Cancer Support and Caregivers Who Are Trail Blazers! - Page 34

clay · 01-30-2012, 11:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Novelafemme

Hi All,

Just got back from NYC in the wee hours this morning. We spent the bulk of Friday at the NYU Cancer Center with my sister as she went through chemo #4. So different from anything we have experienced. She is getting the R-CHOP drugs for her lymphoma and really hasn't had many of the same side effects. Some hair loss, but she still has her eyebrows and eyelashes. She got up Saturday morning and taught her usual two hour yoga class! Then she met us Sunday for brunch and also walked the 1.5 mile long high line walk way AND BACK! She's pretty amazing! Just a little update on her and to say thanks again for all the support!!

THAT is fantastic news, Novela..and You go SISTER!!!! Awesome...hugs to you..Clay

Tommi · 02-05-2012, 01:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Novelafemme

Hi All,

Just got back from NYC in the wee hours this morning. We spent the bulk of Friday at the NYU Cancer Center with my sister as she went through chemo #4. So different from anything we have experienced. She is getting the R-CHOP drugs for her lymphoma and really hasn't had many of the same side effects. Some hair loss, but she still has her eyebrows and eyelashes. She got up Saturday morning and taught her usual two hour yoga class! Then she met us Sunday for brunch and also walked the 1.5 mile long high line walk way AND BACK! She's pretty amazing! Just a little update on her and to say thanks again for all the support!!

Positively amazing, and positive for her. Hope and healing go hand in hand.

Sending hopeful wishes and strength to all.

clay · 02-07-2012, 05:24 PM

hey all you BRAVE WARRIORS......sending each of you incredible folks a BIG butch HUG and a smile....
Saw my surgical oncologist today for my 2 month Post Op F/U! He is very pleased with my "total recovery" but with the continued weight loss and loss of appetite.... will be getting blood work and scans with contrast done in next couple months...I am not worried.....
I lost another 10 lbs since I last saw him 3.5 weeks ago. and now have lost 50 lbs max. since November. The weight loss is great for me, as I was a big gal anyway....so no worries just is NOT a "diet" to lose it by...
I am a BRAVE WARRIOR and I will walk with determination & pride and win .....yes I WILL!

Rockinonahigh · 02-07-2012, 05:50 PM

My friend you have had a double major surgery so I would think it takes a lot out of your body to heal it self,we both know it dosent happen over night.Carry on with what you are doing,it will all work out.

pynkkameleon · 02-07-2012, 06:37 PM

I spent the better portion of my day reading every single post in this thread. I have laughed, cried, empathized, grieved and have been touched by each and every one of you.

I'm a member of the club none of us ever wanted to join too. I was diagnosed in 2009 with Breast Cancer. Lost the boobs, did chemo, did rads, got new foobs, lost those, got another set of foobs and lost again. Apparently boobs don't like me. Fine, cuz I don't really like them either too much right now. It's going to be an adjustment since nearly every shirt I own was designed to show off my lovely bit of cleavage but what can I do but roll with it.

I don't have time to say much more at the moment but will try to pop in later for a more proper introduction. Nurse will be here in a few minutes to change the dressing on my PICC line, kids are wanting dinner etc.. but I did want to say that I think you are all AMAZING! All of you supporters, caregivers, loved ones and those battling the beast, stay strong.. and as Clay so wonderfully said.. We are all Brave Warriors!

