Devotion

[always2late]

I wrote this story in another thread..I think the thread was about what love looks like, or something along those lines. I think it can apply here to devotion as well.

Several years ago I worked on an Alzheimer/Dementia unit. One of my elderly patients was in the end stage of dementia, mentally she was completely gone, and she required total care. Her husband, Mr. C, would come to see her every day. He would arrive early in the morning to feed her breakfast and help get her ready for the day. He would sit with her, talk to her, read to her, wheel her around the facility and outside when the weather was good. After feeding her lunch, he would leave for about an hour to go home and eat...and then he would return and only leave again when she was put to bed. He would do this EVERY day. Keep in mind, his wife did not recognize him, or respond to him...mentally she was just not there. He and I used to talk and he told me the story of how they met...it was at a navy dance when they were both in their late teens...they met in January, he married her that June, and they were together since that time. One day, we had a blizzard, and a state of emergency was declared. Of course, I still had to go to work, but the police were actually stopping "unessential" cars on the road. I was sitting behind the nurse's station when Mr. C walked in...I could not believe it. I said "Mr. C...you shouldn't be out in this weather! What are you doing here??" He smiled and replied "Well, I couldn't just leave my girl alone, could I?"

To me...that is not just love, that is devotion. Love can be a bit selfish sometimes. We enjoy love, not just because of the way we feel about someone, but also because of how they make US feel and how they feel about us. Love is best when it is reciprocal. However, devotion is something different. It is giving even when there is no hope of return, remaining constant when there is nothing to gain. It's putting the happiness of someone else above your own, doing without being told, giving without being asked.

I've had love in my life...several times. I think we've all had love, been loved, given love and received it. I think in this life, we love and are loved many times...but true devotion...I think if we are lucky enough to find that, it only comes around once in a lifetime.

[Gaige]

Originally Posted by always2late

I wrote this story in another thread..I think the thread was about what love looks like, or something along those lines. I think it can apply here to devotion as well.

Several years ago I worked on an Alzheimer/Dementia unit. One of my elderly patients was in the end stage of dementia, mentally she was completely gone, and she required total care. Her husband, Mr. C, would come to see her every day. He would arrive early in the morning to feed her breakfast and help get her ready for the day. He would sit with her, talk to her, read to her, wheel her around the facility and outside when the weather was good. After feeding her lunch, he would leave for about an hour to go home and eat...and then he would return and only leave again when she was put to bed. He would do this EVERY day. Keep in mind, his wife did not recognize him, or respond to him...mentally she was just not there. He and I used to talk and he told me the story of how they met...it was at a navy dance when they were both in their late teens...they met in January, he married her that June, and they were together since that time. One day, we had a blizzard, and a state of emergency was declared. Of course, I still had to go to work, but the police were actually stopping "unessential" cars on the road. I was sitting behind the nurse's station when Mr. C walked in...I could not believe it. I said "Mr. C...you shouldn't be out in this weather! What are you doing here??" He smiled and replied "Well, I couldn't just leave my girl alone, could I?"

To me...that is not just love, that is devotion. Love can be a bit selfish sometimes. We enjoy love, not just because of the way we feel about someone, but also because of how they make US feel and how they feel about us. Love is best when it is reciprocal. However, devotion is something different. It is giving even when there is no hope of return, remaining constant when there is nothing to gain. It's putting the happiness of someone else above your own, doing without being told, giving without being asked.

I've had love in my life...several times. I think we've all had love, been loved, given love and received it. I think in this life, we love and are loved many times...but true devotion...I think if we are lucky enough to find that, it only comes around once in a lifetime.

excellent post.

[SoNotHer]

It's an exquisitely beautiful post, and it has made me smile inside and out. Thank you for starting the thread with such a special story.

Originally Posted by always2late

I wrote this story in another thread..I think the thread was about what love looks like, or something along those lines. I think it can apply here to devotion as well.

Several years ago I worked on an Alzheimer/Dementia unit. One of my elderly patients was in the end stage of dementia, mentally she was completely gone, and she required total care. Her husband, Mr. C, would come to see her every day. He would arrive early in the morning to feed her breakfast and help get her ready for the day. He would sit with her, talk to her, read to her, wheel her around the facility and outside when the weather was good. After feeding her lunch, he would leave for about an hour to go home and eat...and then he would return and only leave again when she was put to bed. He would do this EVERY day. Keep in mind, his wife did not recognize him, or respond to him...mentally she was just not there. He and I used to talk and he told me the story of how they met...it was at a navy dance when they were both in their late teens...they met in January, he married her that June, and they were together since that time. One day, we had a blizzard, and a state of emergency was declared. Of course, I still had to go to work, but the police were actually stopping "unessential" cars on the road. I was sitting behind the nurse's station when Mr. C walked in...I could not believe it. I said "Mr. C...you shouldn't be out in this weather! What are you doing here??" He smiled and replied "Well, I couldn't just leave my girl alone, could I?"

To me...that is not just love, that is devotion. Love can be a bit selfish sometimes. We enjoy love, not just because of the way we feel about someone, but also because of how they make US feel and how they feel about us. Love is best when it is reciprocal. However, devotion is something different. It is giving even when there is no hope of return, remaining constant when there is nothing to gain. It's putting the happiness of someone else above your own, doing without being told, giving without being asked.

I've had love in my life...several times. I think we've all had love, been loved, given love and received it. I think in this life, we love and are loved many times...but true devotion...I think if we are lucky enough to find that, it only comes around once in a lifetime.

[Hollylane]

My brain is completely withered at this moment, thus preventing me from posting more about how I view devotion.

I think this thread is wonderful. I will contribute a poem that I wrote, that I feel speaks a little to the topic, "Devotion", and how I feel about it.

Love That You Love Her

Do not feed off the passion and desire presented in the electric arc
Between fingertips and the ache of skin that is longing for your touch
Or that beats visibly at the base of an arched neck exposed for taking
Respond not to the love that shines within raised and adoring eyes
Nor partake selfishly of the unfettered offer that is given only to you
Unless your heart too, has broken with the beauty of all that is her,
And bleeds with motiveless need to show this lover your own affection

~Hollylane 10/24/11

[atomiczombie]

Devotion is wanting the very best for someone you love, even when you aren't it. It's never giving up on someone you believe in.

[Dude]

It's visiting your friend with Aids in a hospice house
when he has dementia so bad, he does not notice your there anymore.
6 months, everyday after work
no matter what

[SoNotHer]

Beautiful posts... thank you all. I am grateful for them.

A couple posts reminded me of this beautiful film and story. The husband in it is losing his wife to Alzheimer's and stands by her even as she no longer recognizes him or remembers their love, even as she falls in love with another.

Devotion -

[mustangjeano]

I have been thinking about what this word means to me since I first read SoNotHer's question earlier today. It's not as simple for me to answer as the question looks at first. My short answer is, to give the very best that you have to offer at the moment, forever. Ideally that would include love, respect, patience, tenderness, passion, humor, and playfulness. This can be applicable to any human or animal relationships---sometimes the best I can strive for at the moment is respect and patience.
Jeano