How do you communicate when you're angry?

Rivkeh · 12-14-2011, 04:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Midnight

Ha! If I see you angry I'll keep my toes away from those heels!

...I don't get angry at just anyone

Midnight · 12-14-2011, 07:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rivkeh

...I don't get angry at just anyone

Good to know, but I think I'll still be wary Sunday :P

Sassy · 12-31-2011, 08:49 PM

Hijacking my own thread 'cause I need somewhere to vent about the crazy.........
-----------------------------------

Just the facts:
In our home there are 2 bathrooms. Mine, which is the larger one that stays generally clean and presentable for company. And Hers, which is off the bedroom and I don't set foot in because she lives like a bachelor.

Set scene:
I'm on the couch, in pain with stomach cramps, doped up on percoset... I've been this way for 3 days. I'm in pain. I'm stoned. I'm one pitiful gal. Hair ain't been washed. Same PJs as I put on when I got home from the ER 2 days earlier, which is where I got the Percoset. I'm asleep. OK, more like comatose. I only wake up to dash to the bathroom. You see, I spent time at the ER in agony with stomach cramps because of stomach ulcers from stress. (Me? Stressed? Imagine that...) On top of that, the recent visit with family brought me into contact with my adorable, germ-toting nephews. So there's the scene. Pitiful, ulcer-having, stomach-bug sick me, on the couch, in a drug-induced coma....

Enter Significant Other:
Speaking in loud, short words as if she's ranting to an idiot child..... "IF YOU USE ALL OF THE TOILET PAPER YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO OPEN A NEW PACK AND PUT A NEW ROLL ON THE STAND. IT'S IN THE CLOSET. IN CASE YOU WEREN'T AWARE OF WHERE WE KEEP THE TOILET PAPER." *stomps off, (supposedly to now put the toilet paper on the fancy TP rack in MY bathroom... you know, the germ-infested room of doom that she never otherwise uses until today...)*

It took me a full 2 or 3 minutes to process what had just happened. And then I rolled over and closed my eyes again to endure more stomach cramps.

A few hours later I pointed out that she was a jerk. She grudgingly apologized for waking me up but continued to assert that she had cause to complain. (Huh?!)

Trey339 · 01-10-2012, 03:53 PM

Its best to say nothing in anger,,,if you happen to find yourself there one day,,, walk away,,,keep your dignity and self respect,,, you can always say it later,,, but you cant take words back once theyre said

mariamma · 01-23-2012, 02:00 AM

Loudly. And I annunciate well in order that the listener may understand my words. Honestly, if I get to that point, you better make sure to listen well. If not, you might want to put some distance between us.

01-23-2012, 04:36 AM

Badly.....

pajama · 01-23-2012, 06:49 AM

Usually with alot of expletives.

*Anya* · 01-23-2012, 08:45 AM

I work hard to verbalize how I am feeling and to be thoughtful about it. I can be reactive and do know this about myself so I am always paying attention to how I feel and to make sure I don't respond out of anger.

It makes it so much easier to have a partner that actually listens, evaluates what I have to say and does not become defensive.

When both involved do that, without defensiveness, resolution can occur and everyone feels heard.

I never hit below the belt, have power struggles or use knowlege of vulnerabilities as a weapon. That kind of ugliness will surely destroy a relationship and can never be forgiven.

Compromise is everything in a functional and loving relationship to me.

01-23-2012, 08:45 AM	#8
Anya Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Lesbian non-stone femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, her Relationship Status: Committed to being good to myself Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: West Coast Posts: 8,258 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 39,306 Thanked 40,462 Times in 7,284 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	I work hard to verbalize how I am feeling and to be thoughtful about it. I can be reactive and do know this about myself so I am always paying attention to how I feel and to make sure I don't respond out of anger. It makes it so much easier to have a partner that actually listens, evaluates what I have to say and does not become defensive. When both involved do that, without defensiveness, resolution can occur and everyone feels heard. I never hit below the belt, have power struggles or use knowlege of vulnerabilities as a weapon. That kind of ugliness will surely destroy a relationship and can never be forgiven. Compromise is everything in a functional and loving relationship to me. __________________ ~Anya~ Democracy Dies in Darkness ~Washington Post "...I'm deeply concerned by recently adopted policies which punish children for their parents’ actions ... The thought that any State would seek to deter parents by inflicting such abuse on children is unconscionable." UN Human Rights commissioner

12-31-2011, 08:49 PM	#3
Sassy Member How Do You Identify?: Female Relationship Status: Together Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: In the sunshine Posts: 598 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 815 Thanked 1,929 Times in 460 Posts Rep Power: 19641164	Hijacking my own thread 'cause I need somewhere to vent about the crazy......... ----------------------------------- Just the facts: In our home there are 2 bathrooms. Mine, which is the larger one that stays generally clean and presentable for company. And Hers, which is off the bedroom and I don't set foot in because she lives like a bachelor. Set scene: I'm on the couch, in pain with stomach cramps, doped up on percoset... I've been this way for 3 days. I'm in pain. I'm stoned. I'm one pitiful gal. Hair ain't been washed. Same PJs as I put on when I got home from the ER 2 days earlier, which is where I got the Percoset. I'm asleep. OK, more like comatose. I only wake up to dash to the bathroom. You see, I spent time at the ER in agony with stomach cramps because of stomach ulcers from stress. (Me? Stressed? Imagine that...) On top of that, the recent visit with family brought me into contact with my adorable, germ-toting nephews. So there's the scene. Pitiful, ulcer-having, stomach-bug sick me, on the couch, in a drug-induced coma.... Enter Significant Other: Speaking in loud, short words as if she's ranting to an idiot child..... "IF YOU USE ALL OF THE *TOILET PAPER* YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO OPEN A *NEW PACK* AND PUT A *NEW ROLL* ON THE STAND. IT'S IN THE *CLOSET.* IN CASE YOU WEREN'T AWARE OF WHERE WE KEEP THE *TOILET PAPER." stomps off, (supposedly to now put the toilet paper on the fancy TP rack in MY bathroom... you know, the germ-infested room of doom that she never otherwise uses until today...)* It took me a full 2 or 3 minutes to process what had just happened. And then I rolled over and closed my eyes again to endure more stomach cramps. A few hours later I pointed out that she was a jerk. She grudgingly apologized for waking me up but continued to assert that she had cause to complain. (Huh?!)

01-10-2012, 03:53 PM	#4
Trey339 Member How Do You Identify?: Gq Butch Dom Preferred Pronoun?: Trey Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: united states Posts: 350 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 814 Thanked 864 Times in 216 Posts Rep Power: 8640663	Its best to say nothing in anger,,,if you happen to find yourself there one day,,, walk away,,,keep your dignity and self respect,,, you can always say it later,,, but you cant take words back once theyre said

01-23-2012, 02:00 AM	#5
mariamma Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: single Join Date: May 2011 Location: Oregon Posts: 352 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,458 Thanked 1,115 Times in 281 Posts Rep Power: 9628891	Loudly. And I annunciate well in order that the listener may understand my words. Honestly, if I get to that point, you better make sure to listen well. If not, you might want to put some distance between us.

01-23-2012, 04:36 AM	#6
Daktari Guest Tournaments Won: 1 Posts: n/a My Photo Gallery	Badly.....

01-23-2012, 06:49 AM	#7
pajama Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Klingon Preferred Pronoun?: She Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Just South of Nashvegas Baby Posts: 3,115 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 7,546 Thanked 7,476 Times in 1,808 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	Usually with alot of expletives.