Tips for Transitioning from an LDR to Living Together

[dark_crystal]

Originally Posted by diamondrose

i realize the the topic is LDR to Living together but...

One suggestion I could offer going from a LDR to being local is getting your own place to start off. It is easy to get lost in the joy of seeing each other between visits and it can actually end up being totally different once you are in your every day with that person. That way if it doesn't work out, you are established in your own place.

disclaimer- i was burned very badly by having an LDR move in with me- like call the cops/go to the hospital bad

I know it seems like a buzzkill but i, too, think living seperately-but-in-the-same-city for 6 months is the best thing to do.

And also- never move anywhere for love that you wouldn't move without it, or take a job that you wouldn't take otherwise. Part of you will hold your partner responsible for everything about your new situation

when someone leaves home, family, friends, and career for a relationship, this creates a situation where the relationship becomes "too big too fail" (lol) in that it just HAS to work because if it doesn't you have sacrificed all of that for nothing

this can cause you to ignore red flags or excuse bad behavior when you really shouldn't

i feel like an LDR is (in some respects) like a veeeeerrrry long first date- your second date doesn't even start until after the move

and making sacrifices as big as those mentioned (home, family, friends, and career) BEFORE the second date creates pressures that may be difficult to withstand