Jokes and things that made you laugh. - Page 10

Janstevie · 11-14-2011, 04:37 PM

Beer is proof that god loves us and wants us to be happy.

Janstevie · 11-15-2011, 06:30 PM

How Smart is Your Right Foot?

This is so funny that it will boggle your mind, and you will keep
trying at least 50 more times to see if you can outsmart your foot, but
you can't.

1. While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor
and make clockwise circles.

2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your
right hand. Your foot will change direction.

I told you so .....And there's nothing you can do about it

Gemme · 11-16-2011, 11:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Janstevie

How Smart is Your Right Foot?

This is so funny that it will boggle your mind, and you will keep
trying at least 50 more times to see if you can outsmart your foot, but
you can't.

1. While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor
and make clockwise circles.

2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your
right hand. Your foot will change direction.

I told you so .....And there's nothing you can do about it

That's fun!

I got Ebon with this.

kannon · 11-17-2011, 12:17 AM

Twilight is a story about a girl who has to choose between beastiality or nechrophilia!

Fancy · 11-17-2011, 05:09 AM

Novelafemme · 11-17-2011, 09:44 AM

I know I am going straight to hell for this, but it made me laugh so hard I peed a little.

Janstevie · 12-25-2011, 04:09 AM

How To Cook A Turkey:

First, buy the turkey and a bottle of vodka. Pour yourself a glass of vodka and put the turkey in the oven. Take another 2 drinks of vodka, and set the degree at 375 ovens. Have 3 more vodka of drink and turn the oven on. Take 4 of vodka drinky and turk the bastey. Stick a turkey in the thermometer, and glass yourself a pour of vodka. Bake the vodka for 4 hours, take the oven out of the turkey, and floor the turkey up off the pick. Pour yourself another glass of turkey. Now just tet the sable, and turk the carvey.

TheDreadPirateRoberts · 12-25-2011, 04:50 PM

one of the kids randomly making a comment...well fact... about monkeys ...

clay · 12-25-2011, 05:39 PM

Hmmmm now THAT was funny! Esp. in lieu of a recent conversation AND visual I had with someone recently...gives a whole new meaning to "one hot box"....jus' sayin'...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Janstevie

How To Cook A Turkey:

First, buy the turkey and a bottle of vodka. Pour yourself a glass of vodka and put the turkey in the oven. Take another 2 drinks of vodka, and set the degree at 375 ovens. Have 3 more vodka of drink and turn the oven on. Take 4 of vodka drinky and turk the bastey. Stick a turkey in the thermometer, and glass yourself a pour of vodka. Bake the vodka for 4 hours, take the oven out of the turkey, and floor the turkey up off the pick. Pour yourself another glass of turkey. Now just tet the sable, and turk the carvey.

Janstevie · 12-31-2011, 02:54 AM

It all began with an iPhone...
March, was when our son celebrated his 17th birthday, and we got him an iPhone. He just loved it. Who wouldn't?

I celebrated my birthday in July, and my wife made me very happy when she bought me an iPad.

Our daughter's birthday was in August, so we got her an iPod Touch.

My wife celebrated her birthday in September, so I got her an iRon.

It was around then that the fight started...

I dont remember much, just a lot of shouting from my wife..... iWash, iCook, and iClean.

I should be out of the hospital next week!!
iHurt.

..

Rook · 01-06-2012, 09:33 AM

Honey · 01-06-2012, 10:07 AM

Q: How can you tell the difference btw an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?

A: By the taste

Novelafemme · 01-06-2012, 10:30 AM

Dear Buddha - I want to have your peace...
your wisdom, your serenity, your divine nature... your acorn hat!
Love,
Squirrel

Janstevie · 02-09-2012, 04:24 PM

Some days it's not even worth chewing through the restraints.

adorable · 02-10-2012, 06:10 AM

Janstevie · 02-14-2012, 07:29 AM

Happy Valentine everyone,
Tonight will be just like last year, Romantic meal for one, wine for 4.

