What are your three non-negotiables (in a relationship)?

[Rockinonahigh]

Just three?Life isnt that simple at all,I wish it was.

First it would have to be..Honesty, integraty and truthfullness.

Second...Its a big must..be a grown adult that takes responsablity that includes a job or incom with a bank account that u can use.Beleave me when I say I dont need your suport or access to ur bank account,I have my own thank u.

Thirdly-If ur r a cheeter or player or big old drama queen....please dont apply fore this relationship.I am not big enought nor do I want to ride that rollercoaster u r on.I can deal with normal stuff but this dramaramma stuff is a no go.
Forth-I told u it had to be more than three.I have my disablities to deal with,understand I wont all ways be 100% or even colse to it,I will be glad to discuss it with u anytime...I will also do the same for u if u have a issue u need to talk about.

More later.

[weatherboi]

a healthy heart
a hungry soul
a critical thinking brain

This boy got lucky!!!

[Passionaria]

Only three? I may have to be a serial poster! If these three qualities are present, there is a strong enough connection (for me) to work through the more negotiable stuff.

1. Chemistry, undeniable chemistry. I think that is a combination of a physical, heart and soul connection. Just got to have some.....

2. Emotional honesty, served with fineness.

3. Tenderness of heart with a very naughty edge.

Sometimes 3=5. *Blinks*

[Inuus]

1. Must be an animal lover. If ya dont like animals it aint gonna work with me

2. Kindness, compassion, empathy, understanding

3. NO active addiction and yes that includes online stuff.

[sara-bera]

1a. dominant and peaceful nature
1b. non-smoker
2. kindness
3. maturity

[Starbuck]

1. Have good communication skills and is a good speller.
2. Knows the difference between your and you're.
3. Knows the difference between their, there, and they're.
They're smart and can have an intelligent conversation

[Glenn]

My three must haves have changed through the years like this:
Sex sex sex
Respect sex sex
Committment respect sex
Working out respect committment
And I suspect by the time I reach my eighties, the working out will be replaced by patience.

[Martina]

Understands addiction and respects addicts

[Amber2010]

!) Respect: Honesty is something everyone wants but if you respect the person than you are honest anyways on the things that matter in that relationship. You shouldn’t have to tell the person your life story the honesty I am talking about is in the respect of the person and your relationship. So I would have to say being respectful of the others wants, needs, and desires and wanting to give them what makes them the special person you believe they are.
2) Non Judgmental: Since we have the respect of the person in all things that pertain to our relationship by not judging the person from their past or what they are looking for. Sometimes in a relationship someone will tell you they want “such and such” and you feel that is not what you ever even thought about. By not judging and wanting to give that person their fantasy in the relationship not only is this a great relationship but a loving one as well.
3) No trashing when the end comes: Everything that goes up must come down. We all want to say our relationship with “such and such” will last forever but things happen. People grow apart; want different things or whatever the reason it becomes time to move on. On a good or bad note or however it ends we must realize there was and always will be that special place for that person inside of us. Some of us may not want to believe that or even understand it but we changed in some way because of that other person. By trashing that person’s name or whatever way anger brings you there you are not only hurting that other person but yourself even more. That old saying “If you don’t have something nice to say doesn’t say anything at all!” Is so true.
These are just mine. You don’t have to agree with me. Thanks for listening.

[Girl_On_Fire]

1. Must have a valid driver's license. (You'd be amazed)
2. Must be a Top of some sort. (No babybois anymore. You're cute. It's just not going to work)
3. Must be calmer than me. (This isn't hard to do)

[easygoingfemme]

Three? Jeeze.
Um okay

No smoking, drugs, or drinking to excess (yes, I'm counting that as one thank you very much)
Open honest communication, no matter how hard.
Understand that I am a mother and while my child does take up a big place in my heart it doesn't mean you can't take up a big place too.

[Talon]

[QUOTE=easygoingfemme;678607]Three? Jeeze.
Um okay

No smoking, drugs, or drinking to excess (yes, I'm counting that as one thank you very much)
Open honest communication, no matter how hard.
Understand that I am a mother and while my child does take up a big place in my heart it doesn't mean you can't take up a big place too.[/Q OTE]

`~Talon's response :

*1* ---Do not snore
*2*---Do NOT fart in my bed
*3*---Do not fart in my presence
*4*---Plese work out regularly.
*5*---Eat and dine resonsibility. Out or in.
*6*---Love animals, nature, the endless sea....and watching sunsets.
*7*---Be a loyal and genuine friend
*8*---Treat others as you would hope to be treated.
*9 * Take good care of yourself (phsyically, spiritually, open-mindedness, Romantic.

