I'd Like to Claim I was Drunk: Pick Up Lines Destined to Fail

genghisfawn · 01-25-2012, 06:04 PM

I was at a pub with friends and this kid (I swear it was a kid... like, 19, which is the minimum drinking age here...) was trying to chat us up. Naturally we were polite but turned our backs when we were done being civil, but he just kept harping on at me (I was closest.)

Me: *turning around and saying politely* Can I help you with something?
Him: I just wanna know... are we friends?
Me: Maybe someday, but I'd like to visit with my friends now, please, okay?
Him: Maybe not. I hate being in the friend zone, so maybe we should go back to my place and get this over with.

Fortunately everyone heard him because he was drunk and yelling, so we ended up laughing and booing him out (along with a bunch of men our age who started hollering "Peeweeeee!" at him. I love straight bars.

mustangjeano · 01-25-2012, 06:17 PM

SAID MANY YEARS AGO TO A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN AT WORK, " I'm not just bragging about how good I am---that many women can't be wrong.

chai~ · 01-30-2012, 11:29 PM

I didn't use this line, but this was used on my once and I tried so hard not to laugh!!!

Meeting butch on a blind date set up by a friend.

Them, "You know, my dentist really hates it when I come in for a cleaning."

Me, a look of concern, "Oh really? How come?"

Them, "Well because my tongue is so strong and long, that the assistant has to hold it down with a depressor so the dentist can clean my teeth."

I think I downed my drink and excused myself.

chai~ · 02-23-2012, 07:55 PM

Metro · 02-23-2012, 08:02 PM

not sure why but i think you're hot!

SleepyButch · 01-18-2015, 02:39 PM

We don't have to take our clothes off to have a good time baby.. but if you'd like to...

cinnamongrrl · 01-18-2015, 03:03 PM

Ohhh my god.

I was just talking to my roomie about pickup linea 10 minutes ago! Freaky!!!!

Sooo one that I find memorable....

"Id really like to introduce you to my friend, Stanley. My power tool."

Check please!

Bard · 01-19-2015, 07:53 PM

Somebody call the cops, because it's got to be illegal to look that good!

01-25-2012, 06:17 PM	#2
mustangjeano Member How Do You Identify?: old school stonebutch, Queer TG butch, ranch hand Preferred Pronoun?: he Relationship Status: single, not looking Join Date: Mar 2011 Location: Northern Ca. Posts: 1,088 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,459 Thanked 1,029 Times in 361 Posts Rep Power: 15314316	SAID MANY YEARS AGO TO A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN AT WORK, " I'm not just bragging about how good I am---that many women can't be wrong. __________________ "Your outlook affects your outcome". John Paul Warren

01-18-2015, 02:39 PM	#6
SleepyButch Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Dude Preferred Pronoun?: He, Him Relationship Status: Taken Join Date: Jun 2012 Location: Hidden Valley Ranch Posts: 3,511 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 6,220 Thanked 11,247 Times in 2,753 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Inspired from another thread.. We don't have to take our clothes off to have a good time baby.. but if you'd like to... __________________ . You cannot embrace those things that will not embrace you back.

01-18-2015, 03:03 PM	#7
cinnamongrrl Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: cleverly disguised as a responsible adult* Preferred Pronoun?: wild woman Relationship Status: No, thank you. Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Home in NC..gonna dig in like a tick this time… Posts: 7,665 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 15,247 Thanked 27,604 Times in 6,959 Posts Rep Power: 21474859	Ohhh my god. I was just talking to my roomie about pickup linea 10 minutes ago! Freaky!!!! Sooo one that I find memorable.... "Id really like to introduce you to my friend, Stanley. My power tool." Check please! __________________

01-19-2015, 07:53 PM	#8
Bard Family Man How Do You Identify?: TG Male Preferred Pronoun?: Masculine ones Relationship Status: She just gets me Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: ..... Posts: 2,828 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,997 Thanked 12,786 Times in 2,431 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	Somebody call the cops, because it's got to be illegal to look that good! __________________ This is ten percent luck, twenty percent skill Fifteen percent concentrated power of will Five percent pleasure, fifty percent pain And a hundred percent reason to remember the name! Give yourself over to absolute pleasure. Swim the warm waters of sins of the flesh - erotic nightmares beyond any measure, and sensual daydreams to treasure forever. Can't you just see it? Don't dream it, be it.

01-25-2012, 06:04 PM	#1
genghisfawn Member How Do You Identify?: Femme/Gentlewoman Preferred Pronoun?: She/her Relationship Status: Happily married 05/17/14 Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: Saskatchewan, Canada Posts: 561 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,056 Thanked 2,158 Times in 403 Posts Rep Power: 21474850	I was at a pub with friends and this kid (I swear it was a kid... like, 19, which is the minimum drinking age here...) was trying to chat us up. Naturally we were polite but turned our backs when we were done being civil, but he just kept harping on at me (I was closest.) Me: turning around and saying politely Can I help you with something? Him: I just wanna know... are we friends? Me: Maybe someday, but I'd like to visit with my friends now, please, okay? Him: Maybe not. I hate being in the friend zone, so maybe we should go back to my place and get this over with. Fortunately everyone heard him because he was drunk and yelling, so we ended up laughing and booing him out (along with a bunch of men our age who started hollering "Peeweeeee!" at him. I love straight bars.

01-30-2012, 11:29 PM	#3
chai~ Member How Do You Identify?: Self possessed Aquarian Preferred Pronoun?: Don't call me baby~ Relationship Status: Deliciously single and loving it. Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: lotus land Posts: 1,173 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,937 Thanked 3,381 Times in 864 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	I didn't use this line, but this was used on my once and I tried so hard not to laugh!!! Meeting butch on a blind date set up by a friend. Them, "You know, my dentist really hates it when I come in for a cleaning." Me, a look of concern, "Oh really? How come?" Them, "Well because my tongue is so strong and long, that the assistant has to hold it down with a depressor so the dentist can clean my teeth." I think I downed my drink and excused myself.

02-23-2012, 07:55 PM	#4
chai~ Member How Do You Identify?: Self possessed Aquarian Preferred Pronoun?: Don't call me baby~ Relationship Status: Deliciously single and loving it. Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: lotus land Posts: 1,173 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,937 Thanked 3,381 Times in 864 Posts Rep Power: 21474853

02-23-2012, 08:02 PM	#5
Metro Senior Member How Do You Identify?: • Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: • Posts: 1,606 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,476 Thanked 2,911 Times in 730 Posts Rep Power: 21474851	not sure why but i think you're hot!