National Coming Out Day 10/11! What's Your Story?

[LeftWriteFemme]

Today I was teasing the owner of the gallery where my work is represented, telling her that if it weren't for the fact that I'm gay and she's straight I would rub her til all her lupus pain went away......we both laughed. Then she said, "Oh isn't today National Coming Out Day?" and we laughed and laughed some more....she is one of those cool straight people. It's been a nice coming out day

[Starbuck]

Last November I came out to my dad first, he took it rather awkwardly, which is how I expected him to. Later I told my mother; she said she was not surprised and that she'd told my dad when I went into the Army she thought I was a Lesbian.

Fast forward almost a year and my dad and I have gotten into some pretty bad arguments about me letting his family know because he said it was an embarrassment to him (the stuff on FB he said). I tend to think he's just embarrassed of me, oh well...his loss. I'm still waiting on the shit to hit the fan on this one!

But today being NCOD 2011, I took the opportunity to share my lesbian status with the rest of the family that I'm connected to on FB. I've not received any messages from them and quite frankly I don't expect to. I have, however, received accepting and supportive messages from other FB friends. My post included the fact that if my declaration cost me family or friends, so be it, we
weren't true family or friends in the first place, but that I still loved them. I am out to my husband, I just wish some things were different at the moment. I keep telling myself that the grass on the other side of the fence may not be as green as it looks and so I'm afraid of upsetting the status quo. I just need more time to get things sorted out in my head first. Wish me luck!

[Gráinne]

I decided to come out to my best friend, who lives in another state and who I thought had no clue what I was doing on a B-F site, or any lesbian site for that matter. Up to then, I'd told her everything that was going on, and this felt like a whole secret life.

I said, "K, I have something to tell you. I realized I am gay". She answered, "I thought so all these years (45 years of friendship!), but didn't want to pry". K is devoutly Catholic, and I'm Jewish, but that and my being gay doesn't make one iota of difference.

When I started attending the synagogue I go to now, I wanted to tell the rabbi so that if he had some objection, he could get it out and I could keep searching. I said, "There's something you need to know. I'm..not straight". His answer? "I knew that's what you were going to say". I found later I wasn't alone.

[Soft*Silver]

I came out, differently, this year. I had pidgeon holed myself into categories that I thought were flexible but were really just substitutes for other rigid labels I was born into. I think over the years, I just wore my labels down like you do leather..rub and rub and rub until the hardness softens..(my name!)...and what comes along eventually is something so much easier to wear.

[princessbelle]

I came out to my mom first because she is nosey and i knew she would pick up on it anyway. My longtime partner had lived as my roommate for just a couple of weeks. It was not good. My mom is a Southern Baptist Republican and wears each one of those titles to her core. I was disowned and written out of her will and she did not speak to me for 6 months. When she figured out she needed me, she called and we talked. That was 12 years ago. She still don't really "get it" but i'm her daughter again and back in her will and good graces. She is also kind to my partners and treats them like family. She's come a long way.

Coming out to my kids was way easier. I waited about a year till they were 13 and 16. Until then they just saw my partner as our roommate and we did not show SOA in front of them. My youngest, middle of the road republican son didn't like it but just basically chose to ignor it. My oldest, liberal democratic son, said he knew it and was proud. He had a shirt that said "my mom is gay and i'm proud of her". I was particular about where he wore that...lol.

I've came out increasingly over the years to my friends and specific people at work including my boss who is wonderful and accepting. My aunts/uncles and the like have no clue. I will probably keep it that way.

My brother knew before he passed and was fine with it. My father passed prior to me coming out to myself but i know his princess could do no wrong and is smiling down on me and my life.

It takes a lot of time, often, for family members to come around. I try and convey that with every opportunity that i get when i know younger people are coming out to their family.

Just give them the info....give it a few months to sink in and don't take their confusion and disappointment to heart. Most of the time, things change.

[Hollylane]

A few weeks ago, I came out to a very religious male co-worker...He said,

"God loves diversity"

I said,

"I'm pretty certain God loves you for realizing that"

Sweet!

[Tawse]

My coming out was rather traumatic lol.

I was 21 at the time (1991) - unemployed and living part time with my mom and part time with a really good friend whom I considered my older sister.

I had the realization that I was in love with one of my best friends, and she with I... we decided to act on those feelings after an all night conversation about the ramifications etc. We decided to keep it to ourselves until we grew comfortable with the situation.

Three days later my mom found a letter we had exchanged, one that was actually completely innocent - but she read everything into it and confronted me.

Now when I say confronted I should clarify. She lured me would be more accurate. For 3 hours she talked about how if I were in a relationship with Kimm I should just tell her, it was no big deal, etc etc Finally I caved and admitted it.

She exploded. For the rest of the evening she yelled and screamed. Called my really good friend who I lived with part time - and told her. (she ended up kicking me out). The next day she called my Kimm's parents and told them.

Kimm and I were semi long distance. I lived in Atlanta and she went to college about 2 hours out - and her parents lived 2 hours out on the completely opposite side of the city. This was a good thing as her father threatened to shoot me if I came near their house again. (I didn't for quite a while, opting instead to visit her at college)

My mom called me an abomination, said she wished she'd had an abortion - and everything else she could think of to sling at me.

It was a shit storm for close to a year...



Fast forward to about 9 years ago. My younger brother came out. Since then my mom has thought being gay is just uber cool and the best thing since sliced bread.


I guess you take it where you can get it.


And as everyone else has stated - that is just one story... slightly traumatic lol