clay · 02-07-2012, 06:51 PM

Vonni:
First off...here ya go....(((((((((((((((((((((((((Vonni)))))))))))))) )).
Secondly, foobs...I love that word...IMHO..those DO NOT a woman's
cleavage" make..it is HOW she wears her top,(ie...does she wear it proudly, wear it beautifully) and "work it" like a runway MODEL she is... how much "skin" she decides to show, AND how she carries herself....along with her heart and her spirit! THAT is what I find hawwwttt about her....
WELCOME to our wonderful group here..and make yourself right at home! YOU have your own BRAVE WARRIOR badge here...so wear it proud sister! as you have been doing!
ANY TIME you need to talk, and want to do so privately...I will always make time for you.....as will all the beautiful souls here! YOU will NOT walk this walk alone here!!! WE won't LET you..so with that said...
May you have an awesome support system where you are....may you have peace and calmness in your daily journey, and know I am sending you white light energy..always...place your hand in mine, and any one of us here or better yet....ALL of ours..we march together..and leave NO ONE behind!!! We carry, we push, we pull, we encourage, we support, we cry, we laugh, and we LIVE our lives to the fullest..but we leave NO ONE behind!!! Everyone of us has attributes to offer to others...some of us walk the same journey, some of us walk a different journey, some of us are supporters and caregivers, some of us are family, some of us are friends, BUT WE ALL walk united...for we are BRAVE WARRIORS!
Come on back anytime...pull up a comfy chair, and let us hear how you are doing....FIGHT, honey FIGHT!!!!
I look forward to hearing more of your story and seeing your gorgeously beautiful self in here..so smile, dahlink...we are ALL very Brave Warriors!!! hugs, hugs, and more hugs...Clay

clay · 02-07-2012, 06:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rockinonahigh

My friend you have had a double major surgery so I would think it takes a lot out of your body to heal it self,we both know it dosent happen over night.Carry on with what you are doing,it will all work out.

hey Mike: THANK YOU my darling buddy! Yea, I have to STOP sometimes and remind myself that just 8 short weeks ago, I was in the OR having double major abdominal surgery...TWO procedures....grin! along with an NG tube for 10 days, AND PPN feedings.for 5 days....grin! Anyway, I know it takes time to recuperate, get all that anesthesia out of your system, and to "heal" from within!
Appreciate you my bud!! Clay

DapperButch · 02-07-2012, 08:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vonni

I spent the better portion of my day reading every single post in this thread. I have laughed, cried, empathized, grieved and have been touched by each and every one of you.

I'm a member of the club none of us ever wanted to join too. I was diagnosed in 2009 with Breast Cancer. Lost the boobs, did chemo, did rads, got new foobs, lost those, got another set of foobs and lost again. Apparently boobs don't like me. Fine, cuz I don't really like them either too much right now. It's going to be an adjustment since nearly every shirt I own was designed to show off my lovely bit of cleavage but what can I do but roll with it.

I don't have time to say much more at the moment but will try to pop in later for a more proper introduction. Nurse will be here in a few minutes to change the dressing on my PICC line, kids are wanting dinner etc.. but I did want to say that I think you are all AMAZING! All of you supporters, caregivers, loved ones and those battling the beast, stay strong.. and as Clay so wonderfully said.. We are all Brave Warriors!

Vonni,

Thanks for joining the thread. I'm glad you are here.

JustJo · 02-07-2012, 08:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vonni

I spent the better portion of my day reading every single post in this thread. I have laughed, cried, empathized, grieved and have been touched by each and every one of you.

I'm a member of the club none of us ever wanted to join too. I was diagnosed in 2009 with Breast Cancer. Lost the boobs, did chemo, did rads, got new foobs, lost those, got another set of foobs and lost again. Apparently boobs don't like me. Fine, cuz I don't really like them either too much right now. It's going to be an adjustment since nearly every shirt I own was designed to show off my lovely bit of cleavage but what can I do but roll with it.

I don't have time to say much more at the moment but will try to pop in later for a more proper introduction. Nurse will be here in a few minutes to change the dressing on my PICC line, kids are wanting dinner etc.. but I did want to say that I think you are all AMAZING! All of you supporters, caregivers, loved ones and those battling the beast, stay strong.. and as Clay so wonderfully said.. We are all Brave Warriors!

Welcome to the thread Vonni.

I've received tremendous support and advice here....and hope it serves you as well.
Wishing you all the best...