PS. : Ambitious....know the right from the wrong. (C'mon...You know the differece

I want to be the priority in your life, and you will be mine, of course


`~ Love me as you would want to truely loved...THIS IS NOT NEGOTIABLE.


...And believe me..... I will kow you and be able to read what type of person you *really# are underneath it all.

[LadyRieinAL]

Non-negotiables
Having an affair - don't do it
Abusing Alcohol and drugs - don't do it
Being disrespectful - don't do it

[femm_cb]

1) My partner has to be independent. I don't want someone who ALWAYS looks to me to be their only source of entertainment. I want my partner to have their own friends and time away to spend with them.

2) Honesty - I want some who can be honest no matter what. It's ok to lie to me about my birthday surprise or Christmas surprise or what have you, but if I ask you something that is important, don't lie!

3) Violent/volatile personality. The fist time you raise your hand in a fit of anger, I'm done and I WILL walk away regardless of how many years I have into the relationship. I have zero tolerance of domestic violence of any kind.

4) If you smoke, inhale and/or ingest anything stronger than "devils cabbage*, I will walk away. I do absolutely no illegal drug and will not tolerate it (but I do think pot should be legal)

[MsBluem]

I've only got a couple non-negotiables. Respect the fact my daughter is a huge priority in my life. You don't have to be involved with her but you have to understand that she means more to me than pretty much anything else in the world. The other is I'm polyamorous. You don't have to be and I'm fine with being exclusive but understand that there might come a time when I meet someone else I'd like to get to know.

[laruss]

Don't hit me.
Don't lie to me.
Don't cheat.

These are absolutely non-negotiable.

[EnderD_503]

1. First and foremost communication. Communication of barriers, I'm one of these people who is absolutely paranoid about consent stuff. Some people don't feel comfortable expressing barriers or when something suddenly triggers them...I need to know. It doesn't matter if you want to explore sleeping with someone else, if you want a hotdog instead of a hamburger, if you need space whatever. Everything's fine as long as there's communication of some kind. Doesn't even always have to be verbal or immediate.

2. Chemistry

3. Similar politics/respect/openness (all kind of linked for me)

[Soft*Silver]

its been a couple years since this thread started and I posted my 12 must non negotiables (I got carried away..lol)

alot has happened in those years. Mostly, I have been away from some sad and hurtful relationships that influenced my posts. And thankfully, I have been in a wonderful happy relationship. And am about to be married to this person.

I have to say, being content in a relationships has made my list of non negotiables almost non existent. I mean, I wouldnt tolerate abuse of any kind, but I cant imagine being abused in any way by him.

I wouldnt want to get cheated on, but I would have to examine why he cheated and realize it was a symptom, not a character trait. I cant imagine him cheating on me. I could imagine him asking for a more open relationship...perhaps even poly. And in the past that might have been a deal breaker but not with him. Not now in my life.

Cleanliness is SO important. I gag over poor hygiene. But I dont worry about that with him. We meet each other's standards of hygiene very well. And when I have been sick, medically, with sugeries and looking my worst, he never flinched taking care of me and loving me.

I am just not sure what the non negotiables would be with us. I know what they have been with others...my list could have been alot longer than 12...but then, it has been narrowed down to....well...none.

its kinda nice not to have to put up defenses and stake out lines to be drawn...

this is so smooth...

[imperfect_cupcake]

in order of importance:

1) sarky, playful sense of humour - doesn't take things too seriously

2) kinky, higher sex drive

3) consistent with feelings, moody is fine as long as it's not shot at me, but I can't deal with being really into me for three weeks then weirdly distance for a week, then really intense for two, then distant for nine days... does my head in. At least a "I'm tired and need to slip off radar for a bit, see you in a few days" would be good and no four texts messages, two emails and a phone call every day during the "intense" phase. I know WAY too many people like this. I am a magnet for it.

[CA_BabyCakes]

1) Sense of humor a giant must!!!

2) Patience, im not always the easiest girl to deal with

3) Big boi physique! Im a big girl, don't wanna worry about hurting anyone