Janstevie · 02-15-2012, 07:41 AM

Came home one day early in December to find all my doors and windows smashed in and everything gone. What sort of sick person does that to someone's Advent calendar.?

~BluEydFemme~ · 02-16-2012, 12:52 PM

If Peter Piper picked a peck of Pickled Peppers,
A peck of Pickled Pepper Peter Piper picked....
If Peter Piper picked a peck of Pickled Peppers,
How many Pickled Peppers did Peter Piper Pick???

Janstevie · 03-15-2012, 03:26 AM

A cruise on the Pacific goes all wrong, the ship sinks, and there are only 3 survivors; Jim, Tom and Susie.
They manage to swim to a small island and they live there for a couple of years doing what's natural for men and women to do.
After several years of casual sex, all the time, Susie felt absolutely horrible about what she was doing.
She felt having sex with both Jim and Tom was so immoral and bad that she killed herself.
It was tragic, but Jim and Tom managed to get through it. After a while, Jim and Tom's resistance to nature's urgings waned, and the inevitable happened.
Well, a couple more years went by and Jim and Tom began to feel absolutely horrible about what they were doing.
So, they buried Susie.

theoddz · 03-28-2012, 04:13 PM

First, let me say that I adore history. I read as much as I can about all of it. I just love it!!!

I was reading an article online today about Queen Victoria and Prince Albert. The article was written by Julian Fellowes, the author of the screenplay for the movie, "The Young Victoria", which first came out about three years ago. One of the historical facts that this movie aimed at bringing out was the fact that Queen Victoria had a wonderful sense and appreciation for humor, particularly during the earlier years of her life and during the happy years of her marriage to Prince Albert. We don't commonly associate our image of Queen Victoria as much other than the depressed, dour, straightlaced monarch who is pictured later in her life wearing black and living in near seclusion after the death of her husband, Prince Albert. When Victoria was young, she loved to laugh and had a wonderful sense of humor. The article contains this brief passage about something that happened during a dinner attended by Queen Victoria:

"An occasion at Windsor Castle reveals her immense sense of humour. It came during a formal dinner when she was seated next to a frightfully deaf naval admiral who was talking about his ship.

During a lull in the conversation, she asked, 'And how is your sister?' The admiral, who had misheard the question and was unaware of the change of topic, replied, 'Well ma'am, I'm thinking of taking her out of the water this summer, turning her over and giving her bottom a good scrape.'

Victoria laughed so much that there were tears streaming down her face, which reduced the rest of the table to fits of laughter as well. Eventually, she had to punch herself in the leg to control herself."

This kind of stuff tickles me.

Gotta love history.

The entire article is here: linkyloo

~Theo~

12-31-2011, 02:54 AM	#190
Janstevie Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Soft Butch Relationship Status: single Join Date: May 2010 Location: England Posts: 1,814 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 112 Thanked 1,331 Times in 411 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	It all began with an iPhone... March, was when our son celebrated his 17th birthday, and we got him an iPhone. He just loved it. Who wouldn't? I celebrated my birthday in July, and my wife made me very happy when she bought me an iPad. Our daughter's birthday was in August, so we got her an iPod Touch. My wife celebrated her birthday in September, so I got her an iRon. It was around then that the fight started... I dont remember much, just a lot of shouting from my wife..... iWash, iCook, and iClean. I should be out of the hospital next week!! iHurt. .. Last edited by Janstevie; 12-31-2011 at 02:59 AM.

