Single FTM's & Femme's

Jarrek · 11-10-2011, 09:06 PM

I have not taken offense to what you have written. The meaning of my post was to help give insight on the many factors that play into transition, for transmen. It was nothing more than an educational tool to help others know more about themselves, especially those new in the process, and to help SOFFA's. I posted this out of good intentions.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ScandalAndy

I believe that my statement is getting a little bit misinterpreted here. While I am aware that sometimes there are fears expressed regarding an individual's starting HRT and the supposed anger issues, I don't subscribe to that school.

In my original post I stated that I wasn't sure if it was due to them being trans, not being on HRT. What I should have said to make my thoughts more clear is that I am not sure if the irritability is tied to the individual's innate personality (i.e. they are naturally a crankypants) or if the way they are experiencing their transition emotionally/mentally is far more influential in their interactions with others than they are able to comfortably express. I have seen a bit of hypermasculinity in some people I know, and perhaps the insecurity associated with it also plays into a shorter temper.

Luckily, I have the benefit of being active in the queer community and seeing firsthand that there are a lot of good guys who don't struggle with those types of things.

I apologize if I have offended anyone. I can assure you, no offense was meant.

ScandalAndy · 11-10-2011, 09:17 PM

Thank you for your post. It was really enlightening and shares a lot of great information. It's a really good resource to have in the thread! There's no doubt in my mind that your intentions are noble, and we're lucky that you have this info to share.

Also, thanks for the reassurance. I always worry that I will say something that comes across as offensive.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jarrek

I have not taken offense to what you have written. The meaning of my post was to help give insight on the many factors that play into transition, for transmen. It was nothing more than an educational tool to help others know more about themselves, especially those new in the process, and to help SOFFA's. I posted this out of good intentions.

sarahwho · 11-11-2011, 09:29 PM

Hey...rushing in, and then going to bed.

It snowed today - woke up to a sprinkling of the white crap on the leaves - ugh! Luckily tomorrow it will be in the 50's...have to take my son to see his grandparent's from his bio side, and then despite a cold I suddenly got, I have to rake the leaf piles and get them up before it actually decides to snow and kill the rest of the grass!

TEXNSMILE · 11-29-2011, 12:43 AM

I couldn't agree more with the awkward part of timing.
I lived 2/3 of my life as a confident often cocky butch, before my
transition. Out and Proud, front line, flag carrying member of an incredible
movement. I say I'm living my life back ass wards.. lol
Was out and proud, fearless
Now closet case, hard to know where ya fit in, who to tell, who
will see something worth keeping.
I'm no newbie to transition, but I sure haven't got it figured out.
I recently came here, to make some friends, try to feel connected, make
some connections.
Looking forward to the posts
TEX

" Character, what you do when no one is looking. "

Leigh · 11-29-2011, 01:12 AM

Well I'm back to the Singles drawing board again but no worries, I'll be fine .......... just here to be with My friends

ScandalAndy · 11-29-2011, 07:27 AM

Well, I was at dinner with a friend the other night, and the server referred to us as "ladies" again. I'm sick to death of being the one who gets all agitated and flatly states "he's a boy". Inevitably the server gets flustered and apologizes, and this person whom I've known for years now just sits there silently. I know he's pissed because he passes 100% of the time, it's just his voice that is the problem. He's property of the US government for the next 8 years, and while DADT has been repealed, being trans is still a big no-no.

I wish I knew how to handle these situations. I just get so outraged. One of us has to say something, and I know he doesn't correct people because he's too busy being in shock. Any suggestions? I'm not afraid to stand up and say something, I just wish it was less awkward.

KimbaYLRF · 11-29-2011, 08:05 AM

I have been this thread daily and I have never met a trans person in my life, but I feel what you all are going through.

I wish this was a time everyone was open-minded but sadly things are not like that. I would love someone no matter who or what they were so long as they are a good person.

