So what does being Bisexual, mean to you ?

[citybutch]

There are ways I agree with you... kind of.

Laws are impartial. The legal thing to do in any given situation is black and white. Stealing for example is illegal... there is no difference in terms of the law that what you are doing is legal or illegal. A murderer is as much operating outside the law as someone who shoplifts. It is merely the level of punishment that will differ. Both a murderer and someone who steals is operating outside the law. What may be legal behavior may not be moral. What is moral behavior is always legal.

Ethical or moral behavior, on the other hand is far more blurred and far LESS black and white. What may be legal behavior may not (and sometimes IS not) ethical or moral behavior. Ethical/Moral behavior is behavior that we would want to be above and beyond legal behavior. For our society for some it is based on the Golden Rule. Do unto others as you would have others do unto you... or even higher, place the needs and concerns of others above your own. This can be open to interpretation. In fact, sometimes two different can come to different solutions based on one's moral universe or moral compass.

Originally Posted by Miss Tick

Morality is a difficult thing to discuss really. Personal morality is by definition a personal choice. However, the reality is that if you believe yourself to be an ethical person then your response to a situation will be you doing the right or moral thing. Therefore anyone else confronted with the same situation would invariably make the same choice. To claim to not make the rules or to define morality for anyone else is just a way of not accepting this responsibility.

If it is okay for you to cheat, lie, steal or whatever under a certain set of circumstances then it is okay for the other to do the same under the same conditions. To me the measure of morality is that it is impartial.

If it is a logical right thinking choice for you in a situation, then in the same situation it is the logical right thinking choice for other reasonable people as well. Morality should be defined impartially.

The other necessary component for personal morality is equal respect for the humanity of all persons. Not equal respect for everyone in everyway. Just equal respect for the humanity of all.

[Cin]

Originally Posted by citybutch

There are ways I agree with you... kind of.

Laws are impartial. The legal thing to do in any given situation is black and white. Stealing for example is illegal... there is no difference in terms of the law that what you are doing is legal or illegal. A murderer is as much operating outside the law as someone who shoplifts. It is merely the level of punishment that will differ. Both a murderer and someone who steals is operating outside the law. What may be legal behavior may not be moral. What is moral behavior is always legal.

Ethical or moral behavior, on the other hand is far more blurred and far LESS black and white. What may be legal behavior may not (and sometimes IS not) ethical or moral behavior. Ethical/Moral behavior is behavior that we would want to be above and beyond legal behavior. For our society for some it is based on the Golden Rule. Do unto others as you would have others do unto you... or even higher, place the needs and concerns of others above your own. This can be open to interpretation. In fact, sometimes two different can come to different solutions based on one's moral universe or moral compass.

I agree with you to a point.

Laws may be impartial but often, quite often, their implementation is not.

So I guess we could do with a bit more equity on that front.

You said, “What may be legal behavior may not be moral. What is moral behavior is always legal.” How can that be? If you have legal behavior that is not moral then anyone engaging in that legal behavior is engaging in behavior that is immoral. Conversely if they refuse to engage in that legal behavior that is immoral then their behavior is illegal while being moral.

But even if you are only referring to the sometimes immoral behavior of some in the legal profession when you say legal behavior may not be moral, I’m still not sure that moral behavior is always legal. Laws are laws but they are not always moral. Hence disobeying them may be unlawful but not necessarily immoral. As a matter of fact I would go so far as to say in some cases disobeying certain laws is the only moral course of action. Certainly we can find historical precedent for this. I’m also equally sure with little effort we can find immoral laws on the books right now. Isn’t obeying immoral laws both legal and immoral? While disobeying them is both illegal and moral?

I suppose we can also look at motivation for certain crimes. Murder can never be the ethical choice, except when it is. And I guess we can all come up with scenarios where killing someone whose continued life would mean terrible things for so many is worth, at least, contemplating this moral dilemma. Stealing is illegal and someone who steals is operating outside the law, but when you need to feed your family what can you do. Who is morally bankrupt, the person who steals to feed his children or the society who promotes an ideology that would create situations where a human being must decide between becoming a criminal or allowing his children to go hungry?

I really believe that if the measuring stick a person uses to judge their actions and choices is equity, meaning the action or choice you are making is one you would be comfortable with everyone and anyone choosing, then you will most likely make a choice that has equal respect for the humanity of all.

However, I see quite clearly that my post has fallen far from the topic of this thread and I pledge that my next post here will be about bisexuality exclusively. I mean it will be about bisexuality only. My experience with it I mean.

[Cin]

I lived with a women for six years who identified as bisexual. She always said that she loved the person and not the gender. She was attracted to both men and women, although her attraction surrounding women was restricted to those with a masculine presentation. For her, it was simply about whoever she fell in love with. She preferred monogamy and did not need both men and women in her life sexually at the same time.