01-06-2012, 09:33 AM	#191
Rook Senior Member How Do You Identify?: A.G - Stone Butch - GenderFuck Preferred Pronoun?: Hym, Hyz...or, just b respectable, it's not that hard.. Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Columbus Posts: 2,280 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,227 Thanked 3,182 Times in 1,287 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	__________________

02-16-2012, 12:52 PM	#198
~BluEydFemme~ Member How Do You Identify?: Fairy-Loving Femme Preferred Pronoun?: she/her Relationship Status: Waiting for that special Butch... Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: Pennsylvania Posts: 732 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 214 Thanked 144 Times in 83 Posts Rep Power: 5392159	Peter Piper and his Pickled Peppers If Peter Piper picked a peck of Pickled Peppers, A peck of Pickled Pepper Peter Piper picked.... If Peter Piper picked a peck of Pickled Peppers, How many Pickled Peppers did Peter Piper Pick??? __________________ FairyGirl

03-28-2012, 04:13 PM	#200
theoddz Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Cranky Old Poop Preferred Pronoun?: Mr. Beast Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Central Texas Posts: 3,536 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,106 Thanked 9,926 Times in 2,506 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	First, let me say that I adore history. I read as much as I can about all of it. I just love it!!! I was reading an article online today about Queen Victoria and Prince Albert. The article was written by Julian Fellowes, the author of the screenplay for the movie, "The Young Victoria", which first came out about three years ago. One of the historical facts that this movie aimed at bringing out was the fact that Queen Victoria had a wonderful sense and appreciation for humor, particularly during the earlier years of her life and during the happy years of her marriage to Prince Albert. We don't commonly associate our image of Queen Victoria as much other than the depressed, dour, straightlaced monarch who is pictured later in her life wearing black and living in near seclusion after the death of her husband, Prince Albert. When Victoria was young, she loved to laugh and had a wonderful sense of humor. The article contains this brief passage about something that happened during a dinner attended by Queen Victoria: "An occasion at Windsor Castle reveals her immense sense of humour. It came during a formal dinner when she was seated next to a frightfully deaf naval admiral who was talking about his ship. During a lull in the conversation, she asked, 'And how is your sister?' The admiral, who had misheard the question and was unaware of the change of topic, replied, 'Well ma'am, I'm thinking of taking her out of the water this summer, turning her over and giving her bottom a good scrape.' Victoria laughed so much that there were tears streaming down her face, which reduced the rest of the table to fits of laughter as well. Eventually, she had to punch herself in the leg to control herself." This kind of stuff tickles me. Gotta love history. The entire article is here: linkyloo *~Theo~* __________________ *"All that is gold does not glitter, Not all those who wander are lost; The old that is strong does not wither, Deep roots are not reached by the frost."* -- J. R. R. Tolkien

11-14-2011, 04:37 PM	#181
Janstevie Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Soft Butch Relationship Status: single Join Date: May 2010 Location: England Posts: 1,814 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 112 Thanked 1,331 Times in 411 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Beer is proof that god loves us and wants us to be happy.

11-15-2011, 06:30 PM	#182
Janstevie Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Soft Butch Relationship Status: single Join Date: May 2010 Location: England Posts: 1,814 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 112 Thanked 1,331 Times in 411 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	How Smart is Your Right Foot? This is so funny that it will boggle your mind, and you will keep trying at least 50 more times to see if you can outsmart your foot, but you can't. 1. While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles. 2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand. Your foot will change direction. I told you so .....And there's nothing you can do about it

11-17-2011, 12:17 AM	#184
kannon Member How Do You Identify?: bloke Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: Happy is the heart that believes in angels Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: Land of Milk and Honey Posts: 884 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,920 Thanked 2,068 Times in 584 Posts Rep Power: 21474851	Twilight is a story about a girl who has to choose between beastiality or nechrophilia!