Rockinonahigh · 02-07-2012, 08:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by claybaby

hey Mike: THANK YOU my darling buddy! Yea, I have to STOP sometimes and remind myself that just 8 short weeks ago, I was in the OR having double major abdominal surgery...TWO procedures....grin! along with an NG tube for 10 days, AND PPN feedings.for 5 days....grin! Anyway, I know it takes time to recuperate, get all that anesthesia out of your system, and to "heal" from within!
Appreciate you my bud!! Clay

Tks bud,no matter how or where we are in this life we all are rowing the same boat,just in a diffrent way.Dont forget we have to meet up in a town in Arkansaw this fall,by time all of the planet folks meet and greet then just plain get to know each other...the place wont be the same...nor will we.

JustJo · 02-08-2012, 02:10 PM

Hello all,

It's been awhile since I've posted about mom, but not much has changed. We're in a holding pattern of sorts. She is still doing the (supposedly reduced) chemo, but is finding that it makes her just as sick. The oncologist and surgeon disagree about whether she should continue it or not...and she is leaning towards not.

Basically, she feels fine when not on chemo...very sick when on it...and no one knows whether chemo actually will slow the advance of these punctate lesions or not. In a nutshell...her choice...does she want to feel nauseous and exhausted and take a potential chance at increased time....or feel like herself and take a potential chance at reduced time.

All she knows for sure right now is that she really wants to be home on her own place. I understand that, as it's always been her closest connection and the most important thing in her life. With the mild winter, weather isn't the issue we had anticipated...and she's eating and drinking well, not to mention infinitely stronger and healthier than when she arrived in early December. So....she's going home, a week from Saturday. She'll still have visiting nurse and home health aid a couple times a week, and her best friend will by my spy. We have agreed that if she starts to deteriorate at all, or by next winter at least, she will come back here to Florida again.

Honestly, I'm relieved. The stress of being a caregiver is enormous, exhausting and difficult...even if the previous relationship is good. When the previous relationship is rocky, and the recipient of care is a narcissist....well....suffice to say that I can use the break myself.

I also struggle....so many people want to tell me that I'm a good daughter, or so compassionate and giving, or so brave....and I'm not. Believe me....I'm here to tell you. I am doing this because I must....because I have to live with myself and look in the mirror each day for the rest of my life. I joke about "damn ethics"....but that's what it is....the recognition that the right thing needs to be done even if I hate doing it, even if it exhausts me, and even as I grit my teeth and bite my tongue.

I'm never had cancer myself, but I can only imagine that it is the same for many cancer patients....who get through it one step at a time simply because they must.

Hugs,
Jo

DapperButch · 02-08-2012, 04:59 PM

Jo, thanks for updating us on your mom. It sounds like her being down here was a very, very good thing for her. It really stabilized her and that is great. It does sound like she really is at a crossroads in terms of her decision. It would be a tough call.

Quote:

Originally Posted by JustJo

I also struggle....so many people want to tell me that I'm a good daughter, or so compassionate and giving, or so brave....and I'm not. Believe me....I'm here to tell you. I am doing this because I must....because I have to live with myself and look in the mirror each day for the rest of my life. I joke about "damn ethics"....but that's what it is....the recognition that the right thing needs to be done even if I hate doing it, even if it exhausts me, and even as I grit my teeth and bite my tongue.

I'm never had cancer myself, but I can only imagine that it is the same for many cancer patients....who get through it one step at a time simply because they must.

Hugs,
Jo

I know exactly what you mean with the whole "brave" part not fitting for you. I actually was going to respond to Clay's post last night <waving at Clay> to tell her that I would prefer she refrain from calling me a "brave warrior". That isn't how I identify. I am just a guy who got cancer and didn't want to die so hy got treatment. Being called a "brave warrior" makes me quite uncomfortable.

So, Clay, I support you in calling yourself whatever, including brave warrior, if that is how you identify, but I am just a guy who did what had to be done. Please stop calling me something I do not identify with, however, please know I appreciate the sentiment. Thanks.

JustJo · 02-15-2012, 06:14 PM

Hello all,

Probably time for another update, but please skip this one if you don't want to hear bad news.

We just got the results of my mother's last PET scan and the cancer has metastisized (or however you spell that freakin word) to her liver. They are calling it hyper-metabolic....which basically means growing like a son of a bitch.