She left me for a man. This threw me. It also forced me to confront some deep-seated issues. I became a better person because of that experience. Then she became involved with another woman. Threw me again she did. She married that woman and is still with her today. But when she went back with a woman I discovered some more issues I needed to work through. Apparently I have a number of issues. Fortunately she provided me with a unique opportunity to examine some deep-seated prejudices. I had to decide if I was ready to move past some of my less than useful beliefs as well as some of the biases that I had not been completely aware I carried. I did grow a lot because of this experience.

I’m not saying that involvement with someone who is bisexual will afford you an opportunity to grow as a person. Although it will, as will any relationship. I’m just saying I am grateful for the experience I had with this person. I found her to be one of the most honorable people I ever met. Her bisexuality was just a feature of who she was, like being a femme, or like her blonde hair and her blue eyes, or her honesty.

On another note, I have no problem with negotiated poly or open relationships. I have been involved in both in my life. But I would have a big problem if an open or poly relationship was being, for lack of a better word, DONE to me without my knowledge. It hurts just thinking about it.

[*Anya*]

Honor and integrity are the opposite of cheating or dishonesty.

Regardless of the sex/gender/identity/orientation, for me, the golden rule applies.

Tell me what you need, where your head and heart are at and allow me the choice to decide if I can live with it and accept it. If we can not negotiate or are in completely different places, I need to be given the choice to stay or to go.

For my soul and ability to live with myself (or with another), it really is just that simple. I am flexible about virtually everything in my life. Relationships to work, must have that as a core.

Honesty and truth about fidelity are not negotiable. That is a value of mine that I will never apologize for.

[imperfect_cupcake]

interesting question. I named myself bisexual from the age of 14 until the age of 27. previously, I had been sexually active with both sexes since I was about 10 (not full on fucking, I mean sexual).

Bisexuality, to me, in my barb self-naming universe, means being able to have long term relationships and to be in love with two or more sexes.

Being able to love and romantically realate only one sex, but have sex with two, to me is not bisexuality. That's heteroflexible or homoflexible. A lot of people are that way.

When I first ID'd as a dyke, I was told, quite bluntly, I was a "lesbian ID'd bisexual" and I was "a dime a dozen" (cheap and common, that's me! ) which hurt, because it the close friend who had been telling me for about 5 years that I wasn't a bi, I was a dyke. I think she expected me to "go butch" |(she said she always saw me as a butch dyke wanting to break free. well, I wish I had flipper and wings too. oh well.) and when I went femtastic, she was pissed off.

I don't see it as a sex thing. that's a different classification in my head. people can be hetero or homo flexible to varying degrees. depends on how flexible you are lol. But bisexuality - in my dictionary - involves *presently* as in, right now, havign the capacity or capability to fall in love with men or women. I don't care if they could 25 years ago, many people's sexuality is not for life, many people's shift over time (NOT EVERYONES m'kay? Mine did. I was never latently lesbian. I fell in love - head over heels with men and women. Now I don't think I could if my life depended on it. And I have zero interest in men's willies except as an aesthetic in porn. But not in real life, ta - only the kind inhabited by dyke dick).

Many of my mates were shades of heteroflexible, and some genuinely bisexual. A few were homoflexible on the less flexible end of that scale (they once in a very blue moon had sex with a gay male friend or they liked to strap on and fuck men for the odd kink thrill in a kinkclub)

I personally like the divisions between homo/heteroflexible and bisexual. I personally believe it give far more people room and credit.

[MsMerrick]

Originally Posted by honeybarbara

i
Bisexuality, to me, in my barb self-naming universe, means being able to have long term relationships and to be in love with two or more sexes.

Being able to love and romantically realate only one sex, but have sex with two, to me is not bisexuality. That's heteroflexible or homoflexible. A lot of people are that way.

................................................

I don't see it as a sex thing. that's a different classification in my head. people can be hetero or homo flexible to varying degrees. depends on how flexible you are lol. But bisexuality - in my dictionary - involves *presently* as in, right now, havign the capacity or capability to fall in love with men or women. I don't care if they could 25 years ago, many people's sexuality is not for life, many people's shift over time (NOT EVERYONES m'kay? Mine did. I was never latently lesbian. I fell in love - head over heels with men and women. Now I don't think I could if my life depended on it. And I have zero interest in men's willies except as an aesthetic in porn. But not in real life, ta - only the kind inhabited by dyke dick).

Many of my mates were shades of heteroflexible, and some genuinely bisexual. A few were homoflexible on the less flexible end of that scale (they once in a very blue moon had sex with a gay male friend or they liked to strap on and fuck men for the odd kink thrill in a kinkclub)

I personally like the divisions between homo/heteroflexible and bisexual. I personally believe it give far more people room and credit.

Thank you I think you may have been the only person who actually answered/gave your opinion , with detail and specificity, my original question ! Thanks !
I don't know if I agree or not, but you certainly gave me some ideas to chew on ...Not a big shock there..

[MsMerrick]

Btw, I didn't mean or want to minimize all of you, who posted your lives and tales, I did enjoy them all ; )