Liam · 11-29-2011, 10:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ScandalAndy

Well, I was at dinner with a friend the other night, and the server referred to us as "ladies" again. I'm sick to death of being the one who gets all agitated and flatly states "he's a boy". Inevitably the server gets flustered and apologizes, and this person whom I've known for years now just sits there silently. I know he's pissed because he passes 100% of the time, it's just his voice that is the problem. He's property of the US government for the next 8 years, and while DADT has been repealed, being trans is still a big no-no.

I wish I knew how to handle these situations. I just get so outraged. One of us has to say something, and I know he doesn't correct people because he's too busy being in shock. Any suggestions? I'm not afraid to stand up and say something, I just wish it was less awkward.

I think humor goes a long way in situations like this, and laughter seems to quickly diffuse the tension for everyone in a scenario like the one you described.

Comments directed to your friend, while the server is present after their faux pas, such as, "Gee, I bet you wish you hadn't taken your Mama's Midol when you were a little boy!" or "Wayne Newton did well in Vegas with his voice, maybe we should go there."

It doesn't matter that Midol could never alter someone's voice, nor that your friend would never dream of singing in front of people. You are not jumping the server, and you are being supportive of your male friend, and hopefully everyone is smiling.

VintageFemme · 11-29-2011, 11:45 PM

Just saying hello to everyone too! Hope the week is going swimmingly well ... quick, effortless and full of smiles.

atomiczombie · 12-02-2011, 06:51 PM

Hi everyone!

atomiczombie · 12-04-2011, 04:11 PM

Single FTM seeks single femme for fun and flirting.

Me: old fashion, charming, Stone Top, mad skills, silly, sweet, and happy to stay single.

You: live within a couple hours or so from the bay area/sacramento, very feminine, sexual bottom, sweet, kind, level headed, up for some fun, not looking to get serious.

I don't have a lot of money for expensive dates. I am just looking for some light dating and sex without commitment. Safe sex is a must. Thanks for reading!

Leigh · 12-04-2011, 05:07 PM

Just came in to say hi to all of My fellow guys & the beautiful girls who enjoy us

morningstar55 · 12-05-2011, 07:25 AM

morning to singles have a awsome monday!!

GPS · 12-21-2011, 04:52 AM

Its nice to see more ppl interacting with FtM's
have a great day

Leigh · 12-21-2011, 08:03 PM

Just saying hi to everyone

ScandalAndy · 12-22-2011, 07:25 AM

Good morning guys and girls!

I've been struggling a lot with being lonely. Since we're all single, and at least some of us are open to finding a relationship, I figure I'm probably not the only one.

How do you deal with it?

I love to give gifts, come up with little surprises just to see the smile on the recipient's face. There are so many things I want to do, but they're too romantic to do for friends.

How the heck do I help myself get over it and move on? You can't force a relationship, and you can't make someone like you if they don't think of you that way. Now I need to figure out what I CAN do to keep myself out of gloomy town.

Any suggestions?

Leigh · 11-11-2011, 10:46 PM

Hey guys and gals, I hope you all have a fantastic weekend

morningstar55 · 11-14-2011, 12:54 PM

**peeking in **

hey ya singles....... wow a lot to catch up on here.
been busy running the highways to towns and cities near you .. lol
hey is anyone getting on that christmas card exchange thingie?? i been on it for a few seasons now. its kinda a fun and nice thing to do..

welp bbl.....

Leigh · 11-14-2011, 01:35 PM

Hi everyone, I hope your all having a great Monday so far

11-11-2011, 09:29 PM	#3
sarahwho Member How Do You Identify?: lonely femme.... Preferred Pronoun?: her/she Relationship Status: single - I quit Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: Ohio Posts: 232 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 80 Thanked 152 Times in 69 Posts Rep Power: 2722345	Hey...rushing in, and then going to bed. It snowed today - woke up to a sprinkling of the white crap on the leaves - ugh! Luckily tomorrow it will be in the 50's...have to take my son to see his grandparent's from his bio side, and then despite a cold I suddenly got, I have to rake the leaf piles and get them up before it actually decides to snow and kill the rest of the grass! __________________ You will find a girl prettier than me, smarter than me, and funnier than me, but you will never find a girl just like me.

