What are your three non-negotiables (in a relationship)?

Ciaran · 01-08-2012, 11:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 1QuirkyKiwi

It's a deal! Which half do you want?

I'll take the top half. You're welcome to the dangling legs.

ButchKnight · 01-09-2012, 12:40 AM

ok here it goes

smoking cigs
excessive drug alcohol use
being a republican

there are more but theses are biggies

BK

1QuirkyKiwi · 01-09-2012, 07:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ciaran

I'll take the top half. You're welcome to the dangling legs.

Errr....hang on! Just because I'm part French doesn't mean I like frog legs, ya know! LOL! I was thinking more on the lines of splittin' 'im straight down the middle....equal halves an' awl tha'! LOL!

adorable · 01-25-2012, 01:13 PM

There are more non-negotiables in a relationship, but these are my top three:

Know the rules of engagement. Nothing else is attractive. My home is a sanctuary, a safe base. I have never had a relationship (after age 17) where there was fighting, intense disagreements, screaming, or even slamming of doors. (I did have a significant relationship, where, when she became very sick five years in, it resulted in some Jerry Springer like stuff – it was understandably different and not the norm for us.)

Know thyself. It’s hard to convey the importance of this or how seriously I take it. I have no desire to be your therapist, mother or boss. I don’t want to figure you out or sort through your problems. I want to be me and for you to be you. Yes, we all have issues sometimes. At this point in our lives though, we should have a good handle on our inner core – the shaky ground should be long behind us. I am a rock that can manage almost any situation. I want a fellow rock, not the person that depends on one.

Be passionate. About something. Anything. The things you can’t wait to do in your free time. Those things that you never get tired of reading about, thinking about, participating in, or fighting for. There is nothing more exciting or engaging than talking to someone that is passionate about something. I’ve had some of the most fascinating conversations with someone who writes mathematical theory that only he and four other people in the world understand. (I'm still not one of those four.) It’s mind boggling to me, but his intensity is awe inspiring. I am passionate about several things. To me those are the most authentic of human interactions. I treasure sharing them.

SweetJane · 01-25-2012, 05:56 PM

Non-negotiables?

Excessive alcohol

Lying

Cheating

(Already dealt with all three. Don't want to go back there.)

genghisfawn · 01-25-2012, 06:11 PM

Dishonesty

Dishonour

Disrespect

Talon · 07-13-2012, 12:34 PM

Intellect....Integrity....Powerfulness.

thedivahrrrself · 07-13-2012, 01:04 PM

3 must-haves:

Intellect/Wit/Humour - they all go together. Conversation is the root of any good relationship, and without these things, our conversations would be dull.

Passion - I would prefer you to be passionate about me, of course, but you should be passionate about something else, or several somethings. I often refer to this as geekiness. You should know more than I do about something, be willing to educate me on the subject, and be willing to listen to the things I am passionate about, which you may be surprised to learn, is more than just shoes.

But you're probably going to have to listen to me chatter about shoes too.

Physical affection - some people are just not huggers, or touchers. They should find people like themselves to couple up with. I need to be touched, hugged, kissed, etc (etc etc etc) as often as possible.

3 must-nots:

lying jerks - I could probably forgive a cheater if they were at least HONEST about it. It's the lying that kills me.

lazy fucks - I'm too hyper for you. I am not one just to sit around all day.

mean/rude bastards - If you're can't be nice to your waitress, the homeless guy you see, or the people who work for you, odds are you won't be nice to me for very long. My theory is, you can treat anyone the way you treat anyone else. I'm not special. You can't say, "Oh, I'm a jerk to this guy, but I'd never treat you that way." Yes, you would. I just haven't pissed you off yet.

Beloved · 07-13-2012, 01:12 PM

Let's see...

Mine are...

Must be intelligent
Drug or alcohol addiction (in the past is ok, just not current)
Dislike of children because I have one
Dislike of animals
Unemployed, you must have job or actively seeking one. I am not your sugar momma.
Smoking if they are not trying to stop
Conservatives (sorry but we would fight all the time)
Hygiene and clean teeth (I'm a dental hygienist)
Must treat people with respect
People who need anger management
Lying
Cheaters
Responsible
I require attention. Must be attentive.
Must be emotionally available

I may have more. I need to think about it.

07-13-2012, 12:34 PM	#7
Talon Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Divine Feminine Preferred Pronoun?: . Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: . Posts: 4,921 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 16,246 Thanked 10,223 Times in 3,305 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	My 3 Intellect....Integrity....Powerfulness.