Also, several of the punctate lesions have now activated on the outside of her remaining small intestine.

They have said they are "willing to try" very aggressive chemo....but the mild chemo she is on is already making her more sick than she can tolerate, and her weight is already dropping again. The only time she felt well, and was gaining weight, is when she had a break from chemo....so she expects that the very aggressive version would be absolutely intolerable for her.

She has decided to return home as planned on Saturday, to refuse chemo, and to begin working with hospice. She would prefer to live a shorter time, and not feel so sick...and most definitely not to die either in a hospital, or in front of my son.

She has already started getting her affairs in order.

Cancer sucks.

clay · 02-15-2012, 06:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JustJo

Hello all,

Probably time for another update, but please skip this one if you don't want to hear bad news.

We just got the results of my mother's last PET scan and the cancer has metastisized (or however you spell that freakin word) to her liver. They are calling it hyper-metabolic....which basically means growing like a son of a bitch.

Also, several of the punctate lesions have now activated on the outside of her remaining small intestine.

They have said they are "willing to try" very aggressive chemo....but the mild chemo she is on is already making her more sick than she can tolerate, and her weight is already dropping again. The only time she felt well, and was gaining weight, is when she had a break from chemo....so she expects that the very aggressive version would be absolutely intolerable for her.

She has decided to return home as planned on Saturday, to refuse chemo, and to begin working with hospice. She would prefer to live a shorter time, and not feel so sick...and most definitely not to die either in a hospital, or in front of my son.

She has already started getting her affairs in order.

Cancer sucks.

aww Jo.....BIG HUGS to you and mom!!! She is in my heart & thoughts...as are you!!! Love you, Mom!!!

DapperButch · 02-15-2012, 07:01 PM

Oh, gosh, Jo. I am so very, very sorry. I don't even know what you say. Please know I am here if you want to talk.

Tommi · 02-15-2012, 07:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JustJo

Hello all,

Probably time for another update, but please skip this one if you don't want to hear bad news.

We just got the results of my mother's last PET scan and the cancer has metastisized (or however you spell that freakin word) to her liver. They are calling it hyper-metabolic....which basically means growing like a son of a bitch.

Also, several of the punctate lesions have now activated on the outside of her remaining small intestine.

They have said they are "willing to try" very aggressive chemo....but the mild chemo she is on is already making her more sick than she can tolerate, and her weight is already dropping again. The only time she felt well, and was gaining weight, is when she had a break from chemo....so she expects that the very aggressive version would be absolutely intolerable for her.

She has decided to return home as planned on Saturday, to refuse chemo, and to begin working with hospice. She would prefer to live a shorter time, and not feel so sick...and most definitely not to die either in a hospital, or in front of my son.

She has already started getting her affairs in order.

Cancer sucks.

(((((((((((((Jo's Mom))))))))))))))

mustangjeano · 02-15-2012, 08:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JustJo

Hello all,

Probably time for another update, but please skip this one if you don't want to hear bad news.

We just got the results of my mother's last PET scan and the cancer has metastisized (or however you spell that freakin word) to her liver. They are calling it hyper-metabolic....which basically means growing like a son of a bitch.

Also, several of the punctate lesions have now activated on the outside of her remaining small intestine.

They have said they are "willing to try" very aggressive chemo....but the mild chemo she is on is already making her more sick than she can tolerate, and her weight is already dropping again. The only time she felt well, and was gaining weight, is when she had a break from chemo....so she expects that the very aggressive version would be absolutely intolerable for her.

She has decided to return home as planned on Saturday, to refuse chemo, and to begin working with hospice. She would prefer to live a shorter time, and not feel so sick...and most definitely not to die either in a hospital, or in front of my son.

She has already started getting her affairs in order.

Cancer sucks.

Oh damn Jo, I'm so sorry. I can't think of anything helpful to say other than I will keep you and your Mom in my prayers. We are all here for you.

