Friends of Bill W.

[LeftWriteFemme]

November 28


How I’ve come upon the World.



My first exposure to Bogart was as the man who was after Bugs Bunny, and Lauren Bacall was only referred to as Baby. I only ever heard Kaw Liga because Stephen King referenced it too often and I had to go have a listen. I come through the back door on so much of the world and it has served me rather well. Yes, I often feel ignorant, but at least the knowledge never sees me coming and I get the drop on it. There is a quality to not having been spoon-fed, that keeps me sharp and allows for depth. The universe sends me clues and I go investigate. It cuts down on the agendaed learning of the social norms and cuts me a wide swath beyond the common path. There are times when conformity is key; then again it’s a sweet thing to have a choice.





Level inequity

*

TAPERS

I wax poetic and burn the candle at both ends.
I borrow from the beginning, I steal from the end
And come up short; feeling deeply cheated.

I pass myself off as the time-keeper but am the time-pleaser
Arch-traitor selling short the days and hours
For approval not fulfillment.

I put away my true identity, mammal, human, the love of.
I have exchanged it for the mask and cape of the Do-do-doer.
A tragic figure of myth and legend who breaks the spirit
Of everyone who attempts the portrayal.

In spite of this the roads teem with actors
Becoming caricatures of a life less lived.
The world is more than a stage
And I must free powers greater than to be more than an audience.

[LeftWriteFemme]

November 29


John Grisham


My time hovering low over the ocean has filled me until I am ready to drop. The weight of what is inside me bears down; I know with the slightest cooperation I will become a rainmaker. I am mostly fine with this; I know from whence the rain was derived and I can let it fall in peace. What I don’t know how to handle is the acknowledgement. The difference between what I know and what you might think is vast and if I try to dissuade you I sound disingenuous or fraudulent. I have to get my head around the part I play and accept the roses when they come. I don’t understand how this looks from offstage or what it means to those who watch. I hope they will enjoy the work but never mistake me for the playwright.








Greet the day with open eyes


*

BLEATING FORMALITY

Stupidity stalks me when I’m tired
Hi-jacking my mouth and my mind
I can put this off to pilot error or interruption
Of service on my neurologic pipeline
But truly I have been captured
By senseless irrational mutinous.

I would love to say it was pig headedness
But alas I am not self-determined, I am a sheep
I open my lips and out pours the same
Plaintive cry as the surrounding herd.

In addition, once begun the wail is unending.
It’s as if the bellows works on its own
Carrying a tune which blends
With the entire wool coated world.

I shift and run with my position
According to the movements at large.
I am following the reactionary breed
Dropping the specifics of my personality
As one of the crowd, my brain switched off
And a quick veneer grows over my eyes

I can’t see, think or speak for myself
And yet it doesn’t occur to me to hit the hay.
When as a petulant three year old
I fall asleep in my tract, I awake as myself,
With many bleating apologies to be made.

[LeftWriteFemme]

November 30


Precious Cargo


Do I carry myself as well as I could? Do I understand the value of what is contained within me? This journey matters, it requires my attention and comprehension, if only I am able. When I fall short the road changes. The distance I go has much to do with how well and whether I acknowledge the nature of the cargo with which I am imbedded.







If you have to put your foot down; open your fist



*

WHAT IS MINE

The cloud of snow slept in the tree overnight
And poured from the branches with the morning breezes.
Showers of crystal, drop from a clear daylight sky
As a telltale of intentions delayed.

What was meant for moon time
Has been kept till sunshine
A treat for bright eyes and young hearts.
How can I weep over altered destinations?

Arrivals and departures are truly the province
Of poetry and postcards
Not a thing for worry or fretting.

Putty is for forming into an image of my desire not the worlds.
Time is a liquid substance I cannot decant at will.
Shoulds and aughts are parlor games for the bored and senseless.

If I waste my life playing a game I can’t win
I will fail to see what I can’t lose.

[LeftWriteFemme]

December 1

Poorly Chirping

She writes poetry like fusion jazz, more fun to make than to listen to. She stands at the podium serving as a bad example. I pray as she reads, “Lord, please don’t let me get sucked into the self-importance of bad poetry for the sake of peering peers, and forgetting to write what is there for the world, the readers, the things which bring the word pictures and sets them before me. Lord, remind me that the writing is not done for me, but done as Billy Collins quotes, for the love of strangers.”


Tops spin, do you?
*

DO WE SEE

The old man walked down the road to see the end,
I followed to glimpse the fruit of his pursuit.
Does the highway come to rest
Or like the river just feed a greater sea?

And time, will the clock stop him?
Can he win the treasure hunt
As the seconds tick away on the metronome?

Will the slowing of his steps
And the advancing of his age
Create a curve which will prevent his accomplishment?

Does this tag-along I am doing
Make me a part of his project?
The road is long and its end may never come, only ours.

When we take the road the road takes us.
More and less is what we are and so too the road.
I follow the contour of the ground
Which curves around the world
Spinning in our sky so we can all see the stars.

[LeftWriteFemme]

December 2


At The Dodge


I remember so long ago when I would come and sit and listen; soak in the poets and the Consort, sop it all into the sponge that listened and sat. I did not know exactly what they were doing and I didn’t know why I was there, but I went and had a soak. Now so many years hence I am the writer I never knew and I know just what they do because, I do it too!




Write a poem on your foot


*

GOOSE

I round this corner nearly every day.
There in the field stand a flock of problems,
Pecking the ground and flopping their wings.

Uniform and regular, the honking and squawking
Is undistinguishable from yesterday.

I ponder and squint, are these the same
Or yet another gaggle making their way
Along the migratory path?

Trouble is feral, skulking the edges of the field
But never sheltering in the yard.
I must leave my hands off
Knowing these are not mine.

