Sarcasm, Scathing Witticisms & Uninspiring Quotes

Inked_Trinity · 02-14-2012, 08:53 PM

TIPS FOR A BETTER LIFE..
1. Live without pretending. 2. Love without depending.
3. Listen without defending. 4. Speak without offending.

TimilDeeps · 02-14-2012, 09:13 PM

Dear math,

I am not a therapist. Solve your own problems.

Inked_Trinity · 02-18-2012, 09:45 AM

Me...behave? seriously?

Inked_Trinity · 02-18-2012, 09:45 AM

I hate it in restaurants when the waiter asks if you want a table... Like, No we'll just sit on the floor!

Okiebug61 · 02-18-2012, 09:52 AM

Would the people who stand in large groups in the middle of the entry way of establishments please get the hell out the way! You really aren't that important.

Inked_Trinity · 02-21-2012, 07:38 PM

Being one of the many who has lost flexibility with age. It never fails to amaze me how I can still get my foot in my mouth!!!

Inked_Trinity · 02-21-2012, 07:39 PM

I've read the rules. I've tried the rules. The rules are stupid, & I'm making my own from now on.

SugarFemme · 02-21-2012, 07:43 PM

Had an appointment to get my blood drawn at my doctors office. Was called in. Handed paper for blood draw requirements to lab tech. Lab tech then asked me, "How may I help you today"?? I replied-"Isn't it obvious?? I'm here to buy a Mercedes Benz. Isn't this the dealership??". It's like, "Hellloooo Captain Obvious" LMAO. I heard my doc cracking up in her office.

Inked_Trinity · 02-22-2012, 08:39 PM

And now, for my amazing feat today, I shall turn water into coffee!!

Inked_Trinity · 02-22-2012, 08:40 PM

Here, put these floaties on your ankles ..

JustJo · 02-22-2012, 08:49 PM

I'd like to slap you senseless, but I see that someone already has.

Inked_Trinity · 02-24-2012, 04:54 PM

Happiness is a door that must be opened from the inside

TimilDeeps · 02-24-2012, 05:40 PM

I can melt ice with my mind . . . it just takes a few minutes.

Inked_Trinity · 02-25-2012, 08:44 AM

I used to believe in things like Fate and Destiny...then I realized those are just stripper names!

Inked_Trinity · 02-27-2012, 08:43 AM

I'm feeling super lazy today. It's like normal lazy, except I'm wearing a cape and mask.

Inked_Trinity · 02-27-2012, 08:50 AM

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.

Inked_Trinity · 03-03-2012, 07:45 AM

willing to join a cult that is located in a tropical paradise with no actual agenda

Inked_Trinity · 03-03-2012, 07:46 AM

Lazy rule: can`t reach it... don`t need it.

Inked_Trinity · 03-08-2012, 06:51 PM

Nothing is more discouraging than unappreciated sarcasm.

TimilDeeps · 03-08-2012, 08:08 PM

without "me" it's just "aweso"

02-14-2012, 08:53 PM	#1
Inked_Trinity Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: BadAss! / Sarcastic Bastard! Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Earth Posts: 2,352 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,507 Thanked 6,925 Times in 1,818 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	TIPS FOR A BETTER LIFE.. 1. Live without pretending. 2. Love without depending. 3. Listen without defending. 4. Speak without offending. __________________ Tell me I can't do it.. then stand back and watch me amaze you.

02-18-2012, 09:45 AM	#3
Inked_Trinity Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: BadAss! / Sarcastic Bastard! Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Earth Posts: 2,352 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,507 Thanked 6,925 Times in 1,818 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Me...behave? seriously? __________________ Tell me I can't do it.. then stand back and watch me amaze you.

02-18-2012, 09:45 AM	#4
Inked_Trinity Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: BadAss! / Sarcastic Bastard! Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Earth Posts: 2,352 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,507 Thanked 6,925 Times in 1,818 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	I hate it in restaurants when the waiter asks if you want a table... Like, No we'll just sit on the floor! __________________ Tell me I can't do it.. then stand back and watch me amaze you.

02-18-2012, 09:52 AM	#5
Okiebug61 Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Light Butch Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Hitched to Red Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 1,528 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,261 Thanked 5,378 Times in 1,245 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Would the people who stand in large groups in the middle of the entry way of establishments please get the hell out the way! You really aren't that important. __________________ "Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawake." ~ Anatole France

02-21-2012, 07:38 PM	#6
Inked_Trinity Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: BadAss! / Sarcastic Bastard! Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Earth Posts: 2,352 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,507 Thanked 6,925 Times in 1,818 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Being one of the many who has lost flexibility with age. It never fails to amaze me how I can still get my foot in my mouth!!! __________________ Tell me I can't do it.. then stand back and watch me amaze you.

02-14-2012, 09:13 PM	#2
TimilDeeps Senior Member How Do You Identify?: queer fucker Preferred Pronoun?: Mine Relationship Status: I'm dating myself. It's really working out. I think I'm the one!!! Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: To your right and a bit South. Posts: 1,522 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 108 Thanked 1,470 Times in 445 Posts Rep Power: 19646657	Dear math, I am not a therapist. Solve your own problems.

