5 things you never wanted to know about me.

[persiphone]

i hate gross feet. and i will stare at them thinking about how much they gross me out but i.still.can't.look.away. this includes funky toes.

unwashed hands before touching food will make me into instabitch.

i'm obsessed with the cleanliness of my kid's teeth. i must inspect them daily before i'll let him go to school/bed. i'm justified in this obsessiveness by the fact that he's gone 12 years without a cavity.

don't touch my boobies. i don't like it and you're doing it wrong anyway.

i'm so skilled at being vindictive and getting away with it that it's scary because i'm an opportunist. it's so scary that i'm very careful not to act this way cuz it's so harmful but i recognize those opportunities on a regular basis and refrain from acting on them. it's fun to play out in my head though.

[SoNotHer]

"Instabitch"? Is that a new energy drink that gives you a kick when you need it (and where you don't need it)?

Originally Posted by persiphone

i hate gross feet. and i will stare at them thinking about how much they gross me out but i.still.can't.look.away. this includes funky toes.

unwashed hands before touching food will make me into instabitch.

i'm obsessed with the cleanliness of my kid's teeth. i must inspect them daily before i'll let him go to school/bed. i'm justified in this obsessiveness by the fact that he's gone 12 years without a cavity.

don't touch my boobies. i don't like it and you're doing it wrong anyway.

i'm so skilled at being vindictive and getting away with it that it's scary because i'm an opportunist. it's so scary that i'm very careful not to act this way cuz it's so harmful but i recognize those opportunities on a regular basis and refrain from acting on them. it's fun to play out in my head though.

[Honey]

1. I live with the delusion that I AM Bob Villa and I CAN fix..This Old House. FALSE !!
2. My tool of choice ( Besides THAT ONE) is duct tape...I am up to 105 official uses
3.Don't take food from my plate..I don't know where your fingers have been (or maybe I do )
4. Although I don't want you touching my food, I have NO issues about using your toothbrush ...go figure ?
5. I have a personal philosophy: If I don't recognize it- it doesn't go in my mouth... Words to live by !!

[JAGG]

Originally Posted by Honey

1. I live with the delusion that I AM Bob Villa and I CAN fix..This Old House. FALSE !!
2. My tool of choice ( Besides THAT ONE) is duct tape...I am up to 105 official uses
3.Don't take food from my plate..I don't know where your fingers have been (or maybe I do )
4. Although I don't want you touching my food, I have NO issues about using your toothbrush ...go figure ?t
5. I have a personal philosophy: If I don't recognize it- it doesn't go in my mouth... Words to live by !!

Duct tape is not a tool, yes Mz Villa it is handy but that doesn't make it a tool. Just sayin. Ha

[Honey]

Originally Posted by JAGG

Duct tape is not a tool, yes Mz Villa it is handy but that doesn't make it a tool. Just sayin. Ha

Show and Tell, perhaps ??? And how perfect are we,...I destroy the house, and you can actually fix it!!! mmm and all that make up sex too !!! So using your toothbrush will be ok then ...cool !

[pinkgeek]

1) I do not like ice in my drinks or cold drinks in general. Not ice water, no cold soda, nada.. My cocktails can be shaken with ice but not served with it floating in my glass.

2) I watch period films when I have a crappy day.

3) I hate grocery shopping. If there was a shoe shop in the grocery store I'd likely be more inclined to go.

4) I don't actually like living in the city..

5) My snark is genetic..

[atomiczombie]

1. My favorite pair of shoes are my Caterpillar steel toe work boots.

2. I listen to jazz when I am happy and rock when I am not.

3. My best buddy and I are total dorks who love board games and dorky stuff like that.

4. My favorite holiday is Christmas, despite the fact that I am usually depressed during Christmas time every year.

5. I am going to take a class on mig welding this Saturday, and I am super psyched about learning how to weld!! ^_^

[persiphone]

Originally Posted by SoNotHer

"Instabitch"? Is that a new energy drink that gives you a kick when you need it (and where you don't need it)?

instabitch....the instantaneous transition from happy to pissed cuz i have no time or patience for stupid.

[Soft*Silver]

I have developed a real need for cheetos. I have always found this food to be Styrofoam covered in orange shavings until now and this truly humbles me about changes as we age...

I wont drink juice unless I know its literally freshly squeezed from the fruit right before it is handed to me

About the only times I am not dour is when I am with my animals or in my garden. I really am turning into the cranky old lady of the neighborhood...lol

My fashion sense has gone away. never strong to begin with, I have always been a wild card when it comes to dressing, but nowadays, I dress solely for comfort.

The older I get, the more Me I become. No longer layered in rising to expectation of others and the culture, i am surprising myself with having the courage and audacity of a post menopausal crone

[Sparkle]

I have runaway veins.

I read magazines back to front.

I have no nap ability.

I lost my big toenail after a large section of the set of Jesus Christ Superstar fell on my foot.

I've never been able to do a cart wheel. This has always bothered me.

[SoNotHer]

Of course I am sorry for the loss of your toenail, Sparkle, I lost a full set of toenails once borrowing smaller-sized shoes for a 10-mile run. But I am suppressing a laugh and of course want know part of the set, where you were standing, and what part you played...