SweetJane · 02-16-2012, 01:01 AM

JustJo, this is always hard news. But it looks like your mom realizes that quality of life is important to her and those around her. We will keep her in prayer...and you as well.

OS Butch · 02-16-2012, 12:28 PM

Good morning. I just had the scare of my life and thought I would share it here. Sorry for the long ramble.

Since the age of 40, I have gone every year for a mammogram. It had become routine, something I just did.

10 years ago, my oldest sister was diagnosed with breast cancer; she did the chemo and mastectomy and is a 10 year survivor and going strong.

Last year my youngest sister was diagnosed with breast cancer and is doing well.

Having done this 13 times and having some not so very sensitive technicians, last year I said to the tech “Good morning, are you having a good day?” She looked at me a bit puzzled and said yes. I said “Great, because the last thing I want is someone squishing my boob that is having a bad day!” She laughed and although uncomfortable, it went well.

Last week I went for my routine mammogram. I had the same conversion with the tech and again, it went well. My daughter had come by Monday to pick up her mail and it was a good day. Later that evening, I got a call from her telling me she got my letter from the radiologist. As she read it I stopped hearing a word she was saying after I heard “requiring more testing.” I cried myself to sleep that night.

Tuesday, yes, Valentine’s day, I called my doctor and instructed to call the radiologist for another appointment, I shouldn’t need another prescription. I called the center and was told the next date would be Feb 29…..That was 15 days away! I said to the lady, I have had 2 sisters with breast cancer and that seems too long can they call me if there is a cancellation and get in sooner? She said she is unable to do that, but she could transfer me to the local office and I could check with them.

She transferred me to the actual place I had my testing. I gave my name and other information. She said “Can you come in at 1pm today?” My heart just about stopped as I said yes. Even though I got an early time, the immediate response was of urgency it seemed and I was terrified.

I arrived early to the center, and waited to be called. I heard my name and through those doors I went. I had my little conversation with the tech and she laughed. She took 1 x-ray of my right breast and 3 of the left. She took me to a waiting room, still in the gown in case there needed to be more x-rays after the doctor read them. As I sat in the waiting room, there was a tv playing an infomercial on Tomosynthesis 3D imaging. After what seemed forever, the tech came and got me for another x-ray….omgoodness. I asked about the Tomo and she said that is what we are doing. She further explained that it is a new technology and insurance companies are not paying for it yet, but the Doctor here said to go ahead and do it.

Back to the room I went and waited. The tech finally came back and said I could get dressed and the doctor would be in to talk to me……..more waiting.

Finally he arrived and said that everything was fine and negative. Shadows of the 2d were not there on the 3d. A huge sigh of relief!

I suggest that if the new Tomosynthesis 3D imaging is available in your area, it is well worth the out of pocket expensive to alleviate false positive reading and going through what I experienced! Hopefully, the insurance companies will start covering this new machine…. it still squishes the boob, but it takes 52 shots in a pass so the doctor is able to see more!

OSB

Countyfem · 02-16-2012, 12:52 PM

Sending everyone well wishes

JustJo so sorry for this news my prayers are with you and your family

OS glad to hear your news was good, adding you and your family to my prayers

Clay I have a feeling everything will be good for you, you beat it once and if need be you can do it again!

Take care everyone keep your spirits high and know there are folks that keep you in their thoughts and prayers and support you.

02-07-2012, 05:24 PM	#663
clay Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Butch (Silver Fox) Dom Daddi Preferred Pronoun?: 50 Shades of Clay Darker & Deeper Relationship Status: married to my forever Join Date: May 2011 Location: salt air & sandy beaches Posts: 13,136 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 97,015 Thanked 31,680 Times in 7,748 Posts Rep Power: 21474864	UPDATE on Me..... hey all you BRAVE WARRIORS......sending each of you incredible folks a BIG butch HUG and a smile.... Saw my surgical oncologist today for my 2 month Post Op F/U! He is very pleased with my "total recovery" but with the continued weight loss and loss of appetite.... will be getting blood work and scans with contrast done in next couple months...I am not worried..... I lost another 10 lbs since I last saw him 3.5 weeks ago. and now have lost 50 lbs max. since November. The weight loss is great for me, as I was a big gal anyway....so no worries just is NOT a "diet" to lose it by... I am a BRAVE WARRIOR and I will walk with determination & pride and win .....yes I WILL! __________________ To find someone who will love you for no reason, and to shower that person with reasons, that is the ultimate happiness. ~Robert Brault

