National Coming Out Day 10/11! What's Your Story?

princessbelle · 10-12-2011, 05:33 AM

I came out to my mom first because she is nosey and i knew she would pick up on it anyway. My longtime partner had lived as my roommate for just a couple of weeks. It was not good. My mom is a Southern Baptist Republican and wears each one of those titles to her core. I was disowned and written out of her will and she did not speak to me for 6 months. When she figured out she needed me, she called and we talked. That was 12 years ago. She still don't really "get it" but i'm her daughter again and back in her will and good graces. She is also kind to my partners and treats them like family. She's come a long way.

Coming out to my kids was way easier. I waited about a year till they were 13 and 16. Until then they just saw my partner as our roommate and we did not show SOA in front of them. My youngest, middle of the road republican son didn't like it but just basically chose to ignor it. My oldest, liberal democratic son, said he knew it and was proud. He had a shirt that said "my mom is gay and i'm proud of her". I was particular about where he wore that...lol.

I've came out increasingly over the years to my friends and specific people at work including my boss who is wonderful and accepting. My aunts/uncles and the like have no clue. I will probably keep it that way.

My brother knew before he passed and was fine with it. My father passed prior to me coming out to myself but i know his princess could do no wrong and is smiling down on me and my life.

It takes a lot of time, often, for family members to come around. I try and convey that with every opportunity that i get when i know younger people are coming out to their family.

Just give them the info....give it a few months to sink in and don't take their confusion and disappointment to heart. Most of the time, things change.

Hollylane · 10-12-2011, 10:44 AM

A few weeks ago, I came out to a very religious male co-worker...He said,

"God loves diversity"

I said,

"I'm pretty certain God loves you for realizing that"

Sweet!

Tawse · 10-12-2011, 11:52 AM

My coming out was rather traumatic lol.

I was 21 at the time (1991) - unemployed and living part time with my mom and part time with a really good friend whom I considered my older sister.

I had the realization that I was in love with one of my best friends, and she with I... we decided to act on those feelings after an all night conversation about the ramifications etc. We decided to keep it to ourselves until we grew comfortable with the situation.

Three days later my mom found a letter we had exchanged, one that was actually completely innocent - but she read everything into it and confronted me.

Now when I say confronted I should clarify. She lured me would be more accurate. For 3 hours she talked about how if I were in a relationship with Kimm I should just tell her, it was no big deal, etc etc Finally I caved and admitted it.

She exploded. For the rest of the evening she yelled and screamed. Called my really good friend who I lived with part time - and told her. (she ended up kicking me out). The next day she called my Kimm's parents and told them.

Kimm and I were semi long distance. I lived in Atlanta and she went to college about 2 hours out - and her parents lived 2 hours out on the completely opposite side of the city. This was a good thing as her father threatened to shoot me if I came near their house again. (I didn't for quite a while, opting instead to visit her at college)

My mom called me an abomination, said she wished she'd had an abortion - and everything else she could think of to sling at me.

It was a shit storm for close to a year...

Fast forward to about 9 years ago. My younger brother came out. Since then my mom has thought being gay is just uber cool and the best thing since sliced bread.

I guess you take it where you can get it.

And as everyone else has stated - that is just one story... slightly traumatic lol

Soft*Silver · 10-13-2011, 12:30 AM

coming out to my daughter was not an issue. She was wee when I started dating females. She was coloring at the kitchen table when I told her I was going to start dating women, like our friend Cheryl did. She didnt even look up when she asked me, "like Lani?" yep, I said. She kept coloring and told me she liked Lani.

Now at the age of 27, over the years when i date someone she asks me this:"are they male or female, and were they born that way?" Talk about asking for a legacy in a nutshell! And she only really wants to know so she can be sensitive about it.

kids, when expected to grasp socialization of values, will. As long as you do first and along with them....