11-29-2011, 12:43 AM	#4
TEXNSMILE Junior Member How Do You Identify?: FTM Preferred Pronoun?: Him, He Relationship Status: Open to Finding Love Join Date: Nov 2011 Location: Portland Posts: 4 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 0 Thanked 11 Times in 2 Posts Rep Power: 0	In Agreement ~ I couldn't agree more with the awkward part of timing. I lived 2/3 of my life as a confident often cocky butch, before my transition. Out and Proud, front line, flag carrying member of an incredible movement. I say I'm living my life back ass wards.. lol Was out and proud, fearless Now closet case, hard to know where ya fit in, who to tell, who will see something worth keeping. I'm no newbie to transition, but I sure haven't got it figured out. I recently came here, to make some friends, try to feel connected, make some connections. Looking forward to the posts TEX " Character, what you do when no one is looking. " __________________ "the more you like yourself, the less you have to pretend to be someone else."

11-29-2011, 01:12 AM	#5
Leigh Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, Her, etc Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Canada Posts: 7,767 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,029 Thanked 13,024 Times in 4,784 Posts Rep Power: 21474859	Well I'm back to the Singles drawing board again but no worries, I'll be fine .......... just here to be with My friends __________________ "When you fall off the wagon ... clutch the sides of it until you get a better grip!"

11-29-2011, 07:27 AM	#6
ScandalAndy Member How Do You Identify?: human femme spitfire Preferred Pronoun?: she/her Relationship Status: it's official! Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: east coast USA Posts: 1,167 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,758 Thanked 3,217 Times in 753 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	Well, I was at dinner with a friend the other night, and the server referred to us as "ladies" again. I'm sick to death of being the one who gets all agitated and flatly states "he's a boy". Inevitably the server gets flustered and apologizes, and this person whom I've known for years now just sits there silently. I know he's pissed because he passes 100% of the time, it's just his voice that is the problem. He's property of the US government for the next 8 years, and while DADT has been repealed, being trans is still a big no-no. I wish I knew how to handle these situations. I just get so outraged. One of us has to say something, and I know he doesn't correct people because he's too busy being in shock. Any suggestions? I'm not afraid to stand up and say something, I just wish it was less awkward. __________________ The joy of discovery is certainly the liveliest that the mind of man can ever feel. - Claude Bernard (1813-78)

11-29-2011, 08:05 AM	#7
KimbaYLRF Junior Member How Do You Identify?: I originally posted femme, but not quite I am femme. Maybe a 'tweener. Relationship Status: On the way to being single Join Date: Nov 2011 Location: MA Posts: 61 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 149 Thanked 331 Times in 48 Posts Rep Power: 3875346	I have been this thread daily and I have never met a trans person in my life, but I feel what you all are going through. I wish this was a time everyone was open-minded but sadly things are not like that. I would love someone no matter who or what they were so long as they are a good person. __________________ This is life, not heaven, you do not have to be perfect.

11-29-2011, 11:45 PM	#9
VintageFemme Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: Outside Posts: 2,299 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,828 Thanked 7,620 Times in 1,655 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Just saying hello to everyone too! Hope the week is going swimmingly well ... quick, effortless and full of smiles. __________________ Unfinished Business & Open to Serendipity

12-02-2011, 06:51 PM	#10
atomiczombie Member How Do You Identify?: Femmesensual Transguy Preferred Pronoun?: He, Him, His Relationship Status: Dating Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Rio Vista, CA Posts: 1,225 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,949 Thanked 3,221 Times in 759 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Hi everyone! __________________ http://i277.photobucket.com/albums/k...orums_2000.gif Russian Unicorn http://occupiedmedia.us/

12-04-2011, 04:11 PM	#11
atomiczombie Member How Do You Identify?: Femmesensual Transguy Preferred Pronoun?: He, Him, His Relationship Status: Dating Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Rio Vista, CA Posts: 1,225 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,949 Thanked 3,221 Times in 759 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Single FTM seeks single femme for fun and flirting. Me: old fashion, charming, Stone Top, mad skills, silly, sweet, and happy to stay single. You: live within a couple hours or so from the bay area/sacramento, very feminine, sexual bottom, sweet, kind, level headed, up for some fun, not looking to get serious. I don't have a lot of money for expensive dates. I am just looking for some light dating and sex without commitment. Safe sex is a must. Thanks for reading! __________________ http://i277.photobucket.com/albums/k...orums_2000.gif Russian Unicorn http://occupiedmedia.us/

