PTSD and Trauma recovery

Canela · 02-04-2010, 06:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Andrew, Jr.

Heartbreak Kid,

I have heard of that before, but can't remember where from. It is anger turned inward = depression.

That is a horrible place to be. I think at one time or another we were all there. It just took so much energy and strength to live. And in living we are beating our abuser(s). They are the ones who failed us repeatedly.

Thank you for your post. It was so well stated.

God bless you,
Andrew

I love this too, Andrew, "and in living we are beating our abuser(s)"...amen!

Gemme · 02-04-2010, 06:41 PM

HB Kid, I'm not familiar with Jaramillo's work, but it's true. The truly sinister part is that a lot of us don't realize what we are doing to ourselves until it's done.

For myself, I've sabotaged relationships, good things, time, good feelings in general, but especially my self feelings...self-worth, self-esteem, self-image...as a result of this inner abuse I put onto myself when it wasn't mine to do to begin with. My cup runneth over, they say, and I know that mine did and when it did, I did turn outward. I did rage. I did strike out, but not until I had filled me completely and had nowhere else to go.

The last line..."There was an abuser inside of me, who was trying to kill the victim inside of me."...is true for me, to a degree, even today.

DELSDAUGHTER · 02-04-2010, 08:28 PM

Thank you all for these posts...it is really opening my eyes..about a lot things
about my past as well as my past relationships..or should i say lack of....and is helping me understand the people i have been involved with.

do you find as a person that has lived thru such abuse and trauma that you tend to be a rescuer in a relationship?

Gemme · 02-04-2010, 08:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DELSDAUGHTER

do you find as a person that has lived thru such abuse and trauma that you tend to be a rescuer in a relationship?

In the past, yes, I have been. That's no longer a role I'm interested in playing with adults. I still haven't gotten kids out of my system and honestly probably ever won't. I would move Heaven and earth to keep a kid from being abused or hurt.

Andrew, Jr. · 02-04-2010, 10:28 PM

I too would move heaven and earth to help a child. Anything for a child. The same for an animal, the elderly, the disabled.

But I am not a rescuer. Not by a long shot. I can barely take care of myself.

DELSDAUGHTER · 02-05-2010, 05:11 AM

i have found that the people i have dated that were in abusive homes when they were growing up.....tend to be just that "rescuers" And have always ended the relationship with me either because
A) i didn't need rescuing.(always been very self sufficient)
B) the relationship was too good, calm, lack of drama
C) have left the relationship for someone that was definitely in more need of rescuing then me...but oddly enough these women were always str8 and always had kids. And a common factor was they were really crappy parents...so i am not sure whether they were rescuing the mothers or the kids.
D) have said they didn't think they were good enough for me or couldn't live up to what i deserved.

02-04-2010, 06:41 PM	#2
Gemme Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Queer Stone Femme Girl of the Unicorn Variety Preferred Pronoun?: She, as in 'She's a GEM' Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: The roads are narrow here Posts: 36,631 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 182,498 Thanked 107,925 Times in 25,666 Posts Rep Power: 21474887	HB Kid, I'm not familiar with Jaramillo's work, but it's true. The truly sinister part is that a lot of us don't realize what we are doing to ourselves until it's done. For myself, I've sabotaged relationships, good things, time, good feelings in general, but especially my self feelings...self-worth, self-esteem, self-image...as a result of this inner abuse I put onto myself when it wasn't mine to do to begin with. My cup runneth over, they say, and I know that mine did and when it did, I did turn outward. I did rage. I did strike out, but not until I had filled me completely and had nowhere else to go. The last line..."There was an abuser inside of me, who was trying to kill the victim inside of me."...is true for me, to a degree, even today. __________________ Gemme's Journal I'm misunderestimated.

02-04-2010, 08:28 PM	#3
DELSDAUGHTER Member How Do You Identify?: femme , with occasional tomboy tendencies Relationship Status: single,just me and the pup... Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: sittin on the Mason-Dixon Posts: 239 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 29 Thanked 83 Times in 51 Posts Rep Power: 429668	Thank you all for these posts...it is really opening my eyes..about a lot things about my past as well as my past relationships..or should i say lack of....and is helping me understand the people i have been involved with. do you find as a person that has lived thru such abuse and trauma that you tend to be a rescuer in a relationship?

02-04-2010, 10:28 PM	#5
Andrew, Jr. Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Me Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: Unavailable Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Over the Rainbow in a House Posts: 5,072 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 16,004 Thanked 5,249 Times in 2,216 Posts Rep Power: 0	I too would move heaven and earth to help a child. Anything for a child. The same for an animal, the elderly, the disabled. But I am not a rescuer. Not by a long shot. I can barely take care of myself.

02-05-2010, 05:11 AM	#6
DELSDAUGHTER Member How Do You Identify?: femme , with occasional tomboy tendencies Relationship Status: single,just me and the pup... Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: sittin on the Mason-Dixon Posts: 239 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 29 Thanked 83 Times in 51 Posts Rep Power: 429668	i have found that the people i have dated that were in abusive homes when they were growing up.....tend to be just that "rescuers" And have always ended the relationship with me either because A) i didn't need rescuing.(always been very self sufficient) B) the relationship was too good, calm, lack of drama C) have left the relationship for someone that was definitely in more need of rescuing then me...but oddly enough these women were always str8 and always had kids. And a common factor was they were really crappy parents...so i am not sure whether they were rescuing the mothers or the kids. D) have said they didn't think they were good enough for me or couldn't live up to what i deserved.