Has reading a post ever facilitated a change of mind surrounding something of significance?

[Martina]

Dylan really made me think about trans issues in ways that i had not. i do not think i would get his seal of approval, but i have changed.

[Cin]

I was writing a post this morning in the lesbian butches thread and it got me thinking about how much I’ve changed. This thread was a direct result of that realization. I got to thinking about all the people whose posts on this forum and the other who have been a part of my progression. People I don’t know and people who don’t know me and have no idea the effect their words have had in my life. I can site specific threads on .com that contributed to my changing certain ways I view things.

It’s not that I read one post and then I completely change my outlook about something. It’s more that while reading the words of others there are seeds planted, ideas that germinate and as a direct result of these experiences I slowly change and grow.

I have another question. Is there a particular style of presentation that works best for you? Is there a style that just turns you off and no matter what the person says you won’t hear them?

[Dominique]

I'll second that. I have changed. I was just telling AtLast that. And mind you, I have never spoken a single word to her. We were talking about the ever changing world of Butches. I was saying, I am always reading and reading. Getting rid of what I thought I knew, to make room for the new.
As for writing styles or presentation. I'm going to say no. Nothing in particular turns me off. Sometimes I have to be hit over the head to get the subject matter, other times I'm able to *sow the seed* as you said,
from a few buzz words. The story usually tells it's self if you hang in there long enough. Typed words are slippery and easy to misconstrue. I may read it one way today, come back tomorrow, and read it totally different. Same words.

[betenoire]

Originally Posted by Miss Tick

My question is simply has anyone ever actually been moved to change their mind about a heartfelt issue, not something rather insignificant like whether peeps are better micro waved or just like that out of the box, but something important to them, a central belief of some kind, because of a post or even several posts they read articulating an opposing point of view?

I have no idea, honestly. I know that my opinions on a lot of things have changed over the years, but I can't nail down a thread or a person or a conversation that was the kicker.

I do know that I've thread-stalked myself some over at the other site and I sometimes find myself thinking "did I really believe that? holy cats!"

Originally Posted by Miss Tick

I have another question. Is there a particular style of presentation that works best for you? Is there a style that just turns you off and no matter what the person says you won’t hear them?

Not so much a style of communication, but a style of person. People who tend to think that a difference of opinion on a subject is something PERSONAL are the types of people who I eventually just end up not reading. Attack my ideas, do not attack my personality.

There are some people here who I really look forward to the opportunity to read, even when I disagree with what they're saying. Because there's just a level of honesty there that comes off as really untainted. They don't even have similar posting styles (at all) so it's really not the method of delivery that does it for me.

I also really respect anybody who can disagree with you on one subject and then move on, not letting the difference of opinion leak into every other interaction that they have for all eternity.

[SoNotHer]

Betenoire: "I have no idea, honestly. I know that my opinions on a lot of things have changed over the years, but I can't nail down a thread or a person or a conversation that was the kicker. I do know that I've thread-stalked myself some over at the other site and I sometimes find myself thinking "did I really believe that? holy cats!"

This cracked me up, and isn't it something to read the palimpsest of your thoughts whether it's journal writing, poetry, fiction or posts? It's quite an experience to see how you change.

One specific example of change is when Apocalipitc and you, Miss Tick, got me rethinkng the term "American" as the exclusive province of US citizens, and other posts and posters have helped me form questions and shape my own experiences and feelings in ways that help me understand myself and my communities.

[Apocalipstic]

It's not been one post, it has been all of them...and yes, my views have changed on a number of subjects.

[Blade]

I can't think of any one post that has changed me or changed my mind about something. Many posts though have opened my mind to viewing something in a different light. The biggest thing I have noticed different about myself since joining forums is awareness. Terms and acronyms I'd never heard of or never heard used in real life. How they might mean something entirely different online vs RT. Awareness of how differently folks interpret what we say online vs RT. Just the many different facets of awareness.

[MsTinkerbelly]

I have not changed my views on core belief items like religion (mine only), or how I perceive good and bad, right and wrong. But....like several people have mentioned I look at things a different way, consider another's view of the world more seriously, am not so quick to judgement on an issue. There are those that cause me to pause and think...and I thank them for that opportunity to grow.

[AtLast]

Many from this community have enriched my thinking about a multitude of issues and subjects. I appreciate doors to other's experinces and thoughts being opened and this really matters to me. Like, Bet, I don't understand when disagreement gets personal and gets attached to future posts, but it happens.

I think I have had change in some attitudes, at least just better understanding of them via the site/community overall. Something that I have always liked as a member is that this is a place in which I can hear from people that just come from very different backgrounds than myself- if not for the site, I wouldn't have this opportunity and information to consider about things that matter- especially within the context of the entire range of the
B-F narrative.

Also, for me, being able to hear from differing age groups is important and I think, helps keep me more informed.

Have to add that the areas that have been most enlightening and given me the most to think about are the race related topics. Gender is a close second.

I know that my personal comfort level as a butch is directly related to participation here on the Planet as well as the old site. But, I know I came to the B-F dynamic (or at least my consciousness of it personally) much later in life than many.

LOL, so, it looks like my views and ideas have been altered! Thank you all!

[*Anya*]

Absolutely it has. I have posted several times that I have been informed, educated and had my mind opened to gender issues in a way I never had prior to coming to the Planet.

What I have a difficult time with is, on occasion, it appears to me that someone may become angry with a particular post and it apears as though there are verbal attacks or flaming. I see no need for that. We all come from different places, with varied levels of understanding and I think we can disagree in a respectful manner without making it personal.

As always, this is my own personal opinion and perspective. I do feel it is important to come from that position, rather than generalize and present opinion as fact.

