Poly Relationships

[girl_dee]

Originally Posted by Sachita

I see myself definitely in a matriarchal family where I am alpha and very much as you described Dee. There has to be a spiritual element even if that is unconditional love and devotion. For me to care for, control, own, etc. I must have the exchange of complete control and devotion. In order for me to orchestrate the entire family dynamic I must be informed of how each person feels, thinks and monitor/own their movement. I enjoy full control- mind, body and soul. The more control one gives me the more I flourish. Some don't want the responsibility where I thrive on it. It would be the only way I would agree to a poly household. In fact at this point the only type of relationship I seek. It doesnt have to have bdsm, outward kinky play, although that would be nice, but more importantly a highly spiritual female led dynamic.

Those are wonderful attributes of a great Master IMO. Our energy in this house, which we thrive on is M/s and for Syr and I also D/g. It is very powerful and I feel that I am under an umbrella of protection and caring.

I am expected to say what is on my mind if asked, I am not allowed to withhold, and Syr had to learn to be ready for me to unload. Without the prompting I won't say anything, and that is not good. My feelings are never dismissed although I may be told I am over reacting or to put my focus elsewhere. I have gone to my Syr for years for things in my life, only now, they directly affect Her, so much has changed.

My Syr is responsible for me. Not once has She ever made me feel like a burden or a bother, She has pulled Her hair out at times, but that's part of the life here lol. I am also expected to take care of Her property by eating well ( an ongoing struggle) and feeling fulfilled in all facets.

We started out long distance in a wonderful D/s, it was perfect for us both at the time and it just kinda happened. She has been my rock since then. My sister has and is a great mentor for me, that will always be I feel.

[kissinfemme]

Originally Posted by Cajun_dee

Those are wonderful attributes of a great Master IMO. Our energy in this house, which we thrive on is M/s and for Syr and I also D/g. It is very powerful and I feel that I am under an umbrella of protection and caring.

I am expected to say what is on my mind if asked, I am not allowed to withhold, and Syr had to learn to be ready for me to unload. Without the prompting I won't say anything, and that is not good. My feelings are never dismissed although I may be told I am over reacting or to put my focus elsewhere. I have gone to my Syr for years for things in my life, only now, they directly affect Her, so much has changed.

My Syr is responsible for me. Not once has She ever made me feel like a burden or a bother, She has pulled Her hair out at times, but that's part of the life here lol. I am also expected to take care of Her property by eating well ( an ongoing struggle) and feeling fulfilled in all facets.

We started out long distance in a wonderful D/s, it was perfect for us both at the time and it just kinda happened. She has been my rock since then. My sister has and is a great mentor for me, that will always be I feel.

I've thought about poly for a long time, unsure if that was a road I wanted to travel but.... with the way Dee has described her happy family life I would love to have/be a part of something wonderful like that and think I would do very well & thrive with that dynamic. Hmmm....

[girl_dee]

Originally Posted by kissinfemme

I've thought about poly for a long time, unsure if that was a road I wanted to travel but.... with the way Dee has described her happy family life I would love to have/be a part of something wonderful like that and think I would do very well & thrive with that dynamic. Hmmm....

I would have never gone out and sought this lifestyle. I've always admired the Sister bond in poly families. Still I never thought of myself in this life, in the past I have had major insecurities and such. However, with the right setting and people those things go away and you feel solid and secure.

I suggest to check out your wiring, I would have never thought I would want this, but I am flying in this lifestyle.

dee

[HoustonHuny]

Originally Posted by Cajun_dee

I would have never gone out and sought this lifestyle. I've always admired the Sister bond in poly families. Still I never thought of myself in this life, in the past I have had major insecurities and such. However, with the right setting and people those things go away and you feel solid and secure.

I suggest to check out your wiring, I would have never thought I would want this, but I am flying in this lifestyle.

dee

I am really intriqued by this subject. I have always known that I was non-monogamous, but I think that is entirely different. I had a 20-year, same-time-next-year type of love affair while in committed relationships. If my partners had known about it, they could not have dealt with it. I think it takes a very secure person to be able to handle this type of situation without all of the jealousy and possessivness that just goes with the territory in any relationship. I admire your ability to rise above these issues.

Speaking for myself, I have known being "in-love" with more than one person at a time. Maybe this is not the case with you, but obviously it is the case with your "Syr."

What makes me curious is how she handles the needs of two women at the same time.

[atomiczombie]

I'm not a jealous guy. If I had a girlfriend who wanted certain things that I don't want to provide, I would be happy for her to go out and experience those things so long as she is open and honest and SAFE. For example, I am strictly a stone Top. I don't have breasts. I would not have an issue with a girlfriend topping someone else or playing with someone's boobs, or playing with another femme. I think that honesty and being up front about it is the most important thing for me.

