Singles dating: online VS real world?

[Glenn]

After years of being in real relationships, I actually prefer online ones. I once dated, married, made love to, argued, and divorced a femme thousands of miles away for nearly three years all online. I did'nt speak more than a paragraph, or have to spend anything. or go anywhere. I did'nt have to do anything. In fact, it was the best relationship I ever had!

[Just_G]

Most of the women I meet are met online. I had a policy for years that if you lived within a 100 mile radius of me, I would not date you. I am leaning back towards that, but it is hard with the cost of travelling these days.

As far as blind dates go...hell to the NO! My friends always think that since I am gay and their friend is gay, that we would be the perfect couple! That makes me queasy just thinking about the ignorance behind that kind of thought process! My friends think that I would like the sporty/jock type of girl because that is how they see me....wrong again!! I am not sporty/jock...I am butch. I also don't care for the softball playing, typical androgenous lesbian. No offense to those of you that like them or are one...I just don't prefer to date them. So, back to the topic: No, absolutely NO BLIND DATES!! (unless of course it is set up by one of my BFP friends...they know exactly how I like 'em! )

Would I go out with someone that dated someone I knew? No. I have a hard time dating locals because the pond here is so small. I don't like the gossip that comes along with that whole package. "Did you hear what she did to so-and-so?" Nor do I like people knowing my business when I date someone, i.e. things that happen behind closed doors.

I think that both meeting people on line and meeting people in person have their advantages. Meeting them online, I tend to get to know them a little bit better and know more about them prior to meeting. Meeting them in person, I know right away if there is that physical chemistry and I can read their body language to know if they might be interested.

I was with a woman I met through a butch/femme singles site, she lived 3 hours away and we saw each other like every other weekend. It was the best relationship I have ever had. I had my space to work and do things in my hula hoop, and she had time to spend with her kids and take care of her hula hoop, then when we would get together, we didn't have to worry about anything but spending time together. It worked wonderfully for both of us!

[pajama]

I have gone out with lots of people I met through online dating sights. Some were nuts, most were not. Met one of the most wonderful people that way, my ex-wife. But I haven't ventured back into dating sights for over 8 years, just 'cause I do fine without them. And quite frankly, I don't sustain relationships worth a crap, so I'm not going to put the work into meeting someone through a sight that is required just to have it end a few months later.

I have never been on a blind date, but would be open to it. Might not meet a mate, but might meet a new friend. So sure, why not?

I would/have dated someone that dated someone I knew. Good lord, I have tons of friends. This would seriously curtail the posibilities if I didn't date someone who dated someone I KNEW. Now would I date an ex's ex, or a best friends ex. Possibly not.

For me, I prefer meeting people in person so I can work my magic.

[SugarLips]

*Do you (or would you) go out with someone you met online, such as from a dating site, chat room, BFP, etc.? (this can be local or long distance or both) Yes I have and would do it again. Both local and long distance (although I think it's harder to have a long distance relationship in general)

*Do you go out on blind dates? (set up by friends, co-workers) I did once and I will NEVER do it again. However, I am more than willing to have an arranged meeting within a group setting. This way there is no pressure on either of us.

*Would you go out with someone who has dated someone you know? Probably not. I haven't so far. I tend to have a "circle of friends" policy that I just don't break.

*Which do you think is better: meeting and dating people from an online source, or meeting and dating people you meet in real life? I think each has their pros and cons. You can be taken in by a scumbag just as easily if you meet them in real life as you can meeting them online... And you can just as easily meet some amazing people online as you can in real life.

[LaneyDoll]

*Do you (or would you) go out with someone you met online, such as from a dating site, chat room, BFP, etc.? (this can be local or long distance or both)
Yes. I have met people online that I dated or fell in love with or dated but realized we were better as friends.


*Do you go out on blind dates? (set up by friends, co-workers)
No. I think it is a bad idea. My mom once secretly arranged for me to meet someone. I was supposed to meet her and she had them waiting. The problems were numerous. 1. It was a man. 2. He was in overalls. 3. He was in overalls knowing he was supposed to meet someone. 4. He barely talked to me anyway. 5. He was in overalls knowing he was supposed to meet someone he could be set up with. (Nothing against overalls but come on, I do not want to meet you for the first time and you look like you are going hunting or plowing a field.


*Would you go out with someone who has dated someone you know?
Yes. Assuming they ended things because they just did not match. I have dated someone that I was better friends with but who would have been perfect for another friend. But I do not arrange meetings/blind dates etc.