Originally Posted by Sparkle

I lost my big toenail after a large section of the set of Jesus Christ Superstar fell on my foot.

[Ryobi]

Originally Posted by SoNotHer

Of course I am sorry for the loss of your toenail, Sparkle, I lost a full set of toenails once borrowing smaller-sized shoes for a 10-mile run. But I am suppressing a laugh and of course want know part of the set, where you were standing, and what part you played...

Probably the same piece that taught me to always wear steel toes for an in and an out.....always. I was standing mid-stage, playing the part of a stagehand. Now I'm wondering just how many people that set has maimed over it's running time. Its an awkward one.

[Semantics]

1. People who habitually use a lot of exclamation points in a row make me feel nervous, even through a computer screen. I feel like if I were close to them at that very moment they might be yelling or flailing their arms around.

2. I have a phobia about getting a paper cut in my eye and my friends like to irritate me by making paper airplanes while we're sitting in restaurants.

3. I'm not out at my job because one of the judges is notoriously biased against homosexuals and I don't want it to affect my clients. I resent feeling trapped in the closet by a puritanical old asshole so I always wear very high heels on days when I'm assigned to his courtroom because he's also quite short and towering over him makes me feel authoritative.

4. Sometimes I throw up on airplanes. It always happens when we're taking off so I can't do it in the privacy of the bathroom. The first time it happened I was fifteen and flying to Florida with friends and I didn't know what to do so I vomited down the front of my shirt. It's been almost twenty years since that first incident and a 24 hour fast and Dramamine before flying do wonders.

5. I get regular manicures, which is mostly a waste, because when I'm not working I tend to dress like a twelve year old boy. A twelve year old boy on his way to the skate park with a french manicure and a chignon.

[Honey]

1. I keep my vibrators in the bathroom: sometimes if i have a house full of
company, I will excuse myself to the bath rm and buzz just cuz I'm bored
not necessarily horny

2. If I am cooking, and accidentally flip a burger or dog or whatever to the
floor, I will serve it to somebody else


3. Once in a dark crowded restaurant I slid my hand up the waitress skirt. I
don't know why.

4. I sometimes tool about town in a tee shirt that says, DYKE

5. Once I got into a fight with my butch bf and snuck out at night when hy
was sleeping and punctured the tire on hys jeep with a kitchen knife

[kannon]

Originally Posted by Semantics

1. People who habitually use a lot of exclamation points in a row make me feel nervous, even through a computer screen. I feel like if I were close to them at that very moment they might be yelling or flailing their arms around.

2. I have a phobia about getting a paper cut in my eye and my friends like to irritate me by making paper airplanes while we're sitting in restaurants.

3. I'm not out at my job because one of the judges is notoriously biased against homosexuals and I don't want it to affect my clients. I resent feeling trapped in the closet by a puritanical old asshole so I always wear very high heels on days when I'm assigned to his courtroom because he's also quite short and towering over him makes me feel authoritative.

4. Sometimes I throw up on airplanes. It always happens when we're taking off so I can't do it in the privacy of the bathroom. The first time it happened I was fifteen and flying to Florida with friends and I didn't know what to do so I vomited down the front of my shirt. It's been almost twenty years since that first incident and a 24 hour fast and Dramamine before flying do wonders.

5. I get regular manicures, which is mostly a waste, because when I'm not working I tend to dress like a twelve year old boy. A twelve year old boy on his way to the skate park with a french manicure and a chignon.

Would this one make it easier?

[Semantics]

Originally Posted by kannon

Would this one make it easier?

Yes. I prefer a single flamboyant punctuation over the alternative.

[Parker]

Originally Posted by SoNotHer

4) I will change my voice to ensure you don't think I just woke up to take your call.

I do this too. lol

Originally Posted by Semantics

5. I get regular manicures, which is mostly a waste, because when I'm not working I tend to dress like a twelve year old boy. A twelve year old boy on his way to the skate park with a french manicure and a chignon.

Oddly, this is kinda hot.

Originally Posted by Honey

4. I sometimes tool about town in a tee shirt that says, DYKE

Not so oddly, this is also hot.

[Rook]

♦ I'm a chronic nailbiter, it's worse when Stressed. My family has tried thousands of ways to deter it, from peppers to money{my uncle offered $150 when i visited Connecticut only if my nails were naturally longer than his when i boarded the plane, given that I was visiting my father to Try and build bridges, I failed the offer..-shrug-}.

♦ If you're eating, and talking, don't expect me to follow the conversation. I need to read lips, watching someone slosh food with every word, isn't appealing, and if it's a Date? You're very lucky if I'm still sitting with u..

◘ If I'm in a rush, I'll take 5 minutes to bathe...if I'm stressed, I'll take 30 minutes, probably 2 more showers later on...Nothing to do with cleanliness, it takes me 5 minutes to get fully cleaned up...The rest is relaxing mode, sort of a comfort from water.

◘ Because I'm Profoundly Deaf, if I really don't want to 'hear' anything at the moment, say an argument, a tantrum, anything...I'll shut them off, take 'em off...It's blissful "silence"...U could bring hell on earth to rain fire on my ass, if i don't want to I won't wear 'em. If you're Deaf, I'll close my eyes -cheeky smile-

♣ Did I mention I'm a very stubborn Redhead?