Single FTM's & Femme's

ScandalAndy · 11-29-2011, 07:27 AM

Well, I was at dinner with a friend the other night, and the server referred to us as "ladies" again. I'm sick to death of being the one who gets all agitated and flatly states "he's a boy". Inevitably the server gets flustered and apologizes, and this person whom I've known for years now just sits there silently. I know he's pissed because he passes 100% of the time, it's just his voice that is the problem. He's property of the US government for the next 8 years, and while DADT has been repealed, being trans is still a big no-no.

I wish I knew how to handle these situations. I just get so outraged. One of us has to say something, and I know he doesn't correct people because he's too busy being in shock. Any suggestions? I'm not afraid to stand up and say something, I just wish it was less awkward.

KimbaYLRF · 11-29-2011, 08:05 AM

I have been this thread daily and I have never met a trans person in my life, but I feel what you all are going through.

I wish this was a time everyone was open-minded but sadly things are not like that. I would love someone no matter who or what they were so long as they are a good person.

Liam · 11-29-2011, 10:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ScandalAndy

Well, I was at dinner with a friend the other night, and the server referred to us as "ladies" again. I'm sick to death of being the one who gets all agitated and flatly states "he's a boy". Inevitably the server gets flustered and apologizes, and this person whom I've known for years now just sits there silently. I know he's pissed because he passes 100% of the time, it's just his voice that is the problem. He's property of the US government for the next 8 years, and while DADT has been repealed, being trans is still a big no-no.

I wish I knew how to handle these situations. I just get so outraged. One of us has to say something, and I know he doesn't correct people because he's too busy being in shock. Any suggestions? I'm not afraid to stand up and say something, I just wish it was less awkward.

I think humor goes a long way in situations like this, and laughter seems to quickly diffuse the tension for everyone in a scenario like the one you described.

Comments directed to your friend, while the server is present after their faux pas, such as, "Gee, I bet you wish you hadn't taken your Mama's Midol when you were a little boy!" or "Wayne Newton did well in Vegas with his voice, maybe we should go there."

It doesn't matter that Midol could never alter someone's voice, nor that your friend would never dream of singing in front of people. You are not jumping the server, and you are being supportive of your male friend, and hopefully everyone is smiling.

sarahwho · 11-29-2011, 11:17 AM

Hey there, hi there, ho there.....been around, just not

- had some bank issues, today that is straightened out, then I find out my son is spending my $$ at the academy, and NOT saying anything about it!

BUT now I know....I will NEVER be out from "under" -

11-29-2011, 07:27 AM	#1
ScandalAndy Member How Do You Identify?: human femme spitfire Preferred Pronoun?: she/her Relationship Status: it's official! Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: east coast USA Posts: 1,167 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,758 Thanked 3,217 Times in 753 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	Well, I was at dinner with a friend the other night, and the server referred to us as "ladies" again. I'm sick to death of being the one who gets all agitated and flatly states "he's a boy". Inevitably the server gets flustered and apologizes, and this person whom I've known for years now just sits there silently. I know he's pissed because he passes 100% of the time, it's just his voice that is the problem. He's property of the US government for the next 8 years, and while DADT has been repealed, being trans is still a big no-no. I wish I knew how to handle these situations. I just get so outraged. One of us has to say something, and I know he doesn't correct people because he's too busy being in shock. Any suggestions? I'm not afraid to stand up and say something, I just wish it was less awkward. __________________ The joy of discovery is certainly the liveliest that the mind of man can ever feel. - Claude Bernard (1813-78)

11-29-2011, 08:05 AM	#2
KimbaYLRF Junior Member How Do You Identify?: I originally posted femme, but not quite I am femme. Maybe a 'tweener. Relationship Status: On the way to being single Join Date: Nov 2011 Location: MA Posts: 61 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 149 Thanked 331 Times in 48 Posts Rep Power: 3875346	I have been this thread daily and I have never met a trans person in my life, but I feel what you all are going through. I wish this was a time everyone was open-minded but sadly things are not like that. I would love someone no matter who or what they were so long as they are a good person. __________________ This is life, not heaven, you do not have to be perfect.

11-29-2011, 11:17 AM	#4
sarahwho Member How Do You Identify?: lonely femme.... Preferred Pronoun?: her/she Relationship Status: single - I quit Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: Ohio Posts: 232 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 80 Thanked 152 Times in 69 Posts Rep Power: 2722345	Hey there, hi there, ho there.....been around, just not - had some bank issues, today that is straightened out, then I find out my son is spending my $$ at the academy, and NOT saying anything about it! BUT now I know....I will NEVER be out from "under" - __________________ You will find a girl prettier than me, smarter than me, and funnier than me, but you will never find a girl just like me.