Is it normal to grieve for so long

The Oopster · 08-31-2011, 11:51 AM

It's been a long time since I've taken my course work or done anythng with it but there are natural stages of grief and everyone has there own time period and way of getting through them. Grief is normal and okay.

If we don't allow ourselves to go through the process we get stuck in it!

If you are concerned about it I would suggest finding a grief counselor. I would contact funeral homes for some good referals.

Lizzy · 08-31-2011, 08:03 PM

Thank you all so much. I think I do a little better each year with the way I cope with my grief. This year I am trying to focus on my creative outlets.One of the perks of my jobs is creating art with the kids in my pre-school class.I really can't explain it but when I am doing something like painting with the kids I feel at peace.I still have my moments where I find myself wanting to close myself into my bedroom and sleep the day away.When my boys are home I push myself through, it is harder when they are with their Dad.

citybutch · 08-31-2011, 09:48 PM

When I was 5 years old my first father died... suddenly and painfully. Our gardener walked him through my room on the way to car to take him to the hospital. My last memory of him is screaming as he was being supported to the car. I never cried. I stopped talking for a 2 weeks... I went inside.

It has taken decades for me to acknowledge that there was a 5 year old little girl traumatized by the event. I am 52 years old in October this year and I am still working on coming to terms with the impact of his death on my life. I have a powerful cellular memory of it. Most of the last 47 years I have been unconscious of it and I simply reacted to it....

I just went through a NLP (neuro-linguisitc programming) session with a friend of mine and it was pretty interesting and helped me to break the cycle of cellular memory. We will see if it works for next year

.... I am not suggesting this to you but perhaps it may be something to think about trying anything that may help you as you uncover and cope with your loss.... therapy, NLP, acupuncture, spiritual work... and sometimes it is a combination of many things...

I hope you find your own peace...

kannon · 08-31-2011, 10:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lizzy

Thank you all so much. I think I do a little better each year with the way I cope with my grief. This year I am trying to focus on my creative outlets.One of the perks of my jobs is creating art with the kids in my pre-school class.I really can't explain it but when I am doing something like painting with the kids I feel at peace.I still have my moments where I find myself wanting to close myself into my bedroom and sleep the day away.When my boys are home I push myself through, it is harder when they are with their Dad.

Art is so therapeutic. It's great that you have that creative outlet at work. Bonus points for getting paid for it.

Arwen suggested EMRD. I've heard really good things about this therapy. Supposed to be really effective for trauma victims.

Arwen · 09-01-2011, 11:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kannon

Art is so therapeutic. It's great that you have that creative outlet at work. Bonus points for getting paid for it.

Arwen suggested EMRD. I've heard really good things about this therapy. Supposed to be really effective for trauma victims.

I've personally found it to be invaluable for my own trauma recovery.

Good luck to you, Lizzy. Art is a lovely outlet!

08-31-2011, 08:03 PM	#2
Lizzy Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: she Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: California Posts: 63 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 62 Thanked 155 Times in 34 Posts Rep Power: 940030	Thank you all so much. I think I do a little better each year with the way I cope with my grief. This year I am trying to focus on my creative outlets.One of the perks of my jobs is creating art with the kids in my pre-school class.I really can't explain it but when I am doing something like painting with the kids I feel at peace.I still have my moments where I find myself wanting to close myself into my bedroom and sleep the day away.When my boys are home I push myself through, it is harder when they are with their Dad. __________________ Well behaved women rarely make history http://i871.photobucket.com/albums/a...86/lizzy-1.gif

08-31-2011, 09:48 PM	#3
citybutch Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: I answer to "hey you" (either works for me!) Relationship Status: 19 years together- Very Married for 10 years Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: San Diego Posts: 557 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 835 Thanked 1,194 Times in 355 Posts Rep Power: 6434867	When I was 5 years old my first father died... suddenly and painfully. Our gardener walked him through my room on the way to car to take him to the hospital. My last memory of him is screaming as he was being supported to the car. I never cried. I stopped talking for a 2 weeks... I went inside. It has taken decades for me to acknowledge that there was a 5 year old little girl traumatized by the event. I am 52 years old in October this year and I am still working on coming to terms with the impact of his death on my life. I have a powerful cellular memory of it. Most of the last 47 years I have been unconscious of it and I simply reacted to it.... I just went through a NLP (neuro-linguisitc programming) session with a friend of mine and it was pretty interesting and helped me to break the cycle of cellular memory. We will see if it works for next year .... I am not suggesting this to you but perhaps it may be something to think about trying anything that may help you as you uncover and cope with your loss.... therapy, NLP, acupuncture, spiritual work... and sometimes it is a combination of many things... I hope you find your own peace... __________________ Take care of your body, take care of your health... You never know when the walls cave in and it all changes for good.

08-31-2011, 11:51 AM	#1
The Oopster Senior Member How Do You Identify?: transgender male Preferred Pronoun?: he Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: carson city nv Posts: 1,987 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 303 Thanked 2,654 Times in 759 Posts Rep Power: 20061509	It's been a long time since I've taken my course work or done anythng with it but there are natural stages of grief and everyone has there own time period and way of getting through them. Grief is normal and okay. If we don't allow ourselves to go through the process we get stuck in it! If you are concerned about it I would suggest finding a grief counselor. I would contact funeral homes for some good referals.