11-17-2011, 05:09 AM	#185
Fancy Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: N/A Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: NY Posts: 3,742 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 7,696 Thanked 7,076 Times in 2,316 Posts Rep Power: 21474854

11-17-2011, 09:44 AM	#186
Novelafemme Timed Out - TOS Drama How Do You Identify?: ........ Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: ........ Posts: 2,402 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,981 Thanked 8,925 Times in 1,834 Posts Rep Power: 0	I know I am going straight to hell for this, but it made me laugh so hard I peed a little. <in case you don't get it...look for jesus>

12-25-2011, 04:09 AM	#187
Janstevie Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Soft Butch Relationship Status: single Join Date: May 2010 Location: England Posts: 1,814 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 112 Thanked 1,331 Times in 411 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	How To Cook A Turkey: First, buy the turkey and a bottle of vodka. Pour yourself a glass of vodka and put the turkey in the oven. Take another 2 drinks of vodka, and set the degree at 375 ovens. Have 3 more vodka of drink and turn the oven on. Take 4 of vodka drinky and turk the bastey. Stick a turkey in the thermometer, and glass yourself a pour of vodka. Bake the vodka for 4 hours, take the oven out of the turkey, and floor the turkey up off the pick. Pour yourself another glass of turkey. Now just tet the sable, and turk the carvey.

12-25-2011, 04:50 PM	#188
TheDreadPirateRoberts Member How Do You Identify?: self made Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: perfectly content with true love Join Date: Dec 2011 Location: Here&There Posts: 576 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 407 Thanked 895 Times in 487 Posts Rep Power: 6114335	one of the kids randomly making a comment...well fact... about monkeys ...

01-06-2012, 10:07 AM	#192
Honey Member How Do You Identify?: big femme heart..... in a tight girlie package Preferred Pronoun?: just call me Honey Relationship Status: Playin' 4 keeps with Tomboi1982 Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: New England Posts: 306 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 316 Thanked 613 Times in 184 Posts Rep Power: 10762767	Q: How can you tell the difference btw an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer? A: By the taste

01-06-2012, 10:30 AM	#193
Novelafemme Timed Out - TOS Drama How Do You Identify?: ........ Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: ........ Posts: 2,402 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,981 Thanked 8,925 Times in 1,834 Posts Rep Power: 0	Dear Buddha - I want to have your peace... your wisdom, your serenity, your divine nature... your acorn hat! Love, Squirrel

02-09-2012, 04:24 PM	#194
Janstevie Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Soft Butch Relationship Status: single Join Date: May 2010 Location: England Posts: 1,814 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 112 Thanked 1,331 Times in 411 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Some days it's not even worth chewing through the restraints.

02-10-2012, 06:10 AM	#195
adorable Member How Do You Identify?: Sarcastically Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Unavailable Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Home of the Yankee's Posts: 752 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,708 Thanked 2,643 Times in 590 Posts Rep Power: 12725119

02-14-2012, 07:29 AM	#196
Janstevie Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Soft Butch Relationship Status: single Join Date: May 2010 Location: England Posts: 1,814 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 112 Thanked 1,331 Times in 411 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Happy Valentine everyone, Tonight will be just like last year, Romantic meal for one, wine for 4.

02-15-2012, 07:41 AM	#197
Janstevie Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Soft Butch Relationship Status: single Join Date: May 2010 Location: England Posts: 1,814 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 112 Thanked 1,331 Times in 411 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Came home one day early in December to find all my doors and windows smashed in and everything gone. What sort of sick person does that to someone's Advent calendar.?

03-15-2012, 03:26 AM	#199
Janstevie Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Soft Butch Relationship Status: single Join Date: May 2010 Location: England Posts: 1,814 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 112 Thanked 1,331 Times in 411 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	A cruise on the Pacific goes all wrong, the ship sinks, and there are only 3 survivors; Jim, Tom and Susie. They manage to swim to a small island and they live there for a couple of years doing what's natural for men and women to do. After several years of casual sex, all the time, Susie felt absolutely horrible about what she was doing. She felt having sex with both Jim and Tom was so immoral and bad that she killed herself. It was tragic, but Jim and Tom managed to get through it. After a while, Jim and Tom's resistance to nature's urgings waned, and the inevitable happened. Well, a couple more years went by and Jim and Tom began to feel absolutely horrible about what they were doing. So, they buried Susie.