Being Tactile...

ArkansasPiscesGrrl · 10-29-2011, 01:37 PM

Great thread, and thanks to all the comments.

I have a niece that, as a baby, would bow back away from whoever was holding her, just to put space between herself and the adult. No cute infant cuddling for her. I always felt sorry for my sister-in-law, because that was one of the things I always LOVED when my kids were little, them cuddling into my neck, yanno?

Anyway, as for touch between a partner/lover/date goes, I love love love to touch and be touched. To me, and maybe I am weird, but touch (or the lack of) can almost be a point of validation of what the other is feeling. With my last partner, when we first got together, there was so much touch it was awesome... gentle, loving, public, it was as if we didn't want to be separated at all.

When she started to shut me out, it began with her pulling back from the touch. At the end (and this was even before I told her that it was ending and I was moving away), there was almost no touching at all on her part. So sad. I had not thought about this before, but it's almost like I was one of those infants deprived of touch. I felt lost much of the time.

When I once again venture into a relationship, I will be very clear with her that touch is necessary to ME.

10-29-2011, 01:37 PM	#14
ArkansasPiscesGrrl Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: she, her Relationship Status: feeling pretty darned blissful right now! Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: central AR Posts: 856 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,594 Thanked 3,079 Times in 741 Posts Rep Power: 21474850	Great thread, and thanks to all the comments. I have a niece that, as a baby, would bow back away from whoever was holding her, just to put space between herself and the adult. No cute infant cuddling for her. I always felt sorry for my sister-in-law, because that was one of the things I always LOVED when my kids were little, them cuddling into my neck, yanno? Anyway, as for touch between a partner/lover/date goes, I love love love to touch and be touched. To me, and maybe I am weird, but touch (or the lack of) can almost be a point of validation of what the other is feeling. With my last partner, when we first got together, there was so much touch it was awesome... gentle, loving, public, it was as if we didn't want to be separated at all. When she started to shut me out, it began with her pulling back from the touch. At the end (and this was even before I told her that it was ending and I was moving away), there was almost no touching at all on her part. So sad. I had not thought about this before, but it's almost like I was one of those infants deprived of touch. I felt lost much of the time. When I once again venture into a relationship, I will be very clear with her that touch is necessary to ME.