*Which do you think is better: meeting and dating people from an online source, or meeting and dating people you meet in real life?
For me, probably online. I find it hard to meet other people. I have been told that I am intimidating. But that is my fault. Since my fave alt bar does not get busy until late, I go from the dungeon. Leather corset, leather skirt, super high heels and full blown femme mode equates that the only people who talk to me are the cute little gay boys who want to pet me. I probably look like the most unapproachable person there.

You would think that I would learn-lol.

[sara-bera]

I have dated people from all different places online, many times.

I've been set up on a couple blind dates, but I don't really care for it.

I'm not sure if I'd go out with someone who's dated another person I know. The circumstances haven't occurred yet. I think it would depend on the situation and the people involved.

Which is better... well, I really prefer meeting people in person, but that happens very rarely. I'm painfully shy (though I've been working on it) and just a little bit old fashioned (I prefer the masculine/butch half of the equation makes the first move) so I tend to meet people online more often.

I'm afraid online dating is a bit challenging at times. I'm trusting and that allows me to be easily fooled, if the pursuant is of that ilk. I'm learning to be a little more careful and that it's not 'demanding' of me to want to talk to someone on the phone or see a recent picture of them. I don't like to be pushy or aggressive, but I do need to be a little more realistic and make requests, at the very least, when I'm getting to know someone.

That being said, the internet has been a really useful tool to meet people. I've made lots of friends, even a couple that I see prett y regularly. And you never really know where you will find love if you're open to the possibilities!

[JAGG]

Originally Posted by popcorninthesofa

After years of being in real relationships, I actually prefer online ones. I once dated, married, made love to, argued, and divorced a femme thousands of miles away for nearly three years all online. I did'nt speak more than a paragraph, or have to spend anything. or go anywhere. I did'nt have to do anything. In fact, it was the best relationship I ever had!

Wait what???

[clay]

me, too...Jagg!

Originally Posted by JAGG

Wait what???

[SugarLips]

Me three!....

[clay]

*Do you (or would you) go out with someone you met online, such as from a dating site, chat room, BFP, etc.? (this can be local or long distance or both) I did, I have, and I will....My last partner & I met in the OLD w4w chat room...and we were together for 15 years!!! As some others have posted...you can find good both IRL and Online! Same goes with "bad apples".
*Do you go out on blind dates? (set up by friends, co-workers)
I have gone on blind dates....many, many years ago. I am just not into that now...but mine was a positive experience.

*Would you go out with someone who has dated someone you know?
Probably not if they had "dated" that person, but would consider it, if I were in that situation.


*Which do you think is better: meeting and dating people from an online source, or meeting and dating people you meet in real life?
I have had just as much positive from both venues...so can't say one or the other wins out. Both have their pros and cons. Online and LDR affords you to get better acquainted at a slower, more relaxed pace...and IRL allows you to actually see them in the flesh. Online, I tend to agree with some other posters, you get a "feel" for them more realistically in their written words as opposed to their spoken words. There is just something mystical, magical about, and having the the luxury of, reading their words, at your time and pace, and digesting..and being able to peruse them frequently..as oppsoed to IRL, spoken..you hear them then, and later try to recall what was said...online you have a digest to look at, so to speak. I can actually "feel" someone's energy in written words...someone had said in another thread, about how can you "fall in love" online...while I agree with that, for me, my love has many layers. I can feel love..and express that...no, I am NOT saying I am IN LOVE to them, I am sharing a level of love I have for them...be it their soul..their personality, or their words..or their actions...no two of us are alike, so what one may see, feel, etc...another may not..that is the beauty of the human race..we are each one UNIQUE! Love starts as a small seedling..and is nurtured, tended, and fed..so it can grow over time..and "time" to one is not the same to another...I happen to be one of those people who feels love...in so many forms, and am not afraid to share it. I OWN that one, and am proud of it. I tend to let go of the "negatives" and focus on the goodness, the positives...so....have a grand evening, everyone!

[DapperButch]

*Do you (or would you) go out with someone you met online, such as from a dating site, chat room, BFP, etc.? (this can be local or long distance or both).

Since the 90's this has been my usual way of "meeting" people to date (personal ads...not web sites). I find you can sift through people quickly this way. I don't do long distance and always date within a 30 mile radius (except maybe once or twice).


*Do you go out on blind dates? (set up by friends, co-workers)
Yep. Current partner is from a blind date!


*Would you go out with someone who has dated someone you know?
Nope. Never.

*Which do you think is better: meeting and dating people from an online source, or meeting and dating people you meet in real life?
None is better than the other.

