Baby Butch Journey

blucollargrl · 12-19-2011, 09:22 PM

So winter here in the midwest might be a warm one, maybe even hot

, after all. Good conversation with her tonight after much pondering on both our parts. She's scared, I'm scared, but we're going to give it a shot. We love each other and hopefully that's enough.

Thanks again for you're thoughts. It is much appreciated.!!

DapperButch · 12-20-2011, 06:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blucollargrl

So winter here in the midwest might be a warm one, maybe even hot

, after all. Good conversation with her tonight after much pondering on both our parts. She's scared, I'm scared, but we're going to give it a shot. We love each other and hopefully that's enough.

Thanks again for you're thoughts. It is much appreciated.!!

So is she willing to come OUT with your relationship? Is she willing to let everyone know?

ruffryder · 12-20-2011, 02:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blucollargrl

So winter here in the midwest might be a warm one, maybe even hot

, after all. Good conversation with her tonight after much pondering on both our parts. She's scared, I'm scared, but we're going to give it a shot. We love each other and hopefully that's enough.

Thanks again for you're thoughts. It is much appreciated.!!

I appreciate you starting this thread. People have been there, done this. I hope you take the advice given here. It is good to get a 3rd party advice. People always say the heart knows what it knows. You cannot tell it how to feel. I'm glad you are having conversation about this with her. I do not agree that she is keeping you a secret from the world. The only thing I can think of is what you said is that you are both scared and maybe just starting to explore the start of a relationship. Give it a shot, give it time. Keep communicating about what you both want. Do not be a secret to the world though when you are ready to commit and she's not. Love is enough if that it is what it is buddy and hopefully for your sake she's just loving you. Good luck. Keep us posted and come back for more advice if you need to.

blucollargrl · 01-05-2012, 04:12 PM

I should have listened to some of the advice I received from this thread. I gave all I had and it wasn't enough. Tapped out emotionally and financially....not that I had a lot of money to begin with. Just sayin. A lesson well learned......don't give your heart to quickly or completely, especially when the other person is emotionally unavailable. It was all great advice, I just had to find out for myself I guess!!! Argghhhh!!

Novelafemme · 01-05-2012, 04:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blucollargrl

I should have listened to some of the advice I received from this thread. I gave all I had and it wasn't enough. Tapped out emotionally and financially....not that I had a lot of money to begin with. Just sayin. A lesson well learned......don't give your heart to quickly or completely, especially when the other person is emotionally unavailable. It was all great advice, I just had to find out for myself I guess!!! Argghhhh!!

{{{{{blu}}}}} i'm so sorry you got hurt.

blucollargrl · 01-05-2012, 04:25 PM

hugs are awesome!! Thanks!

UofMfan · 01-05-2012, 04:28 PM

I agree with Corkey.

Sometimes even when great advice is given, if it is not what we want to hear, we go ahead and do what we want to do anyway.

Some lessons we need to learn for ourselves.

Don't beat yourself over it, just learn and grow from it.

Corkey · 01-05-2012, 04:36 PM

I'd like to put some emphasis on the heal part. Take some time to understand what happened and the why of it, including your part in it. Folks make the worst mistakes by jumping into relationships they just aren't ready for because they haven't taken the time to learn from the last one. . Its human nature to want to be paired up, in some form and fashion. Growing from the healing is so much easier and the lessons tend not to have to be repeated.
My.05

Corkey · 01-05-2012, 04:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blucollargrl

I should have listened to some of the advice I received from this thread. I gave all I had and it wasn't enough. Tapped out emotionally and financially....not that I had a lot of money to begin with. Just sayin. A lesson well learned......don't give your heart to quickly or completely, especially when the other person is emotionally unavailable. It was all great advice, I just had to find out for myself I guess!!! Argghhhh!!

Don't beat yourself up over stuff you can't control. Learn and grow from this and heal before you try again.

bitcrazy · 01-05-2012, 04:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blucollargrl

I should have listened to some of the advice I received from this thread. I gave all I had and it wasn't enough. Tapped out emotionally and financially....not that I had a lot of money to begin with. Just sayin. A lesson well learned......don't give your heart to quickly or completely, especially when the other person is emotionally unavailable. It was all great advice, I just had to find out for myself I guess!!! Argghhhh!!

__________________________________________________ _____________
My grandma used to tell me - the key to success in life is not making mistakes. You need to learn from your mistakes and be wise enough to avoid repeating them again. My $0.02. Good luck and may the new year bring a new tide in your life.