02-07-2012, 06:37 PM	#665
pynkkameleon Member How Do You Identify?: Queer Femme Preferred Pronoun?: Girly ones Relationship Status: Riding off into the sunset with my Cowboi Join Date: Feb 2012 Location: Texas Posts: 130 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,279 Thanked 484 Times in 98 Posts Rep Power: 7809054	I spent the better portion of my day reading every single post in this thread. I have laughed, cried, empathized, grieved and have been touched by each and every one of you. I'm a member of the club none of us ever wanted to join too. I was diagnosed in 2009 with Breast Cancer. Lost the boobs, did chemo, did rads, got new foobs, lost those, got another set of foobs and lost again. Apparently boobs don't like me. Fine, cuz I don't really like them either too much right now. It's going to be an adjustment since nearly every shirt I own was designed to show off my lovely bit of cleavage but what can I do but roll with it. I don't have time to say much more at the moment but will try to pop in later for a more proper introduction. Nurse will be here in a few minutes to change the dressing on my PICC line, kids are wanting dinner etc.. but I did want to say that I think you are all AMAZING! All of you supporters, caregivers, loved ones and those battling the beast, stay strong.. and as Clay so wonderfully said.. We are all Brave Warriors! __________________ ~Vonni~ *Don't define your world in black and white..* *There is so much hiding amongst the greys* *❤❤❤❤❤*

02-07-2012, 06:51 PM	#666
clay Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Butch (Silver Fox) Dom Daddi Preferred Pronoun?: 50 Shades of Clay Darker & Deeper Relationship Status: married to my forever Join Date: May 2011 Location: salt air & sandy beaches Posts: 13,136 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 97,015 Thanked 31,680 Times in 7,748 Posts Rep Power: 21474864	Vonni: First off...here ya go....(((((((((((((((((((((((((Vonni)))))))))))))) )). Secondly, foobs...I love that word...IMHO..those DO NOT a woman's cleavage" make..it is HOW she wears her top,(ie...does she wear it proudly, wear it beautifully) and "work it" like a runway MODEL she is... how much "skin" she decides to show, AND how she carries herself....along with her heart and her spirit! THAT is what I find hawwwttt about her.... WELCOME to our wonderful group here..and make yourself right at home! YOU have your own BRAVE WARRIOR badge here...so wear it proud sister! as you have been doing! ANY TIME you need to talk, and want to do so privately...I will always make time for you.....as will all the beautiful souls here! YOU will NOT walk this walk alone here!!! WE won't LET you..so with that said... May you have an awesome support system where you are....may you have peace and calmness in your daily journey, and know I am sending you white light energy..always...place your hand in mine, and any one of us here or better yet....ALL of ours..we march together..and leave NO ONE behind!!! We carry, we push, we pull, we encourage, we support, we cry, we laugh, and we LIVE our lives to the fullest..but we leave NO ONE behind!!! Everyone of us has attributes to offer to others...some of us walk the same journey, some of us walk a different journey, some of us are supporters and caregivers, some of us are family, some of us are friends, BUT WE ALL walk united...for we are BRAVE WARRIORS! Come on back anytime...pull up a comfy chair, and let us hear how you are doing....FIGHT, honey FIGHT!!!! I look forward to hearing more of your story and seeing your gorgeously beautiful self in here..so smile, dahlink...we are ALL very Brave Warriors!!! hugs, hugs, and more hugs...Clay __________________ To find someone who will love you for no reason, and to shower that person with reasons, that is the ultimate happiness. ~Robert Brault

