Lets Hear a BIG HELL YEAH from the Redneck Girls & Cowboys

[christie]

Originally Posted by Blade

Christie you crack me up with your snake phobia! Snakes come out when it starts to get warm, usually about April you will start to see snakes. The cooler the weather the slower they are. So from May to October in our area you will see snakes, or might see snakes. Your chances of it being a poisonous snake is about 1 in 5.
http://www.uga.edu/srelherp/ecoview/Eco3.htm

When I first came to live on the plantation with Jess, I was sitting in the house one morning, checking email and waking up. Jess, outside watering landscaping yells, "Hey honey! Come here!"

I walk out on the screened porch and Hy is pointing to a 6' black snake sunning in the grass not two feet from the front door.

With the high pitched screech heard as far west as Memphis, I was back in the house, on the phone with my father. It went a lil something like this:

Me: "DADDY!!!! How do you get rid of snakes without killing them?!?!?"

My father: "Well, punkin, what color is it?"

Me: "black"

Father: "Well, what shape is its head?"

Me: "I have no fucking clue, I didnt get that close"

Father: "what shape is its eyes? are they slanted?"

Me: "I wasnt that close. I didnt ask its heritage."

Father: "Well, how many are there?"

Me: "I dunno - I didnt ask if he had friends and family. How the FUCK DO I GET RID OF IT?!?!?!"

He then proceeds to go into a litany about good snakes and bad snakes and how we wanna keep the good ones...

KEEP the GOOD ones?!?!?!?!?!?

I didnt go back out into the yard except to the car and back for a good month.

Don't even get me started about how the next year as I went across our dirt road to check the mail and there was one laid out across the drive, blocking my path back to the house. Or how I was stuck out there for a good hour. Or how I refused to check the mail anymore without being armed.

Snakes... not my thing. Not then, not now, not never.