Abigail Crabby · 01-05-2012, 05:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blucollargrl

I should have listened to some of the advice I received from this thread. I gave all I had and it wasn't enough. Tapped out emotionally and financially....not that I had a lot of money to begin with. Just sayin. A lesson well learned......don't give your heart to quickly or completely, especially when the other person is emotionally unavailable. It was all great advice, I just had to find out for myself I guess!!! Argghhhh!!

Advice is always great - but we as human beings tend to listen to our inner thoughts and learn the lessons needed.

Don't beat yourself up over this - mistakes are made and gotten over. Hearts get broken and mend....

The best part is when the time is right - you will be available for the perfect person for you.....

blucollargrl · 01-05-2012, 09:47 PM

I love this sight....everyone is so helpful and things aren't sugarcoated!! Makes it easier for a baby butch to find her way.

blucollargrl · 01-06-2012, 01:24 PM

Light bulb moment!! Being new to this butch/femme dynamic I had no idea how my mind and body would react to it. It made me physically feel things that were foreign to me and sent my mind in to a tail spin. Having that strong attraction to a femme was as new to me as it was natural. I don't know if anyone else has felt this way, but I never saw myself as "butch". I can thank a good friend of mine....who for a "new" lesbian, suprisingly saw it before I did......for opening my eyes and unknowingly helping me be who I am. Then out of nowhere there's this beautiful femme. She drew me to her like a magnet without knowing it. I didn't even know it and I didn't understand it. But it felt like home. If there are "baby butches", (i don't know if that's the right term, but it works) out there like myself, the one thing I can say to them is to educate yourselves, take it slow and don't let it overwhelm you. It's a crazy, beautiful, intense wonderful ride.......this butch/femme dynamic and I have so much more to learn. You all have helped in more ways than you know. I'm looking forward to continuing my journey. I never knew the touch of a femme could drop me to my knees!! Wow!

Toughy · 01-06-2012, 04:12 PM

Quote:

I never knew the touch of a femme could drop me to my knees!! Wow!

from an 'old butch'......40 years later and that feeling still exists for me...

Sachita · 01-08-2012, 08:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blucollargrl

Light bulb moment!! Being new to this butch/femme dynamic I had no idea how my mind and body would react to it. It made me physically feel things that were foreign to me and sent my mind in to a tail spin. Having that strong attraction to a femme was as new to me as it was natural. I don't know if anyone else has felt this way, but I never saw myself as "butch". I can thank a good friend of mine....who for a "new" lesbian, suprisingly saw it before I did......for opening my eyes and unknowingly helping me be who I am. Then out of nowhere there's this beautiful femme. She drew me to her like a magnet without knowing it. I didn't even know it and I didn't understand it. But it felt like home. If there are "baby butches", (i don't know if that's the right term, but it works) out there like myself, the one thing I can say to them is to educate yourselves, take it slow and don't let it overwhelm you. It's a crazy, beautiful, intense wonderful ride.......this butch/femme dynamic and I have so much more to learn. You all have helped in more ways than you know. I'm looking forward to continuing my journey. I never knew the touch of a femme could drop me to my knees!! Wow!

Its sounds like you feel in love with the experience and its not just about the woman. I'm not saying you didn't have feelings for her but that the first connection is always "WOW" and your hormones can get the best of you, for sure! It's not a bad thing but looking at the whole picture you want all the elements there for a good relationship. People laugh at me because I approach relationships like business partners, in a sense. Yes I want chemistry but everything else has to make sense. You've got to really like and respect the person you're going to spend in and day out with. If you base it strictly on lust then you're making a big mistake.

Bootsandheels · 01-10-2012, 08:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blucollargrl

Light bulb moment!! Being new to this butch/femme dynamic I had no idea how my mind and body would react to it. It made me physically feel things that were foreign to me and sent my mind in to a tail spin. Having that strong attraction to a femme was as new to me as it was natural. I don't know if anyone else has felt this way, but I never saw myself as "butch". I can thank a good friend of mine....who for a "new" lesbian, suprisingly saw it before I did......for opening my eyes and unknowingly helping me be who I am. Then out of nowhere there's this beautiful femme. She drew me to her like a magnet without knowing it. I didn't even know it and I didn't understand it. But it felt like home. If there are "baby butches", (i don't know if that's the right term, but it works) out there like myself, the one thing I can say to them is to educate yourselves, take it slow and don't let it overwhelm you. It's a crazy, beautiful, intense wonderful ride.......this butch/femme dynamic and I have so much more to learn. You all have helped in more ways than you know. I'm looking forward to continuing my journey. I never knew the touch of a femme could drop me to my knees!! Wow!

