What is Forgiveness?

PearlsNLace · 02-10-2010, 06:44 PM

Forgiveness is what I find after working my 4th and 5th step in recovery. Its something I do when I am finding myself really holding on to big hurts.

In the fourth step, for hose of you who are not familiar with the process, I write out my resentments. These are the things I am harboring grudges over. I write it out in a traditional “Big Book” way, with columns. One column for the person I resent, one for why I resent, one column for my part, and another for an affirmation or blessing for the situation.

In the fifth step I share this with another human, in my case, it’s my Sponsor who although not a licensed professional, he certainly knows this process well and is good at getting me to think. Im really blessed to have him in my life.

When it comes to Loves, and relationships, this is a part of what is the “sexual inventory”
By doing this enough, there are patterns of character defects in ME I get to see when I go through this process. I find that when ~ I'm~ really having a hard time letting go of a hurt, its because I personally am playing victim, I'm holding people up to my expectations, and/or I'm feeling quite entitled to an outcome I didn’t get.

Somehow, going through this process allows me to find forgiveness. For both myself and for the person I've written down in the first column.

02-10-2010, 06:44 PM	#12
PearlsNLace Member How Do You Identify?: queer Preferred Pronoun?: They/Them & her/she Relationship Status: Lucky, very lucky Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Portlandia, Oregon Posts: 427 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 875 Thanked 1,284 Times in 315 Posts Rep Power: 6505518	Forgiveness is what I find after working my 4th and 5th step in recovery. Its something I do when I am finding myself really holding on to big hurts. In the fourth step, for hose of you who are not familiar with the process, I write out my resentments. These are the things I am harboring grudges over. I write it out in a traditional “Big Book” way, with columns. One column for the person I resent, one for why I resent, one column for my part, and another for an affirmation or blessing for the situation. In the fifth step I share this with another human, in my case, it’s my Sponsor who although not a licensed professional, he certainly knows this process well and is good at getting me to think. Im really blessed to have him in my life. When it comes to Loves, and relationships, this is a part of what is the “sexual inventory” By doing this enough, there are patterns of character defects in ME I get to see when I go through this process. I find that when ~ I'm~ really having a hard time letting go of a hurt, its because I personally am playing victim, I'm holding people up to my expectations, and/or I'm feeling quite entitled to an outcome I didn’t get. Somehow, going through this process allows me to find forgiveness. For both myself and for the person I've written down in the first column.