I feel guilt about losing weight thread

Soft*Silver · 11-14-2011, 04:23 PM

wow. Can i connect with this or what? I had my surgery a season ago. I dropped enough weight to need new clothes. Here are some of the remarks i have gotten from my friends and family, of all sizes:

Bet you think you're something now, dont you?

Better keep your fat clothes, you're just gonna gain it all back someday.

I wish I had YOUR problem of having to buy all new clothes (not said in a nice way)

Oh we cant go to a buffet because SHE cant eat like us anymore

Is that all you're going to order? Are you trying to make us feel bad?

well, you didnt lose enuf to be skinny. So what then...

***********

I dont get asked out for meals anymore. When friends and family go out for food, I dont get asked. I often have to ask my sub to finish my meals at restaurants. Or I take it home and eat it later. No one wants to go dress shopping with me. I dont know what size I wear anymore so I have to keep going down in sizes until I hit the right one, in almost everything garment I try on. It pisses people off.

on the other hand, they ARE all happy for me and tell me that as well. BOTH are true. We go to book stores, coffee places, craft shows, etc. Things i couldnt do when I couldnt even walk a few steps and not breath because my lung was collapsed.

But, because of this other side to my weight loss, I am worried about Thanksgiving and Christmas. I am not baking cookies this year. I dont have the money for the ingredients. But to them, they might (and probably will) see this as an extension of my weight loss. I could spell it out but at this point, I am tired of spelling it out to them. THEY need to accept my weight loss or not. I have. And I am still losing. Thankfully, its not coming off quickly. (at first it did, now its slowly coming off) I have never felt better in many ways. I can breath. My joints dont hurt. I dont feel bad about myself for overeating. Life is good.

But I am the one who had the surgery. Their life didnt change. So they just need more time to adjust. Or not.

Frankly, I am ok not being invited to buffets. It would only frustrate me..lol

Corkey · 11-14-2011, 04:30 PM

There's enough guilt in the world for folks to focus on. Anyone who is loosing weight, and doing so for their health has my support. Anyone who is fat positive has my support, because not everyone is going to be able to loose weight. What someone weighs is not who they are. Just being human is hard enough, stop with the guilt.

11-14-2011, 04:23 PM	#1
SoftSilver Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: rose cottage Posts: 5,594 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 8,948 Thanked 15,896 Times in 4,064 Posts Rep Power*: 21474858	wow. Can i connect with this or what? I had my surgery a season ago. I dropped enough weight to need new clothes. Here are some of the remarks i have gotten from my friends and family, of all sizes: Bet you think you're something now, dont you? Better keep your fat clothes, you're just gonna gain it all back someday. I wish I had YOUR problem of having to buy all new clothes (not said in a nice way) Oh we cant go to a buffet because SHE cant eat like us anymore Is that all you're going to order? Are you trying to make us feel bad? well, you didnt lose enuf to be skinny. So what then... *********** I dont get asked out for meals anymore. When friends and family go out for food, I dont get asked. I often have to ask my sub to finish my meals at restaurants. Or I take it home and eat it later. No one wants to go dress shopping with me. I dont know what size I wear anymore so I have to keep going down in sizes until I hit the right one, in almost everything garment I try on. It pisses people off. on the other hand, they ARE all happy for me and tell me that as well. BOTH are true. We go to book stores, coffee places, craft shows, etc. Things i couldnt do when I couldnt even walk a few steps and not breath because my lung was collapsed. But, because of this other side to my weight loss, I am worried about Thanksgiving and Christmas. I am not baking cookies this year. I dont have the money for the ingredients. But to them, they might (and probably will) see this as an extension of my weight loss. I could spell it out but at this point, I am tired of spelling it out to them. THEY need to accept my weight loss or not. I have. And I am still losing. Thankfully, its not coming off quickly. (at first it did, now its slowly coming off) I have never felt better in many ways. I can breath. My joints dont hurt. I dont feel bad about myself for overeating. Life is good. But I am the one who had the surgery. Their life didnt change. So they just need more time to adjust. Or not. Frankly, I am ok not being invited to buffets. It would only frustrate me..lol __________________ Pole bachit, a lis chuye. The field sees, the forest hears

11-14-2011, 04:30 PM	#2
Corkey Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Human Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: Very Married Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Where I want to be Posts: 8,155 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 47,491 Thanked 29,269 Times in 6,637 Posts Rep Power: 21474860	There's enough guilt in the world for folks to focus on. Anyone who is loosing weight, and doing so for their health has my support. Anyone who is fat positive has my support, because not everyone is going to be able to loose weight. What someone weighs is not who they are. Just being human is hard enough, stop with the guilt. __________________ "Many proposals have been made to us to adopt your laws, your religion, your manners and your customs. We would be better pleased with beholding the good effects of these doctrines in your own practices, than with hearing you talk about them". ~Old Tassel, Chief of the Tsalagi (Cherokee)