02-08-2012, 02:10 PM	#671
JustJo Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: pushy broad Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: Follow your heart; it knows things your mind cannot explain. Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Southeast corner Posts: 5,633 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 24,417 Thanked 25,406 Times in 4,660 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	Hello all, It's been awhile since I've posted about mom, but not much has changed. We're in a holding pattern of sorts. She is still doing the (supposedly reduced) chemo, but is finding that it makes her just as sick. The oncologist and surgeon disagree about whether she should continue it or not...and she is leaning towards not. Basically, she feels fine when not on chemo...very sick when on it...and no one knows whether chemo actually will slow the advance of these punctate lesions or not. In a nutshell...her choice...does she want to feel nauseous and exhausted and take a potential chance at increased time....or feel like herself and take a potential chance at reduced time. All she knows for sure right now is that she really wants to be home on her own place. I understand that, as it's always been her closest connection and the most important thing in her life. With the mild winter, weather isn't the issue we had anticipated...and she's eating and drinking well, not to mention infinitely stronger and healthier than when she arrived in early December. So....she's going home, a week from Saturday. She'll still have visiting nurse and home health aid a couple times a week, and her best friend will by my spy. We have agreed that if she starts to deteriorate at all, or by next winter at least, she will come back here to Florida again. Honestly, I'm relieved. The stress of being a caregiver is enormous, exhausting and difficult...even if the previous relationship is good. When the previous relationship is rocky, and the recipient of care is a narcissist....well....suffice to say that I can use the break myself. I also struggle....so many people want to tell me that I'm a good daughter, or so compassionate and giving, or so brave....and I'm not. Believe me....I'm here to tell you. I am doing this because I must....because I have to live with myself and look in the mirror each day for the rest of my life. I joke about "damn ethics"....but that's what it is....the recognition that the right thing needs to be done even if I hate doing it, even if it exhausts me, and even as I grit my teeth and bite my tongue. I'm never had cancer myself, but I can only imagine that it is the same for many cancer patients....who get through it one step at a time simply because they must. Hugs, Jo __________________ I'm not tall enough to ride emotional roller coasters

02-15-2012, 06:14 PM	#673
JustJo Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: pushy broad Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: Follow your heart; it knows things your mind cannot explain. Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Southeast corner Posts: 5,633 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 24,417 Thanked 25,406 Times in 4,660 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	Hello all, Probably time for another update, but please skip this one if you don't want to hear bad news. We just got the results of my mother's last PET scan and the cancer has metastisized (or however you spell that freakin word) to her liver. They are calling it hyper-metabolic....which basically means growing like a son of a bitch. Also, several of the punctate lesions have now activated on the outside of her remaining small intestine. They have said they are "willing to try" very aggressive chemo....but the mild chemo she is on is already making her more sick than she can tolerate, and her weight is already dropping again. The only time she felt well, and was gaining weight, is when she had a break from chemo....so she expects that the very aggressive version would be absolutely intolerable for her. She has decided to return home as planned on Saturday, to refuse chemo, and to begin working with hospice. She would prefer to live a shorter time, and not feel so sick...and most definitely not to die either in a hospital, or in front of my son. She has already started getting her affairs in order. Cancer sucks. __________________ I'm not tall enough to ride emotional roller coasters

02-07-2012, 05:50 PM	#664
Rockinonahigh Senior Member How Do You Identify?: stone butch Preferred Pronoun?: makes no diffrence,I know who I am. Relationship Status: single,maybe looking if the right person comes along. Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: shreveport,Louisiana Posts: 4,907 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,682 Thanked 14,934 Times in 3,938 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	My friend you have had a double major surgery so I would think it takes a lot out of your body to heal it self,we both know it dosent happen over night.Carry on with what you are doing,it will all work out.

02-15-2012, 07:01 PM	#675
DapperButch Roadster Guy How Do You Identify?: FTM, Stone Butch Preferred Pronoun?: He Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Northeast Posts: 7,745 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 26,545 Thanked 26,821 Times in 5,772 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	Oh, gosh, Jo. I am so very, very sorry. I don't even know what you say. Please know I am here if you want to talk. __________________ -Dapper Are you educated or indoctrinated?

