Beyond Owning It...

Elijah · 09-05-2011, 03:18 PM

I would ask 1. do you find this problematic and if so 2. what will you do to affect some change?

Quote:

Originally Posted by sweetfemme247

I flirt to much and sometimes to forward

always2late · 09-05-2011, 04:12 PM

I've found that most of my issues revolve around trust. Although the basis of this issue was given to me by others, I have to acknowledge that I DO tend to stand in my own way. By holding on to the past, and by projecting the mistrust on to other people...people who have done nothing to deserve it...I have effectively allowed myself to be imprisoned by my past. I am working on this...trying to let it all go. To find a balance between holding on to the lessons learned and letting the past stay where it belongs.

sweetfemme247 · 09-05-2011, 04:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ElijahRene

I would ask 1. do you find this problematic and if so 2. what will you do to affect some change?

well I seem to scare away the butches because I am, i thought flirting was a good thing

The_Lady_Snow · 09-05-2011, 04:58 PM

Sometimes I want and let greed sweep over me and I want to give in and have cable!!!! When this happens I've been working on making mysel look around and see what I do have and remind myself that needs are different from wants!

clay · 09-05-2011, 05:38 PM

I own that my exuberance and zest for life, as in "seizing the moment" and grasping opportunities as they present themselves can "overwhelm" and while I won't offer any apologies, I will continue to be myself...just as I am...I am a very loving, very compassionate, and very tenderhearted person...I want to be this way!!! Thank you for this post and opportunity!!!

DamonK · 09-05-2011, 06:22 PM

I recognize it's from my past.

I notice I take the blame for many things. Half the time it's not even my fault. My supervisors at work realize this and stop me. It's ingrained in me.

Now, I try to think about what happened and if I had any fault.

For example, MBE had to spend days convincing me that another's reaction to what I said was not my fault. Yes I said something that triggered, but I didn't force them to react the way they did.

foxyshaman · 09-06-2011, 10:50 AM

I can be two people, well more if I really thought about it. I am normally a very shy, one foot in front of the other person, creative person, a leader so not a follower. The other side of me is exuberant, someone who takes chances and never says die, very loving, compassionate.

The people who know the outgoing person can't believe I am shy. It is the outgoing side of me that has put me into the role of leader for my community. But the other introspective part of me wants very little to do with humans. It is a tight rope to walk trying to balance the "out" me with the "in" me.

I am trying to take the "in" me out more. Volunteering at events where I know no one is the one thing I am going to try this fall. I am trying to take the "in" me to places where no one knows me so that I can find an authentic expression for myself.

I am seeking more balance than I have had in previous years. Balance is a challenge to me.

ScandalAndy · 09-06-2011, 11:18 AM

I lack patience in heated debates when others cannot grasp the concept I am presenting.

I am easily frustrated when communication is difficult and often look for something to blame it on.

I tend to judge harshly and react with venom when I perceive that someone has been harsh to me.

For all of these things I am trying to take my time and ask myself "how much of this is me, and how much of this is them? Are there things they might be going through that I don't know about that would influence how they are interacting with everyone around them?". I'm trying very hard to be more compassionate. I'm also working on starting a new thread with a friend to discuss what I find to be major stumbling blocks in communication.

09-05-2011, 04:12 PM	#2
always2late Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: m'lady Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: NJ Posts: 2,000 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,834 Thanked 6,231 Times in 1,462 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	I've found that most of my issues revolve around trust. Although the basis of this issue was given to me by others, I have to acknowledge that I DO tend to stand in my own way. By holding on to the past, and by projecting the mistrust on to other people...people who have done nothing to deserve it...I have effectively allowed myself to be imprisoned by my past. I am working on this...trying to let it all go. To find a balance between holding on to the lessons learned and letting the past stay where it belongs. __________________ Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing there is a field. I'll meet you there ~ Rumi