12-04-2011, 05:07 PM	#12
Leigh Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, Her, etc Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Canada Posts: 7,767 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,029 Thanked 13,024 Times in 4,784 Posts Rep Power: 21474859	Just came in to say hi to all of My fellow guys & the beautiful girls who enjoy us __________________ "When you fall off the wagon ... clutch the sides of it until you get a better grip!"

12-05-2011, 07:25 AM	#13
morningstar55 Senior Member How Do You Identify?: femme,she Preferred Pronoun?: she,her, Relationship Status: very single Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: western NY Posts: 3,809 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,280 Thanked 4,240 Times in 1,845 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	morning to singles have a awsome monday!! __________________ -------------------------------------------- life is to short to wake up in the morning with regrets so love the people who treat you right, forget about the ones who dont, and believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance take it... if it changes your life let it.

12-21-2011, 04:52 AM	#14
GPS Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Daddy to my 5 year old.. Preferred Pronoun?: Banned 12/27/2012 - Former member came back under a new name Relationship Status: Enjoying Life Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: the south, is where i like it Posts: 505 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,820 Thanked 1,171 Times in 351 Posts Rep Power: 0	Its nice to see more ppl interacting with FtM's have a great day

12-21-2011, 08:03 PM	#15
Leigh Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, Her, etc Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Canada Posts: 7,767 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,029 Thanked 13,024 Times in 4,784 Posts Rep Power: 21474859	Just saying hi to everyone __________________ "When you fall off the wagon ... clutch the sides of it until you get a better grip!"

12-22-2011, 07:25 AM	#16
ScandalAndy Member How Do You Identify?: human femme spitfire Preferred Pronoun?: she/her Relationship Status: it's official! Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: east coast USA Posts: 1,167 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,758 Thanked 3,217 Times in 753 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	Good morning guys and girls! I've been struggling a lot with being lonely. Since we're all single, and at least some of us are open to finding a relationship, I figure I'm probably not the only one. How do you deal with it? I love to give gifts, come up with little surprises just to see the smile on the recipient's face. There are so many things I want to do, but they're too romantic to do for friends. How the heck do I help myself get over it and move on? You can't force a relationship, and you can't make someone like you if they don't think of you that way. Now I need to figure out what I CAN do to keep myself out of gloomy town. Any suggestions? __________________ The joy of discovery is certainly the liveliest that the mind of man can ever feel. - Claude Bernard (1813-78)

11-11-2011, 10:46 PM	#17
Leigh Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, Her, etc Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Canada Posts: 7,767 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,029 Thanked 13,024 Times in 4,784 Posts Rep Power: 21474859	Hey guys and gals, I hope you all have a fantastic weekend __________________ "When you fall off the wagon ... clutch the sides of it until you get a better grip!"

11-14-2011, 12:54 PM	#18
morningstar55 Senior Member How Do You Identify?: femme,she Preferred Pronoun?: she,her, Relationship Status: very single Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: western NY Posts: 3,809 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,280 Thanked 4,240 Times in 1,845 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	peeking in hey ya singles....... wow a lot to catch up on here. been busy running the highways to towns and cities near you .. lol hey is anyone getting on that christmas card exchange thingie?? i been on it for a few seasons now. its kinda a fun and nice thing to do.. welp bbl..... __________________ -------------------------------------------- life is to short to wake up in the morning with regrets so love the people who treat you right, forget about the ones who dont, and believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance take it... if it changes your life let it.

11-14-2011, 01:35 PM	#19
Leigh Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, Her, etc Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Canada Posts: 7,767 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,029 Thanked 13,024 Times in 4,784 Posts Rep Power: 21474859	Hi everyone, I hope your all having a great Monday so far __________________ "When you fall off the wagon ... clutch the sides of it until you get a better grip!"