer had the need for revenge. I do know my level of hurt in relationships is at its peak. I dont know how I would be if someone hurt me deeply again in a relationship. Quite frankly, I dont trust myself to that level of hurt.... __________________ Pole bachit, a lis chuye. The field sees, the forest hears

01-16-2012, 03:35 PM	#4
Venus007 Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: Serene Highness ;} Relationship Status: Dreamily contemplating some outrage against conventional morality Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Houston area Posts: 1,362 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,417 Thanked 4,749 Times in 1,139 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	I believe that revenge happens with no input from me. I think that people who do evil will reap what they sew and I will not have to lift a finger to enforce it. It is like that old quote "Gods wheels grind slow but exceedingly fine" __________________ . "I need no warrant for being, and no word of sanction upon my being. I am the warrant and the sanction. " Ayn Rand, Anthem "So you'll die happily for your sins. You'd rather die in guilt then live in love?" Timothy Leary

01-16-2012, 06:27 PM	#5
kannon Member How Do You Identify?: bloke Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: Happy is the heart that believes in angels Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: Land of Milk and Honey Posts: 884 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,920 Thanked 2,066 Times in 584 Posts Rep Power: 21474851	Shoot me, but wiki says... "The first written appearance of the proverb "revenge is a dish best served cold" is often wrongly credited to the novel Les liaisons dangereuses (1782); it does not, in fact, appear there in any form. It is earliest identified appearance in European literature is in the 1841 French novel Mathilde by Marie Joseph Eugène Sue: la vengeance se mange très-bien froide — there italicized as if quoting a proverbial saying — published in English translation in 1846 as revenge is very good eaten cold.[8] The proverb suggests that revenge is more satisfying as a considered response enacted when unexpected, or long feared, inverting the more traditional revulsion toward 'cold-blooded' violence. In early literature it is used, usually, to persuade another to forestall vengeance until wisdom can reassert itself. This sense is lost in recent presentations." This expresses my thoughts on revenge. __________________ Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken.