What do you hope to see (and bring to) in a new relationship?

Gayla · 09-25-2011, 02:33 PM

Yes, we all have baggage and history and all that comes with just existing in the world. To expect that someone wouldn't have that is unreasonable at best, completely deluded at worst.

For someone who is single, and looking within this community, I think it's prudent to attempt some kind of balance when posting. At least be aware of the types of stuff that you are posting and the impression that you may be giving. I think that if someone is interested, there is a pretty good expectation that they will thread stalk you and read back over old posts. Will they see someone who is engaged with the community, having fun, making friends, etc. Or, will they see posts full of drama and angst and desperation?

I doubt that any of us can ever truly know how we are perceived online but I think the important part is that we present ourselves in as honest of a way as we can. Although that does not mean I have to post a picture of what my hair looks like when I first wake up in the morning!

The_Lady_Snow · 09-25-2011, 02:40 PM

The great thing about this type of online getting to know folks is if you are interested in someone, you can read them their words and see their online interactions, likes, dislikes, political and religious views and so on and so on. If one is transparent here then when you do get fortunate enough for it to become one on one communicating you know what you are getting, and then it blooms into either a relationship of love, friendship, kinship, or just someone you chit chat every so often here or there. I say have fun with it be super careful and enjoy! Good Luck!

JustJo · 09-25-2011, 04:16 PM

Interesting thread APG

Like others have said, I think being honest is the most important thing; it lets others know who I am...let's me know who they are...and then we have a foundation for friendship or more or not.

I don't expect others to be perfect, or baggage free. Goodness knows I'm not!

Personally, someone who presented themselves as perfect, or who expected me to be, would be a huge red flag. Life isn't perfect, or even easy...and some times it's less easy than others. For me, the measure of a friendship, or a relationship, is not only how well do we do when things are easy and fun, but how well do we do when the shit hits the fan.

Having said that, what Gayla says is also true. If every single thing that someone posts is drama-filled or negative or "help me, I can't cope" or desperate....then that's a big red flag for me. Regular, healthy people (I think) have good days and bad ones, easy days and hard ones, funny moments and sad moments and brilliant moments and goofy moments....that's what keeps life interesting.

09-25-2011, 02:40 PM	#2
The_Lady_Snow MILLION $$$ PUSSY How Do You Identify?: Kinky, Raw, Perverted, Uber Queer Alpha Femme Preferred Pronoun?: Iconic Ms. Relationship Status: Keeper of 3, only one has the map to my freckles Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: La Reina del Sur Posts: 22,488 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 32,231 Thanked 80,080 Times in 15,669 Posts Rep Power: 21474874	The great thing about this type of online getting to know folks is if you are interested in someone, you can read them their words and see their online interactions, likes, dislikes, political and religious views and so on and so on. If one is transparent here then when you do get fortunate enough for it to become one on one communicating you know what you are getting, and then it blooms into either a relationship of love, friendship, kinship, or just someone you chit chat every so often here or there. I say have fun with it be super careful and enjoy! Good Luck! __________________ "If you’re going to play these dirty games of ours, then you might as well indulge completely. It’s all about turning back into an animal and that’s the beauty of it. Place your guilt on the sidewalk and take a blow torch to it (guilt is usually worthless anyway). Be perverted, be filthy, do things that mannered people shouldn’t do. If you’re going to be gross then go for it and don’t wimp out."---Master Aiden

09-25-2011, 04:16 PM	#3
JustJo Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: pushy broad Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: Follow your heart; it knows things your mind cannot explain. Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Southeast corner Posts: 5,633 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 24,417 Thanked 25,406 Times in 4,660 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	Interesting thread APG Like others have said, I think being honest is the most important thing; it lets others know who I am...let's me know who they are...and then we have a foundation for friendship or more or not. I don't expect others to be perfect, or baggage free. Goodness knows I'm not! Personally, someone who presented themselves as perfect, or who expected me to be, would be a huge red flag. Life isn't perfect, or even easy...and some times it's less easy than others. For me, the measure of a friendship, or a relationship, is not only how well do we do when things are easy and fun, but how well do we do when the shit hits the fan. Having said that, what Gayla says is also true. If every single thing that someone posts is drama-filled or negative or "help me, I can't cope" or desperate....then that's a big red flag for me. Regular, healthy people (I think) have good days and bad ones, easy days and hard ones, funny moments and sad moments and brilliant moments and goofy moments....that's what keeps life interesting. __________________ I'm not tall enough to ride emotional roller coasters

09-25-2011, 02:33 PM	#1
Gayla Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Kinky Butch Top Preferred Pronoun?: I'm not picky Relationship Status: She makes me dance like a fool and forget how to breathe. Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: SF CA Posts: 3,229 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 877 Thanked 7,077 Times in 1,966 Posts Rep Power: 0	Yes, we all have baggage and history and all that comes with just existing in the world. To expect that someone wouldn't have that is unreasonable at best, completely deluded at worst. For someone who is single, and looking within this community, I think it's prudent to attempt some kind of balance when posting. At least be aware of the types of stuff that you are posting and the impression that you may be giving. I think that if someone is interested, there is a pretty good expectation that they will thread stalk you and read back over old posts. Will they see someone who is engaged with the community, having fun, making friends, etc. Or, will they see posts full of drama and angst and desperation? I doubt that any of us can ever truly know how we are perceived online but I think the important part is that we present ourselves in as honest of a way as we can. Although that does not mean I have to post a picture of what my hair looks like when I first wake up in the morning!