Ask a trans person!

Thinker · 09-11-2011, 06:07 PM

Posting as a member...not as a moderator...

I think the fact that Hunter Green has not returned to stay involved in this particular conversation is telling. I admit that I was suspicious of her intentions which is why I opted not to take the time I know it takes to thoroughly and thoughtfully answer those types of questions.

Unlike some, I do think we owe it to each other to educate others (both in and out of this community). I know some don't like that role, but I don't mind it so much. However, if I don't feel right about where the person is coming from then I ignore the request and go on about my business. I don't think that is hypocritical nor do I think it is rude. My intuition is my rudder, and I owe it to myself to pay attention to it; it keeps me safe.

I've been around a long time, and I feel pretty good about the way I navigate these boards. I don't think I'm an expert nor do I think my way is the best way; I'm also not given to offering unsolicited advice. But if you don't mind me saying it, I recommend not giving people who rub you the wrong way ANY of your energy. If you feel the poster is trying to get a rise out of you, don't give 'em one. That really is the best revenge, in my opinion.

Now I'm not saying HG is guilty of anything here, but I am saying that something about that post didn't feel right to me so I opted to pass it on by. If I was off base.......well......I've been off before. No harm, no foul as far as I'm concerned.

*Anya* · 09-11-2011, 06:45 PM

I want to thank all of you for your very honest answers. I would have asked them, perhaps differently; but had some of the same questions myself.

One time, when I first joined the planet, I simply stated that I did not understand self-identified lesbians dating trans individuals because it was out of my frame of reference. I was immediately flamed. It was very, very upsetting to me. I even explained that I was partnered with a butch lesbian for 19 years and all of our friends were lesbians and that I simply had never been exposed to gender concepts. All of you must understand that there have been light-year changes in gender, trans and the lesbian community in almost 20 years of time. We lived a very vanilla life which probably had a part in it too.

It was not a trans or male-identified person that flamed me but I did not want to blunder again and the experience made me afraid to ever even bring up anything about gender again or any questions I may have had. I also would never deliberately hurt anyone's feelings. It is just not me.

I can only speak for myself but I am very appreciative to have gained some knowledge and insight I did not have before. Thank you.

Peace,

09-11-2011, 06:07 PM	#1
Thinker Senior Member How Do You Identify?: transman Preferred Pronoun?: male Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Texas Posts: 1,868 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 710 Thanked 4,133 Times in 1,079 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	Posting as a member...not as a moderator... I think the fact that Hunter Green has not returned to stay involved in this particular conversation is telling. I admit that I was suspicious of her intentions which is why I opted not to take the time I know it takes to thoroughly and thoughtfully answer those types of questions. Unlike some, I do think we owe it to each other to educate others (both in and out of this community). I know some don't like that role, but I don't mind it so much. However, if I don't feel right about where the person is coming from then I ignore the request and go on about my business. I don't think that is hypocritical nor do I think it is rude. My intuition is my rudder, and I owe it to myself to pay attention to it; it keeps me safe. I've been around a long time, and I feel pretty good about the way I navigate these boards. I don't think I'm an expert nor do I think my way is the best way; I'm also not given to offering unsolicited advice. But if you don't mind me saying it, I recommend not giving people who rub you the wrong way ANY of your energy. If you feel the poster is trying to get a rise out of you, don't give 'em one. That really is the best revenge, in my opinion. Now I'm not saying HG is guilty of anything here, but I am saying that something about that post didn't feel right to me so I opted to pass it on by. If I was off base.......well......I've been off before. No harm, no foul as far as I'm concerned. __________________ Practice humility and kindness.

09-11-2011, 06:45 PM	#2
Anya Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Lesbian non-stone femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, her Relationship Status: Committed to being good to myself Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: West Coast Posts: 8,258 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 39,306 Thanked 40,443 Times in 7,285 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	I want to thank all of you for your very honest answers. I would have asked them, perhaps differently; but had some of the same questions myself. One time, when I first joined the planet, I simply stated that I did not understand self-identified lesbians dating trans individuals because it was out of my frame of reference. I was immediately flamed. It was very, very upsetting to me. I even explained that I was partnered with a butch lesbian for 19 years and all of our friends were lesbians and that I simply had never been exposed to gender concepts. All of you must understand that there have been light-year changes in gender, trans and the lesbian community in almost 20 years of time. We lived a very vanilla life which probably had a part in it too. It was not a trans or male-identified person that flamed me but I did not want to blunder again and the experience made me afraid to ever even bring up anything about gender again or any questions I may have had. I also would never deliberately hurt anyone's feelings. It is just not me. I can only speak for myself but I am very appreciative to have gained some knowledge and insight I did not have before. Thank you. Peace, __________________ ~Anya~ Democracy Dies in Darkness ~Washington Post "...I'm deeply concerned by recently adopted policies which punish children for their parents’ actions ... The thought that any State would seek to deter parents by inflicting such abuse on children is unconscionable." UN Human Rights commissioner