[girl_dee]

Originally Posted by atomiczombie

I'm not a jealous guy. If I had a girlfriend who wanted certain things that I don't want to provide, I would be happy for her to go out and experience those things so long as she is open and honest and SAFE. For example, I am strictly a stone Top. I don't have breasts. I would not have an issue with a girlfriend topping someone else or playing with someone's boobs, or playing with another femme. I think that honesty and being up front about it is the most important thing for me.

I am not saying this is your case, but SO many times people say this exact thing, until it happens.

Up front and honest are the biggest pieces to the puzzle. Each and every time someone isn't upfront about something, problems occur in our household. Then once whatever it is comes out, we all talk and get through it, the next day is better than ever.

[kannon]

Originally Posted by Cajun_dee

I am not saying this is your case, but SO many times people say this exact thing, until it happens.

Up front and honest are the biggest pieces to the puzzle. Each and every time someone isn't upfront about something, problems occur in our household. Then once whatever it is comes out, we all talk and get through it, the next day is better than ever.

I was in a poly relationship with a woman and her boyfriend. It was great at first. They were together and invited me into their relationship. He and I were not physical but we were really good friends. He was okay with sharing, however, he had one requirement - she and I not engage in any sexual activity unless he was present. After about 6 months, we had sex while he was out of the house. Somehow, he knew. He demanded she break off the relationship with me. She had developed strong feelings for me and couldn't do it. They broke off their relationship and I had her all to myself, which was fine with me.

I think he would have been okay with the arrangement if he had continued to feel in control of her emotions and behavior. As long as her relationship with me was just sexual then it was okay with him. Once he realized that she developed deeper feelings for me he freaked.

That may be the secret for many poly relationships. If there are 2 primary members then they must feel secure and trust each other. I'm not sure how they would respond if one starts to develop feelings for another member. That has to happen frequently - developing deeper feelings for someone you are sleeping with.

[fever]

Originally Posted by atomiczombie

I'm not a jealous guy. If I had a girlfriend who wanted certain things that I don't want to provide, I would be happy for her to go out and experience those things so long as she is open and honest and SAFE. For example, I am strictly a stone Top. I don't have breasts. I would not have an issue with a girlfriend topping someone else or playing with someone's boobs, or playing with another femme. I think that honesty and being up front about it is the most important thing for me.

Atomic, I don't understand your statements here. If I am a stonefemme, I thought I would respect and love you just as you are.

I am a stonefemme, and I am not interested in your "boobs". I wouldn't be going out with a stone or TG if I want to play with breasts. I adore a guy's chest area, and don't even think about the breasts.

I do agree with your statement about honesty and being up front with a partner. Always.

humbly,
Candice

[atomiczombie]

Originally Posted by fever

Atomic, I don't understand your statements here. If I am a stonefemme, I thought I would respect and love you just as you are.

I am a stonefemme, and I am not interested in your "boobs". I wouldn't be going out with a stone or TG if I want to play with breasts. I adore a guy's chest area, and don't even think about the breasts.

I do agree with your statement about honesty and being up front with a partner. Always.

humbly,
Candice

Well not all femmes are stone femmes in the way you are. Not all femmes are strictly bottoms. Some switch. Some are Tops. So if I am partnered with a switch, then I would want her to be able to enjoy topping with someone else. Who am I to say she can't get that want fulfilled? I am not interested in confining my partner in a relationship where she doesn't get to enjoy all the things she might like. As long as it is all above board and she is being safe about it, then I would be fine with that.

[girl_dee]

Originally Posted by HoustonHuny

I am really intriqued by this subject. I have always known that I was non-monogamous, but I think that is entirely different. I had a 20-year, same-time-next-year type of love affair while in committed relationships. If my partners had known about it, they could not have dealt with it. I think it takes a very secure person to be able to handle this type of situation without all of the jealousy and possessivness that just goes with the territory in any relationship. I admire your ability to rise above these issues.

Speaking for myself, I have known being "in-love" with more than one person at a time. Maybe this is not the case with you, but obviously it is the case with your "Syr."

What makes me curious is how she handles the needs of two women at the same time.

LOL this made me chuckle. Well first let me say that "I feel" ( I made sure I added that this time!) it takes being secure, but your partners have to also take care of this. I mean, we are all very discreet when we need to be and open and up front where we need to be. If the balance is not kept fairly, problems will happen. The best part is the wives encouraging a wonderful relationship with Syr individually. When Syr is right with each of us, we have a great life! When something is amiss with one of us, we all feel it. It's scary and wonderful at the same time.

Being *in love* with more than one person is Polyamorous. I believe this happens so often, but people just don't put a name on it. I feel I am in love with my Sister to a degree, not exactly the way I love Syr. I don't want two lovers. I am also Syr's property so I would never be allowed to sleep or play with anyone beside her, which I have no desire to do anyway.

Syr is great at handling our needs... we are required to ask when we feel we need something, we may not get it but we are required to ask. She is quite a Master at balancing us both, and spreading the love in many ways.

What she is trying to handle is two women cycling at the same time every month.

[HoustonHuny]

Originally Posted by Cajun_dee

What she is trying to handle is two women cycling at the same time every month.

Yikes!