01-09-2012, 12:40 AM	#2
ButchKnight Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Lesbian Preferred Pronoun?: Butch/Daddy to the right Woman/girl Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Midwest Posts: 234 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 382 Thanked 240 Times in 95 Posts Rep Power: 3337849	ok here it goes smoking cigs excessive drug alcohol use being a republican there are more but theses are biggies BK

01-25-2012, 01:13 PM	#4
adorable Member How Do You Identify?: Sarcastically Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Unavailable Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Home of the Yankee's Posts: 752 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,708 Thanked 2,644 Times in 590 Posts Rep Power: 12725119	There are more non-negotiables in a relationship, but these are my top three: Know the rules of engagement. Nothing else is attractive. My home is a sanctuary, a safe base. I have never had a relationship (after age 17) where there was fighting, intense disagreements, screaming, or even slamming of doors. (I did have a significant relationship, where, when she became very sick five years in, it resulted in some Jerry Springer like stuff – it was understandably different and not the norm for us.) Know thyself. It’s hard to convey the importance of this or how seriously I take it. I have no desire to be your therapist, mother or boss. I don’t want to figure you out or sort through your problems. I want to be me and for you to be you. Yes, we all have issues sometimes. At this point in our lives though, we should have a good handle on our inner core – the shaky ground should be long behind us. I am a rock that can manage almost any situation. I want a fellow rock, not the person that depends on one. Be passionate. About something. Anything. The things you can’t wait to do in your free time. Those things that you never get tired of reading about, thinking about, participating in, or fighting for. There is nothing more exciting or engaging than talking to someone that is passionate about something. I’ve had some of the most fascinating conversations with someone who writes mathematical theory that only he and four other people in the world understand. (I'm still not one of those four.) It’s mind boggling to me, but his intensity is awe inspiring. I am passionate about several things. To me those are the most authentic of human interactions. I treasure sharing them.

01-25-2012, 05:56 PM	#5
SweetJane Member How Do You Identify?: stone femme Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: always solo Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: New Mexico Posts: 368 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 380 Thanked 815 Times in 198 Posts Rep Power: 4309958	Non-negotiables? Excessive alcohol Lying Cheating (Already dealt with all three. Don't want to go back there.)

01-25-2012, 06:11 PM	#6
genghisfawn Member How Do You Identify?: Femme/Gentlewoman Preferred Pronoun?: She/her Relationship Status: Happily married 05/17/14 Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: Saskatchewan, Canada Posts: 561 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,056 Thanked 2,158 Times in 403 Posts Rep Power: 21474850	Dishonesty Dishonour Disrespect

07-13-2012, 01:04 PM	#8
thedivahrrrself Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Queer Sapiosexual Femme Relationship Status: Mrs. Grumpy Cat Tournaments Won: 4 Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: 8,660 feet high in the Andes Posts: 2,640 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 10,519 Thanked 11,656 Times in 2,292 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	3 must-haves: Intellect/Wit/Humour - they all go together. Conversation is the root of any good relationship, and without these things, our conversations would be dull. Passion - I would prefer you to be passionate about me, of course, but you should be passionate about something else, or several somethings. I often refer to this as geekiness. You should know more than I do about something, be willing to educate me on the subject, and be willing to listen to the things I am passionate about, which you may be surprised to learn, is more than just shoes. But you're probably going to have to listen to me chatter about shoes too. Physical affection - some people are just not huggers, or touchers. They should find people like themselves to couple up with. I need to be touched, hugged, kissed, etc (etc etc etc) as often as possible. 3 must-nots: lying jerks - I could probably forgive a cheater if they were at least HONEST about it. It's the lying that kills me. lazy fucks - I'm too hyper for you. I am not one just to sit around all day. mean/rude bastards - If you're can't be nice to your waitress, the homeless guy you see, or the people who work for you, odds are you won't be nice to me for very long. My theory is, you can treat anyone the way you treat anyone else. I'm not special. You can't say, "Oh, I'm a jerk to this guy, but I'd *never* treat *you* that way." Yes, you would. I just haven't pissed you off yet.

07-13-2012, 01:12 PM	#9
Beloved Member How Do You Identify?: alive Preferred Pronoun?: um Relationship Status: married Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: on the stars Posts: 460 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,415 Thanked 1,653 Times in 298 Posts Rep Power: 19348704	Let's see... Mine are... Must be intelligent Drug or alcohol addiction (in the past is ok, just not current) Dislike of children because I have one Dislike of animals Unemployed, you must have job or actively seeking one. I am not your sugar momma. Smoking if they are not trying to stop Conservatives (sorry but we would fight all the time) Hygiene and clean teeth (I'm a dental hygienist) Must treat people with respect People who need anger management Lying Cheaters Responsible I require attention. Must be attentive. Must be emotionally available I may have more. I need to think about it.