02-16-2012, 01:01 AM	#678
SweetJane Member How Do You Identify?: stone femme Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: always solo Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: New Mexico Posts: 368 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 380 Thanked 815 Times in 198 Posts Rep Power: 4309957	JustJo, this is always hard news. But it looks like your mom realizes that quality of life is important to her and those around her. We will keep her in prayer...and you as well.

02-16-2012, 12:28 PM	#679
OS Butch Member How Do You Identify?: Butch-BLW Preferred Pronoun?: Default-She Relationship Status: Closed Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Northern Virginia Posts: 636 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 488 Thanked 1,378 Times in 461 Posts Rep Power: 12988704	Good morning. I just had the scare of my life and thought I would share it here. Sorry for the long ramble. Since the age of 40, I have gone every year for a mammogram. It had become routine, something I just did. 10 years ago, my oldest sister was diagnosed with breast cancer; she did the chemo and mastectomy and is a 10 year survivor and going strong. Last year my youngest sister was diagnosed with breast cancer and is doing well. Having done this 13 times and having some not so very sensitive technicians, last year I said to the tech “Good morning, are you having a good day?” She looked at me a bit puzzled and said yes. I said “Great, because the last thing I want is someone squishing my boob that is having a bad day!” She laughed and although uncomfortable, it went well. Last week I went for my routine mammogram. I had the same conversion with the tech and again, it went well. My daughter had come by Monday to pick up her mail and it was a good day. Later that evening, I got a call from her telling me she got my letter from the radiologist. As she read it I stopped hearing a word she was saying after I heard “requiring more testing.” I cried myself to sleep that night. Tuesday, yes, Valentine’s day, I called my doctor and instructed to call the radiologist for another appointment, I shouldn’t need another prescription. I called the center and was told the next date would be Feb 29…..That was 15 days away! I said to the lady, I have had 2 sisters with breast cancer and that seems too long can they call me if there is a cancellation and get in sooner? She said she is unable to do that, but she could transfer me to the local office and I could check with them. She transferred me to the actual place I had my testing. I gave my name and other information. She said “Can you come in at 1pm today?” My heart just about stopped as I said yes. Even though I got an early time, the immediate response was of urgency it seemed and I was terrified. I arrived early to the center, and waited to be called. I heard my name and through those doors I went. I had my little conversation with the tech and she laughed. She took 1 x-ray of my right breast and 3 of the left. She took me to a waiting room, still in the gown in case there needed to be more x-rays after the doctor read them. As I sat in the waiting room, there was a tv playing an infomercial on Tomosynthesis 3D imaging. After what seemed forever, the tech came and got me for another x-ray….omgoodness. I asked about the Tomo and she said that is what we are doing. She further explained that it is a new technology and insurance companies are not paying for it yet, but the Doctor here said to go ahead and do it. Back to the room I went and waited. The tech finally came back and said I could get dressed and the doctor would be in to talk to me……..more waiting. Finally he arrived and said that everything was fine and negative. Shadows of the 2d were not there on the 3d. A huge sigh of relief! I suggest that if the new Tomosynthesis 3D imaging is available in your area, it is well worth the out of pocket expensive to alleviate false positive reading and going through what I experienced! Hopefully, the insurance companies will start covering this new machine…. it still squishes the boob, but it takes 52 shots in a pass so the doctor is able to see more! OSB __________________ You know that place between sleep and awake, the place where you can still remember dreaming? That's where I'll always love you. ~Tinkerbell~

02-16-2012, 12:52 PM	#680
Countyfem Member How Do You Identify?: Stone Femme Preferred Pronoun?: she/her Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: NC Posts: 244 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 469 Thanked 932 Times in 211 Posts Rep Power: 9455032	Sending everyone well wishes JustJo so sorry for this news my prayers are with you and your family OS glad to hear your news was good, adding you and your family to my prayers Clay I have a feeling everything will be good for you, you beat it once and if need be you can do it again! Take care everyone keep your spirits high and know there are folks that keep you in their thoughts and prayers and support you.