02-21-2012, 07:39 PM	#7
Inked_Trinity Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: BadAss! / Sarcastic Bastard! Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Earth Posts: 2,352 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,507 Thanked 6,925 Times in 1,818 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	I've read the rules. I've tried the rules. The rules are stupid, & I'm making my own from now on. __________________ Tell me I can't do it.. then stand back and watch me amaze you.

02-21-2012, 07:43 PM	#8
SugarFemme Member How Do You Identify?: Fierce Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Singular Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Southwest Posts: 1,029 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 650 Thanked 4,458 Times in 854 Posts Rep Power*: 21474852	Had an appointment to get my blood drawn at my doctors office. Was called in. Handed paper for blood draw requirements to lab tech. Lab tech then asked me, "How may I help you today"?? I replied-"Isn't it obvious?? I'm here to buy a Mercedes Benz. Isn't this the dealership??". It's like, "Hellloooo Captain Obvious" LMAO. I heard my doc cracking up in her office.

02-22-2012, 08:39 PM	#9
Inked_Trinity Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: BadAss! / Sarcastic Bastard! Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Earth Posts: 2,352 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,507 Thanked 6,925 Times in 1,818 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	And now, for my amazing feat today, I shall turn water into coffee!! __________________ Tell me I can't do it.. then stand back and watch me amaze you.

02-22-2012, 08:40 PM	#10
Inked_Trinity Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: BadAss! / Sarcastic Bastard! Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Earth Posts: 2,352 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,507 Thanked 6,925 Times in 1,818 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Here, put these floaties on your ankles .. __________________ Tell me I can't do it.. then stand back and watch me amaze you.

02-22-2012, 08:49 PM	#11
JustJo Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: pushy broad Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: Follow your heart; it knows things your mind cannot explain. Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Southeast corner Posts: 5,633 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 24,417 Thanked 25,404 Times in 4,660 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	Came across this one today and it made me laugh....thought I'd share... I'd like to slap you senseless, but I see that someone already has. __________________ I'm not tall enough to ride emotional roller coasters

02-24-2012, 04:54 PM	#12
Inked_Trinity Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: BadAss! / Sarcastic Bastard! Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Earth Posts: 2,352 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,507 Thanked 6,925 Times in 1,818 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Happiness is a door that must be opened from the inside __________________ Tell me I can't do it.. then stand back and watch me amaze you.

02-24-2012, 05:40 PM	#13
TimilDeeps Senior Member How Do You Identify?: queer fucker Preferred Pronoun?: Mine Relationship Status: I'm dating myself. It's really working out. I think I'm the one!!! Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: To your right and a bit South. Posts: 1,522 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 108 Thanked 1,470 Times in 445 Posts Rep Power: 19646657	I can melt ice with my mind . . . it just takes a few minutes.

02-25-2012, 08:44 AM	#14
Inked_Trinity Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: BadAss! / Sarcastic Bastard! Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Earth Posts: 2,352 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,507 Thanked 6,925 Times in 1,818 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	I used to believe in things like Fate and Destiny...then I realized those are just stripper names! __________________ Tell me I can't do it.. then stand back and watch me amaze you.

02-27-2012, 08:43 AM	#15
Inked_Trinity Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: BadAss! / Sarcastic Bastard! Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Earth Posts: 2,352 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,507 Thanked 6,925 Times in 1,818 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	I'm feeling super lazy today. It's like normal lazy, except I'm wearing a cape and mask. __________________ Tell me I can't do it.. then stand back and watch me amaze you.

02-27-2012, 08:50 AM	#16
Inked_Trinity Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: BadAss! / Sarcastic Bastard! Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Earth Posts: 2,352 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,507 Thanked 6,925 Times in 1,818 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. __________________ Tell me I can't do it.. then stand back and watch me amaze you.

03-03-2012, 07:45 AM	#17
Inked_Trinity Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: BadAss! / Sarcastic Bastard! Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Earth Posts: 2,352 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,507 Thanked 6,925 Times in 1,818 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	willing to join a cult that is located in a tropical paradise with no actual agenda __________________ Tell me I can't do it.. then stand back and watch me amaze you.

03-03-2012, 07:46 AM	#18
Inked_Trinity Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: BadAss! / Sarcastic Bastard! Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Earth Posts: 2,352 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,507 Thanked 6,925 Times in 1,818 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Lazy rule: can`t reach it... don`t need it. __________________ Tell me I can't do it.. then stand back and watch me amaze you.

03-08-2012, 06:51 PM	#19
Inked_Trinity Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: BadAss! / Sarcastic Bastard! Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Earth Posts: 2,352 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,507 Thanked 6,925 Times in 1,818 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Nothing is more discouraging than unappreciated sarcasm. __________________ Tell me I can't do it.. then stand back and watch me amaze you.

03-08-2012, 08:08 PM	#20
TimilDeeps Senior Member How Do You Identify?: queer fucker Preferred Pronoun?: Mine Relationship Status: I'm dating myself. It's really working out. I think I'm the one!!! Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: To your right and a bit South. Posts: 1,522 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 108 Thanked 1,470 Times in 445 Posts Rep Power: 19646657	without "me" it's just "aweso"