Letting Go Of Friendships

[Julie]

I am pretty much the person who takes a lot from a friend, before I walk. Like Daywalker - When I walk... There are no words - I just go. No explanations. BUT, it takes so much for me to get there.

One time in my life, I walked away from a friend and it broke my heart.
1995 (or so) and he was just diagnosed with aids. He had always had unprotected sex and we talked about this - but once the diagnosis came, he went on a rampage of unprotected sex - not caring about who he infected. "I got infected, they didn't care about me!" I tried to convince him to get help. I flew out there (DC) to be with him and try and help him through this. He told me to drop dead and fuck off.

Finally I said... "I am calling your doctor and therapist, and I am telling them what you are doing. I hope they report you to the authorities. You are killing people and doing it knowingly." I left and walked out that door, only learn a few years later he died. He also did not stop doing what he was doing. He just became more careful about it (or so this is what mutual friends heard).

I cannot stand by and watch those that I love destroy their lives or others. That is the point of no return for me.

I miss John and our friendship. We worked on the Names Project in DC together in 1993. That's the irony - He devoted so much of his life to helping others with HIV/AIDS... But that was before he was diagnosed.

Just sad.