Jokes and things that made you laugh.

NJFemmie · 10-24-2011, 05:13 PM

Guy · 10-24-2011, 07:58 PM

Bill worked in a pickle factory. He'd been employed there for years when he came home one day and told his wife he had a terrible compulsion. He had an urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer.

His wife, terribly concerned, suggested that he see a sex therapist to talk about it, but Bill refused , he'd be too embarrassed, and vowed to overcome the compulsion on his own.

So a few weeks later, Bill came home one day , His wife knew something was seriously wrong. My God, Bill, what's wrong? she asked. Bill looked at her. Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?
Oh Bill, you didn't, she moaned, horrified.
Yes, I did
My God, Bill, what happened?
I got fired.
No, Bill, I mean what happened with the pickle slicer?
Oh, she got fired too.

Bella~Vita · 10-25-2011, 09:38 PM

Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children.
A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives,
they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able
to fit onto the bus.

So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the
husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as
he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, 'Why don't you put a
piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is
driving me crazy.'

The blind man replies, 'If you had put a rubber at the end of YOUR
stick, we'd be riding the bus, so shut up.'

tapu · 10-26-2011, 06:13 AM

I may already have posted this in another thread. I can't remember. I post so many things. But this fills me with laughter so I'll post it here. (No one's keeping track, right? Except DapperButch?)

If you want to know what it's like to have a third child, imagine that you're drowning and someone hands you a third child.

CockyDude · 10-26-2011, 07:30 AM

One afternoon mama is making a pot of chili. She reaches into the cabinet for some seasonings and a box of BBs falls out, into the pot. She panics then realizes, hell they're BBs. They should sink to the bottom. No harm. So dinnertime arrives, everyone is happy with the chili and mama figures no problems. About an hour after dinner her husband says, "Honey I just went to the bathroom & peed a BB.". She replies "Yes I know. You ate a BB. It's not gonna kill you. You'll be fine. Another 20 minutes goes by and her daughter comes crying into the kitchen. "Mommy, Mommy, I just went potty and a BB came out." It's okay honey" mom says. "You'll be fine." another 30 minutes goes by and her son comes running into the kitchen. "Mom, mom you'll never guess what happened." I know, I know" mom replies. "you went potty and peed a BB.,". "No" says the son. "I was in the barn jerkin off and I shot the dog."

10-24-2011, 05:13 PM	#1
NJFemmie Senior Member How Do You Identify?: The original lime-twisted femme Preferred Pronoun?: I answer to most things, especially lesbian. Relationship Status: Still loving my Mare ;) Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: New Jersey Posts: 4,683 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,343 Thanked 11,420 Times in 2,976 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	__________________

10-25-2011, 09:38 PM	#3
Bella~Vita Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: she Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: where salt is used for Margaritas not Snow Posts: 891 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,049 Thanked 1,322 Times in 443 Posts Rep Power: 7157596	Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus. So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, 'Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy.' The blind man replies, 'If you had put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick, we'd be riding the bus, so shut up.' __________________ ~ I believe that pleasing everyone is impossible..... but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake ~

10-26-2011, 06:13 AM	#4
tapu Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Understated butch. Preferred Pronoun?: I Relationship Status: Party of One Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Maine Posts: 1,654 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,324 Thanked 3,114 Times in 1,103 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	I may already have posted this in another thread. I can't remember. I post so many things. But this fills me with laughter so I'll post it here. (No one's keeping track, right? Except DapperButch?) If you want to know what it's like to have a third child, imagine that you're drowning and someone hands you a third child. __________________ Really? That's not funny to you?

10-24-2011, 07:58 PM	#2
Guy Senior Member How Do You Identify?: . Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: . Posts: 1,858 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,258 Thanked 2,574 Times in 889 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Bill worked in a pickle factory. He'd been employed there for years when he came home one day and told his wife he had a terrible compulsion. He had an urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer. His wife, terribly concerned, suggested that he see a sex therapist to talk about it, but Bill refused , he'd be too embarrassed, and vowed to overcome the compulsion on his own. So a few weeks later, Bill came home one day , His wife knew something was seriously wrong. My God, Bill, what's wrong? she asked. Bill looked at her. Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer? Oh Bill, you didn't, she moaned, horrified. Yes, I did My God, Bill, what happened? I got fired. No, Bill, I mean what happened with the pickle slicer? Oh, she got fired too.

10-26-2011, 07:30 AM	#5
CockyDude Timed Out How Do You Identify?: FTM-man Preferred Pronoun?: He, Him Relationship Status: What is today? Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: Midwest Posts: 239 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 151 Thanked 420 Times in 141 Posts Rep Power: 0	One afternoon mama is making a pot of chili. She reaches into the cabinet for some seasonings and a box of BBs falls out, into the pot. She panics then realizes, hell they're BBs. They should sink to the bottom. No harm. So dinnertime arrives, everyone is happy with the chili and mama figures no problems. About an hour after dinner her husband says, "Honey I just went to the bathroom & peed a BB.". She replies "Yes I know. You ate a BB. It's not gonna kill you. You'll be fine. Another 20 minutes goes by and her daughter comes crying into the kitchen. "Mommy, Mommy, I just went potty and a BB came out." It's okay honey" mom says. "You'll be fine." another 30 minutes goes by and her son comes running into the kitchen. "Mom, mom you'll never guess what happened." I know, I know" mom replies. "you went potty and peed a BB.,". "No" says the son. "I was in the barn jerkin off and I shot the dog."