[Julie]

Originally Posted by popcorninthesofa

After years of being in real relationships, I actually prefer online ones. I once dated, married, made love to, argued, and divorced a femme thousands of miles away for nearly three years all online. I did'nt speak more than a paragraph, or have to spend anything. or go anywhere. I did'nt have to do anything. In fact, it was the best relationship I ever had!

How do you make love to someone online?
Serious?
Or are you just speaking phone, video, cyber?
And how do marry them?
Are you being sarcastic - because my head is spinning!!!

[Julie]

*Do you (or would you) go out with someone you met online, such as from a dating site, chat room, BFP, etc.? (this can be local or long distance or both)
I am currently in a LDR with someone I met online. It has been almost 2 years!

*Do you go out on blind dates? (set up by friends, co-workers)
I have been on one blind date and it lasted 7 years.

*Would you go out with someone who has dated someone you know?
Someone I know or Someone who was in a relationship with them? YES to someone I know - MAYBE to someone who previously was with them. Depends on my relationship with the Someone. If it is a good friend, absolutely NOT!

*Which do you think is better: meeting and dating people from an online source, or meeting and dating people you meet in real life?
I have had both and I cannot say one is better than the other. It really depends on the person you are dating.

I am also really quirky when it comes to online relationships. Dreamer and I have been seeing one another for almost two years. I just don't understand how people can say they are IN LOVE and in a relationship, when they have never met. How can you know, when you have never shared physical energy. I know love can be BIG for some people, but I am fairly literal in every sense. I do not consider phone sex to be sex, as the same way as sharing your physical body with another. It took me well over a year of admitting to myself and others, that I was even in a relationship. Even though, we had spent time together physically and I love this person. We are not together full time, and so it is hard for me to understand. Even though my relationship was committed. I hope that makes sense. I just have a hard time grasping the idea of online (I am in love with you and we have never met) relationships.

Julie

[DapperButch]

Originally Posted by Julie

[B] I just don't understand how people can say they are IN LOVE and in a relationship, when they have never met. How can you know, when you have never shared physical energy. Julie

I concur! Not even the relationship or in love thing.... I think it is even weird for people to say they are "dating" before they meet.

What the heck?

[SugarLips]

Originally Posted by DapperButch

I concur! Not even the relationship or in love thing.... I think it is even weird for people to say they are "dating" before they meet.

What the heck?

I think you can be committed to a person before you actually meet them... That to me would be dating. Maybe not your traditional dinner and a movie kind of dating... But you can still get to know a person (sometimes more so) online just as you can in person. Which is all that dating is anyway.

Not sure if I could go as far as getting married online without meeting the person in real life... but I certainly won't invalidate what someone else perceives as a "marriage" for them.

[Nadeest]

I've gone out both with people that I've met online and through blind dates. I haven't been out with someone that one of my friends have dated, however. I think that both methods have possibilities, but I probably tend to be more wary when meeting people for the first time, when I have met them online.

[DapperButch]

Originally Posted by SugarLips

I think you can be committed to a person before you actually meet them... That to me would be dating. Maybe not your traditional dinner and a movie kind of dating... But you can still get to know a person (sometimes more so) online just as you can in person. Which is all that dating is anyway.

Not sure if I could go as far as getting married online without meeting the person in real life... but I certainly won't invalidate what someone else perceives as a "marriage" for them.

Yes, I agree. I can be "committed" to someone (that is as simple as not seeing anyone else), but I think that I have to meet someone first in order to "date" them. Half of the image one has of a person prior to meeting them (even if they talk 50 times a day on skype), is what they create in their own mind as to who they perceive/want the person to be.

[JAGG]

Originally Posted by DapperButch

Yes, I agree. I can be "committed" to someone (that is as simple as not seeing anyone else), but I think that I have to meet someone first in order to "date" them. Half of the image one has of a person prior to meeting them (even if they talk 50 times a day on skype), is what they create in their own mind as to who they perceive/want the person to be.

I agree, you have to meet someone before you can call it dating. Otherwise, you're just TALKING.

[ruffryder]

Originally Posted by popcorninthesofa

After years of being in real relationships, I actually prefer online ones. I once dated, married, made love to, argued, and divorced a femme thousands of miles away for nearly three years all online. I did'nt speak more than a paragraph, or have to spend anything. or go anywhere. I did'nt have to do anything. In fact, it was the best relationship I ever had!

I can get some of this, but the speaking not more than a paragraph in 3 years?? .. and argued?

Sounds like one of those sex sites or maybe second life.. oh hell yeah those types of relationships are bomb. Is this what you are referring to?

I thought you said the "best relationship I never had." :/ Please explain how this is possible if you don't mind or are you being silly?