10-12-2011, 05:33 AM	#1
princessbelle Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: femme ones Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Tennessee Posts: 6,100 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 29,380 Thanked 30,496 Times in 5,198 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	I came out to my mom first because she is nosey and i knew she would pick up on it anyway. My longtime partner had lived as my roommate for just a couple of weeks. It was not good. My mom is a Southern Baptist Republican and wears each one of those titles to her core. I was disowned and written out of her will and she did not speak to me for 6 months. When she figured out she needed me, she called and we talked. That was 12 years ago. She still don't really "get it" but i'm her daughter again and back in her will and good graces. She is also kind to my partners and treats them like family. She's come a long way. Coming out to my kids was way easier. I waited about a year till they were 13 and 16. Until then they just saw my partner as our roommate and we did not show SOA in front of them. My youngest, middle of the road republican son didn't like it but just basically chose to ignor it. My oldest, liberal democratic son, said he knew it and was proud. He had a shirt that said "my mom is gay and i'm proud of her". I was particular about where he wore that...lol. I've came out increasingly over the years to my friends and specific people at work including my boss who is wonderful and accepting. My aunts/uncles and the like have no clue. I will probably keep it that way. My brother knew before he passed and was fine with it. My father passed prior to me coming out to myself but i know his princess could do no wrong and is smiling down on me and my life. It takes a lot of time, often, for family members to come around. I try and convey that with every opportunity that i get when i know younger people are coming out to their family. Just give them the info....give it a few months to sink in and don't take their confusion and disappointment to heart. Most of the time, things change. __________________ ~ I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. ~ Maya Angelou

10-13-2011, 12:30 AM	#4
SoftSilver Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: rose cottage Posts: 5,592 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 8,948 Thanked 15,894 Times in 4,062 Posts Rep Power*: 21474857	coming out to my daughter was not an issue. She was wee when I started dating females. She was coloring at the kitchen table when I told her I was going to start dating women, like our friend Cheryl did. She didnt even look up when she asked me, "like Lani?" yep, I said. She kept coloring and told me she liked Lani. Now at the age of 27, over the years when i date someone she asks me this:"are they male or female, and were they born that way?" Talk about asking for a legacy in a nutshell! And she only really wants to know so she can be sensitive about it. kids, when expected to grasp socialization of values, will. As long as you do first and along with them.... __________________ Pole bachit, a lis chuye. The field sees, the forest hears

10-12-2011, 10:44 AM	#2
Hollylane Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: . Preferred Pronoun?: . Relationship Status: . Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: . Posts: 11,495 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 34,694 Thanked 26,362 Times in 5,875 Posts Rep Power: 21474862	A few weeks ago, I came out to a very religious male co-worker...He said, "God loves diversity" I said, "I'm pretty certain God loves you for realizing that" Sweet!

10-12-2011, 11:52 AM	#3
Tawse Member How Do You Identify?: TG Gender Queer Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Atlanta Posts: 730 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,973 Thanked 2,733 Times in 642 Posts Rep Power: 21474851	My coming out was rather traumatic lol. I was 21 at the time (1991) - unemployed and living part time with my mom and part time with a really good friend whom I considered my older sister. I had the realization that I was in love with one of my best friends, and she with I... we decided to act on those feelings after an all night conversation about the ramifications etc. We decided to keep it to ourselves until we grew comfortable with the situation. Three days later my mom found a letter we had exchanged, one that was actually completely innocent - but she read everything into it and confronted me. Now when I say confronted I should clarify. She lured me would be more accurate. For 3 hours she talked about how if I were in a relationship with Kimm I should just tell her, it was no big deal, etc etc Finally I caved and admitted it. She exploded. For the rest of the evening she yelled and screamed. Called my really good friend who I lived with part time - and told her. (she ended up kicking me out). The next day she called my Kimm's parents and told them. Kimm and I were semi long distance. I lived in Atlanta and she went to college about 2 hours out - and her parents lived 2 hours out on the completely opposite side of the city. This was a good thing as her father threatened to shoot me if I came near their house again. (I didn't for quite a while, opting instead to visit her at college) My mom called me an abomination, said she wished she'd had an abortion - and everything else she could think of to sling at me. It was a shit storm for close to a year... Fast forward to about 9 years ago. My younger brother came out. Since then my mom has thought being gay is just uber cool and the best thing since sliced bread. I guess you take it where you can get it. And as everyone else has stated - that is just one story... slightly traumatic lol