Good Luck to you Blu...she will be a very lucky femme to hold your heart and keep you...

12-19-2011, 09:22 PM	#1
blucollargrl Junior Member How Do You Identify?: butch Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: never find another like her Join Date: Nov 2011 Location: seattle Posts: 13 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 59 Thanked 52 Times in 9 Posts Rep Power: 1573154	New Update.....and thanks for all of you're thoughts! So winter here in the midwest might be a warm one, maybe even hot , after all. Good conversation with her tonight after much pondering on both our parts. She's scared, I'm scared, but we're going to give it a shot. We love each other and hopefully that's enough. Thanks again for you're thoughts. It is much appreciated.!! __________________ :

01-05-2012, 04:12 PM	#4
blucollargrl Junior Member How Do You Identify?: butch Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: never find another like her Join Date: Nov 2011 Location: seattle Posts: 13 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 59 Thanked 52 Times in 9 Posts Rep Power: 1573154	I should have listened to some of the advice I received from this thread. I gave all I had and it wasn't enough. Tapped out emotionally and financially....not that I had a lot of money to begin with. Just sayin. A lesson well learned......don't give your heart to quickly or completely, especially when the other person is emotionally unavailable. It was all great advice, I just had to find out for myself I guess!!! Argghhhh!! __________________ :

01-05-2012, 04:25 PM	#6
blucollargrl Junior Member How Do You Identify?: butch Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: never find another like her Join Date: Nov 2011 Location: seattle Posts: 13 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 59 Thanked 52 Times in 9 Posts Rep Power: 1573154	hugs are awesome!! Thanks! __________________ :

01-05-2012, 04:36 PM	#8
Corkey Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Human Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: Very Married Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Where I want to be Posts: 8,155 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 47,491 Thanked 29,268 Times in 6,637 Posts Rep Power: 21474859	I'd like to put some emphasis on the heal part. Take some time to understand what happened and the why of it, including your part in it. Folks make the worst mistakes by jumping into relationships they just aren't ready for because they haven't taken the time to learn from the last one. . Its human nature to want to be paired up, in some form and fashion. Growing from the healing is so much easier and the lessons tend not to have to be repeated. My.05 __________________ "Many proposals have been made to us to adopt your laws, your religion, your manners and your customs. We would be better pleased with beholding the good effects of these doctrines in your own practices, than with hearing you talk about them". ~Old Tassel, Chief of the Tsalagi (Cherokee)

01-05-2012, 09:47 PM	#12
blucollargrl Junior Member How Do You Identify?: butch Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: never find another like her Join Date: Nov 2011 Location: seattle Posts: 13 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 59 Thanked 52 Times in 9 Posts Rep Power: 1573154	I love this sight....everyone is so helpful and things aren't sugarcoated!! Makes it easier for a baby butch to find her way. __________________ :

01-05-2012, 04:28 PM	#7
UofMfan Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Relationship Status: A very happy Mr. Grumpy Cat Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Neither here or there Posts: 7,987 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 27,733 Thanked 18,937 Times in 4,705 Posts Rep Power: 21474859	I agree with Corkey. Sometimes even when great advice is given, if it is not what we want to hear, we go ahead and do what we want to do anyway. Some lessons we need to learn for ourselves. Don't beat yourself over it, just learn and grow from it.

01-06-2012, 01:24 PM	#13
blucollargrl Junior Member How Do You Identify?: butch Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: never find another like her Join Date: Nov 2011 Location: seattle Posts: 13 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 59 Thanked 52 Times in 9 Posts Rep Power: 1573154	Light bulb moment!! Being new to this butch/femme dynamic I had no idea how my mind and body would react to it. It made me physically feel things that were foreign to me and sent my mind in to a tail spin. Having that strong attraction to a femme was as new to me as it was natural. I don't know if anyone else has felt this way, but I never saw myself as "butch". I can thank a good friend of mine....who for a "new" lesbian, suprisingly saw it before I did......for opening my eyes and unknowingly helping me be who I am. Then out of nowhere there's this beautiful femme. She drew me to her like a magnet without knowing it. I didn't even know it and I didn't understand it. But it felt like home. If there are "baby butches", (i don't know if that's the right term, but it works) out there like myself, the one thing I can say to them is to educate yourselves, take it slow and don't let it overwhelm you. It's a crazy, beautiful, intense wonderful ride.......this butch/femme dynamic and I have so much more to learn. You all have helped in more ways than you know. I'm looking forward to continuing my journey. I never knew the touch of a femme could drop me to my knees!! Wow! __________________ :