The feathers fly and I gather the strays
Acutely aware of the ticklish nature of this.

Awkwardly I face the truth
No matter how much of a perplexity this is to me
Or others, it is only geese.

[LeftWriteFemme]

December 3




The Twelfth of April


When I met you, you were a power tagged and trapped in a box. A tiger caught by its toe and yet I could do nothing but fall under the spell of your roar. The suppressed growl you leave for me like an invitation I could never decline. I write to you a note of explanation; words testifying to my desire, which I promise to hold back out of respect for you. And a wish to survive my drive toward you and your furious stripes and claws. Your bite which I long to feel, yet know I must not ask for. When I inquire if you have read, you say with sanguine smile, “Read it to me.” When I am done and with tear stained face, all you reply is, “I have lost my taste for anyone but you.”



Keep an ear out for more than danger
*



GOOD SAMARITAN PIE

The meal prepared from my cognition,
The bread and jam of humility, salad of expectation,
Roast of determination and Good Samaritan pie
Wait on the table to be devoured.

The courses pass and come desert, my kindly intentions.
Are cut to wedges and pushed from setting to setting.
I can dollop after dollop cover the requisite desires
Of this tart in attempt to deny my addiction to fixing
Or I can serve up the plain truth.

I help and help, and wander down roads looking
For lost puppies to return to their homes.
I must admit my longing to lend support
Is sometimes half-baked and if kept to home and hearth
It might serve me better and make a sweeter dish.

Assistance is best in proportion to the meal
I must live my life and save my Good Samaritan pie till last.

[Lady_Di]

God Grant Me
Serenity to Accept
The Things I
Cannot Change
Change the Things I Can &
The Wisdom to Know the Difference

____________________________
note I am adding in his typos and capitalizations, as when I copied this from him this morning, it cracked me up... even his spacings, loved it
__________________________________________________ __

Living One Day At a Time

Enjoying One Moment At a Time

Accepting Hardship As The Pathway of Peace
Taking As He Did, This World As It is
Rather Than As I Would Have It

Trusting That He Will Make All
Things Right If I Surrender to His Will

That I Might Be Reasonably Happy In This Life
And Extremely Happy with Him in the Next

_____________________________________________

Zip A Dee Do Da
Zip A Dee A
My owe my
What a wonderful Day

Plenty of Sunshine
Coming My Way
Zip A Dee Do Da
Zip A Dee Day

Mr Blue Bird
On My Shoulder

Yes It's True

It's Actual
Everything Is
Satistfactual

Zip A Dee Do DA
Zip A Dee Day
Wonderful Feeling
Wonderful Day

_________________________________________

I go to a morning meeting every morning, come rain or shine, snow or blizzard...

And there is a core group of old, and I mean old timers that meet 50 minutes before the meeting to do pages 84-87

And they then finish this morning meditation, spiritual reawakening... with singing their blessed hearts out...

Zip a dee doo dah
Zip a dee day

oh what a feeling
oh what a day

_________________________________________

I swear to G.d that I fell into this group quite by accident, but imnsho... I think G.d wanted, needed me here. Big time.

I had been resting on my laurels, very lazy... now, I am active again and living life fully, with purpose. And I know today precisely what my purpose is, why I am here on earth.

I am here to be of Service. And those of you may remember that I used to have a tag line over at the old site...


In Service,
Lady Di


***We all serve, even the Queen of England serves. The question becomes... who do you serve?***


~haven't changed a bit, my essence, my very soul... the very heart of me is unchanging and full of love for all mankind. Even those who have done me wrong. I am not a saint... dats for sures!

Living and learning, growing in the spirit...

ODAAT,
Di


***still giggling from the "My Owe My"

my oh my... love me my fellow addicts and alcoholics

with that song stuck in my head...

tis a wonderful day to be clean and sober, especially grateful for my emotional sobriety, more than anything on earth at this moment~

[imadiva]

I have a question that I hope someone can answer..

If someone goes to AA and still takes a perscription medication (klonopin) are they considered Clean and Sober !!!!!!! It seems to numb all the feelings that I would think need to be delt with in order to stay sober ...

Thank you in advance ..

[Lady_Di]

Yes hon... Taking medicine as prescribed is an important component. Being teachable and listening to those that know more than we do... that is in the Big Book, btw.

I sponsor a lot of folks and always stress the importance of listening to their "outside" help. I am not their doctor. I am just there to help them learn how to do those steps, how to read the book and look up things that we do not understand, even stuff we once thought we understood in our arrogance, lol...

Being teachable is a huge deal. And listening to those knowledgeable doctors is imperative. I have buried one too many friends of mine along the way here. Even some with long term sobriety who were afraid to ask for that outside help when and if they needed it.

Keep Coming Back. And if anyone ever tells you, you are not clean and sober because you are taking the meds you were prescribed. Fire that person from your list of who you take advice from. I am in the medical community and I do not cotton to that load of bull hockey.

I have heard those that say that crap too, and have nailed them on it, anytime it comes up. And it does come up. Just because it might not be for them a necessary thing, does not mean it is not necessary for you.

Listen to your doctor.

nuff said.

d'anonymous 1

[LeftWriteFemme]

Originally Posted by imadiva

I have a question that I hope someone can answer..

If someone goes to AA and still takes a perscription medication (klonopin) are they considered Clean and Sober !!!!!!! It seems to numb all the feelings that I would think need to be delt with in order to stay sober ...

Thank you in advance ..

Hi, I know this is a Friends of Bill thread, but here is a link to a friends of Jimmy pamphlet you might find helpful. http://www.na.org/admin/include/spaw...%20Illness.pdf


Also I have it on good authority that the book Don't Risk your Recovery will soon be available on Amazon.


Best wishes,
Sherrie