Is it normal to grieve for so long

Gráinne · 08-31-2011, 12:08 AM

I am sorry for your loss.

I went through about the same thing 20 years ago, at four months -the baby didn't have a heartbeat. Every November, around the anniversary, it's still tough. It's not that it occupies my mind all the rest of the year, but that day is hard. I still hear the doctor telling me-and showing me-the blank ultrasound. When I had my children many years later, I could never look at the ultrasound screen and had them turn it away from me. That day, and the operation that followed, were the worst days of my life.

I don't think it ever really goes away, but what does help me is a simple little rememberance. Sometimes I write, sometimes I just "talk" to my baby. Whatever has meaning to you.

Know that you aren't alone, are not crazy, and that whatever you feel on that anniversary is all right. I am sorry the doctor was such a putz, but you can take care of yourself when emotions start rising.

If you need to talk, send me a message.

08-31-2011, 12:08 AM	#5
Gráinne Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Neither, nada, out of the box Preferred Pronoun?: My name always works Relationship Status: Happy whatever happens Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: Little Rock Posts: 1,866 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,119 Thanked 7,392 Times in 1,459 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	I am sorry for your loss. I went through about the same thing 20 years ago, at four months -the baby didn't have a heartbeat. Every November, around the anniversary, it's still tough. It's not that it occupies my mind all the rest of the year, but that day is hard. I still hear the doctor telling me-and showing me-the blank ultrasound. When I had my children many years later, I could never look at the ultrasound screen and had them turn it away from me. That day, and the operation that followed, were the worst days of my life. I don't think it ever really goes away, but what does help me is a simple little rememberance. Sometimes I write, sometimes I just "talk" to my baby. Whatever has meaning to you. Know that you aren't alone, are not crazy, and that whatever you feel on that anniversary is all right. I am sorry the doctor was such a putz, but you can take care of yourself when emotions start rising. If you need to talk, send me a message. __________________ The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one. ~Erma Bombeck