09-05-2011, 04:58 PM	#4
The_Lady_Snow MILLION $$$ PUSSY How Do You Identify?: Kinky, Raw, Perverted, Uber Queer Alpha Femme Preferred Pronoun?: Iconic Ms. Relationship Status: Keeper of 3, only one has the map to my freckles Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: La Reina del Sur Posts: 22,488 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 32,231 Thanked 80,077 Times in 15,670 Posts Rep Power: 21474874	It's hard Sometimes I want and let greed sweep over me and I want to give in and have cable!!!! When this happens I've been working on making mysel look around and see what I do have and remind myself that needs are different from wants! __________________ "If you’re going to play these dirty games of ours, then you might as well indulge completely. It’s all about turning back into an animal and that’s the beauty of it. Place your guilt on the sidewalk and take a blow torch to it (guilt is usually worthless anyway). Be perverted, be filthy, do things that mannered people shouldn’t do. If you’re going to be gross then go for it and don’t wimp out."---Master Aiden

09-05-2011, 05:38 PM	#5
clay Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Butch (Silver Fox) Dom Daddi Preferred Pronoun?: 50 Shades of Clay Darker & Deeper Relationship Status: married to my forever Join Date: May 2011 Location: salt air & sandy beaches Posts: 13,136 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 97,020 Thanked 31,666 Times in 7,748 Posts Rep Power: 21474864	I own that my exuberance and zest for life, as in "seizing the moment" and grasping opportunities as they present themselves can "overwhelm" and while I won't offer any apologies, I will continue to be myself...just as I am...I am a very loving, very compassionate, and very tenderhearted person...I want to be this way!!! Thank you for this post and opportunity!!! __________________ To find someone who will love you for no reason, and to shower that person with reasons, that is the ultimate happiness. ~Robert Brault

09-06-2011, 10:50 AM	#7
foxyshaman Member How Do You Identify?: spiritually minded dirt dog Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: canada Posts: 898 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,957 Thanked 2,592 Times in 663 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	I can be two people, well more if I really thought about it. I am normally a very shy, one foot in front of the other person, creative person, a leader so not a follower. The other side of me is exuberant, someone who takes chances and never says die, very loving, compassionate. The people who know the outgoing person can't believe I am shy. It is the outgoing side of me that has put me into the role of leader for my community. But the other introspective part of me wants very little to do with humans. It is a tight rope to walk trying to balance the "out" me with the "in" me. I am trying to take the "in" me out more. Volunteering at events where I know no one is the one thing I am going to try this fall. I am trying to take the "in" me to places where no one knows me so that I can find an authentic expression for myself. I am seeking more balance than I have had in previous years. Balance is a challenge to me. __________________ Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail. Muriel Strode

09-06-2011, 11:18 AM	#8
ScandalAndy Member How Do You Identify?: human femme spitfire Preferred Pronoun?: she/her Relationship Status: it's official! Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: east coast USA Posts: 1,167 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,758 Thanked 3,217 Times in 753 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	I lack patience in heated debates when others cannot grasp the concept I am presenting. I am easily frustrated when communication is difficult and often look for something to blame it on. I tend to judge harshly and react with venom when I perceive that someone has been harsh to me. For all of these things I am trying to take my time and ask myself "how much of this is me, and how much of this is them? Are there things they might be going through that I don't know about that would influence how they are interacting with everyone around them?". I'm trying very hard to be more compassionate. I'm also working on starting a new thread with a friend to discuss what I find to be major stumbling blocks in communication. __________________ The joy of discovery is certainly the liveliest that the mind of man can ever feel. - Claude Bernard (1813-78)

09-05-2011, 06:22 PM	#6
DamonK Senior Member How Do You Identify?: . Preferred Pronoun?: . Relationship Status: . Join Date: May 2010 Location: . Posts: 2,199 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,527 Thanked 7,762 Times in 1,881 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	I recognize it's from my past. I notice I take the blame for many things. Half the time it's not even my fault. My supervisors at work realize this and stop me. It's ingrained in me. Now, I try to think about what happened and if I had any fault. For example, MBE had to spend days convincing me that another's reaction to what I said was not my fault. Yes I said something that triggered, but I didn't force them to react the way they did.