[girl_dee]

Originally Posted by MsTinkerbelly

I have not changed my views on core belief items like religion (mine only), or how I perceive good and bad, right and wrong. But....like several people have mentioned I look at things a different way, consider another's view of the world more seriously, am not so quick to judgement on an issue. There are those that cause me to pause and think...and I thank them for that opportunity to grow.

I feel the same way, Threads and the content gives us another POV to consider.

[ruffryder]

I appreciate the passionate people in our community and I do appreciate everyone's beliefs. Of course I have been persuaded to change my mind on a topic or belief. I am one however not to go with the crowd or jump on the bandwagon. I think a lot of our beliefs come from what we were taught growing up and what we learn. I can definitely appreciate people who challenge that way of thinking and look outside the box they may have been put into as a child. I like to do research and gain insight on subjects I am interested in. I like facts. I also like opinions if they got some punch behind them and are well thought out and make sense. In that case I enjoy an argument all day. What I don't appreciate is people belittling others, acting like their way is the only way. People who turn others off just because they are stuck in their ways. Also, people who tell someone to shut up or go away since their opinions differ. That is disrespectful and obviously immature. I will interact with those that are respectful and want to know my opinion on a subject. I also don't like that just because someone may have a different opinion about something automatically they are hated or labeled and basically shouldn't have an opinion about anything since they don't agree with someone. I don't like personal attacks. I'd rather hear about the subject and why you think someone is wrong and you are right not only why they are wrong about their beliefs.

With all that being said, I have enjoyed learning here and I do keep an open mind coming here. I think that helps getting to know others and their beliefs. Thanks for the thread and thoughts.

[macele]

there are times when we should choose our words carefully, ...
we touch lives. we influence people. and most times never will know who.
in good ways and not so good ways.
do we even realize just how many people are involved in what we do and say.

i'm new to this group. but for several years i was a member of another group, and i've met several that were (still are) a muse for my mind and heart. just via their words.

as far as significance, i'm different when it comes to open-mindness, expression, humor. i've learned that being judged by those against homosexuality has nothing to do with me. it's about their beliefs, not mine.
i've learned that they are standing up for what they believe, and i am standing up for what i feel in my heart. it's all ok.

one thing i thought about when reading the intro to this thread
is what someone (other group) wrote about when entering a messy room. regardless of whether it's your mess, ...
leave the room cleaner than when you entered. as simple as this may seem, it has a bigger picture. very much so applies to being a member of a group.

in closing lol, ...they say a southern belle can tell you to go to hell in such a way, ...
you'll want to go.

[ruby_woo]

Holy crap yes. I'm still really new to posting here, but was active on the old site back in the day. I started posting there when I was 19 (!), and learned so much from the folks there- my mind was opened to new ideas about gender, race, economics, sex, body stuff, and just life in general.

I tend to find myself drawn to those who speak from experience and from the heart, rather than from something they read in a textbook. In general though I'm willing to listen to anyone who presents their opinion in a thoughtful manner, and doesn't resort to attacks.

And funny always draws me in as well.

[Vivacious1]

I wouldn't say that reading the forums have changed any one thing for me, but what I can say is that I have truly been inspired and had the desire to be better after reading some post. As I read through different things, there are certain people that may have an outlook that I never thought of before. There are also people that I admire for their strength and their determination. While those people may never know who they are, it's awesome to meet folks that suprise me. (In a good way)

[SelfMadeMan]

Absolutely! Well, reading a thread actually. I'm not proud to admit this, but of all people, I used to have a pretty narrow view of what is/isn't trans and what should be required to be able to transition. I was part of a conversation that ended up moderated, and the whole thing made me stop and do some soul searching, and I feel so bad for what I said that may have hurt people. I do firmly believe that we ALL have the right (or should have the right) to do and BE who we want to without judgement from our peers, and without the government telling us who we are allowed to be or how we are allowed to identify - including imposing beurocratic hoops we have to jump through to be true to ourselves.

[Cin]

Originally Posted by Yellow band

As for writing styles or presentation. I'm going to say no. Nothing in particular turns me off. Sometimes I have to be hit over the head to get the subject matter, other times I'm able to *sow the seed* as you said,
from a few buzz words. The story usually tells it's self if you hang in there long enough. Typed words are slippery and easy to misconstrue. I may read it one way today, come back tomorrow, and read it totally different. Same words.

Here is a perfect example of a post facilitating a change of mind. I read this post a few days ago and what Yellow band said about how easy it is to misconstrue typed words struck me. And the part that really got to me was when she said how she can come back the next day and read the same words completely differently. I sat with that awhile.

I started to consider that perhaps with some some posts I may misconstrue the intent. It's almost impossible not to inject some of your own understanding, opinions, beliefs or even suspicions into emotionless words on a computer screen. Even just reading it requires your own inflections.

Then I realized that this sometimes happens with my own words. I'll write something and I know what I meant and how i meant it and yet I'll come back a day or so later, read the same words and be struck by how they sound much different from how I meant them.

So now because of Yellow band's post I have had the opportunity to reflect on how I may read things that aren't necessarily there in the post of another and also that i might want to focus more on the message rather than the presentation. Less chance of confusion that way.

Of course as Betenoire mentioned it is difficult to deal with people who feel a difference of opinion is a personal attack. As well as those who attack the person and not the ideas.

[Talon]

Though, I wouldn't go as far as to say it's life altering...but I will say that there is a member here, that definitely gives me pause with her posts.

I could have my opinion on a topic...yes, mind made up..and then she'll respond.. and it's just this unveiling.

[Gráinne]

Yes, it just happened today. Many a time someone will put what I am thinking much better than I did or could, if I responded to the same post.

[Ginger]

Engaging in civil disagreements (with varying levels of success), on this site has made me braver, in my work, and in dealing with difficult personalities. I'm having an interesting awakening of perspective.