Sarcasm, Scathing Witticisms & Uninspiring Quotes - Page 15

Inked_Trinity · 02-14-2012, 08:53 PM

TIPS FOR A BETTER LIFE..
1. Live without pretending. 2. Love without depending.
3. Listen without defending. 4. Speak without offending.

TimilDeeps · 02-14-2012, 09:13 PM

Dear math,

I am not a therapist. Solve your own problems.

TimilDeeps · 02-15-2012, 10:42 AM

The last thing I want to do is hurt you but it's still on my list.

genghisfawn · 02-15-2012, 11:37 AM

My grandfather used to say something interesting about dealing with recalcitrant people... "It's like wrestling a pig. All that happens is that you get dirty, which makes the pig happy."

TimilDeeps · 02-15-2012, 12:06 PM

Everything is easier said than done, except for talking; that's about the same.

Inked_Trinity · 02-18-2012, 09:39 AM

Good Morning my friends! Your golden ray of sarcastic sunshine has arisen!

Inked_Trinity · 02-18-2012, 09:45 AM

Me...behave? seriously?

Inked_Trinity · 02-18-2012, 09:45 AM

I hate it in restaurants when the waiter asks if you want a table... Like, No we'll just sit on the floor!

Okiebug61 · 02-18-2012, 09:52 AM

Would the people who stand in large groups in the middle of the entry way of establishments please get the hell out the way! You really aren't that important.

Inked_Trinity · 02-21-2012, 07:38 PM

Being one of the many who has lost flexibility with age. It never fails to amaze me how I can still get my foot in my mouth!!!

Inked_Trinity · 02-21-2012, 07:39 PM

I've read the rules. I've tried the rules. The rules are stupid, & I'm making my own from now on.

SugarFemme · 02-21-2012, 07:43 PM

Had an appointment to get my blood drawn at my doctors office. Was called in. Handed paper for blood draw requirements to lab tech. Lab tech then asked me, "How may I help you today"?? I replied-"Isn't it obvious?? I'm here to buy a Mercedes Benz. Isn't this the dealership??". It's like, "Hellloooo Captain Obvious" LMAO. I heard my doc cracking up in her office.

Okiebug61 · 02-22-2012, 02:32 PM

I get tired of saying I just want a large coke at a drive thru only to be bombarded with questions about fries, pie and shakes. I sometimes want to order it all then change my mind when I get to the window, but I realize that would be bad karma. Thinking about doing does make one feel good for a moment. :-)

Inked_Trinity · 02-22-2012, 08:39 PM

And now, for my amazing feat today, I shall turn water into coffee!!

Inked_Trinity · 02-22-2012, 08:40 PM

Here, put these floaties on your ankles ..

JustJo · 02-22-2012, 08:49 PM

I'd like to slap you senseless, but I see that someone already has.

Inked_Trinity · 02-24-2012, 04:54 PM

Happiness is a door that must be opened from the inside

TimilDeeps · 02-24-2012, 05:40 PM

I can melt ice with my mind . . . it just takes a few minutes.

Inked_Trinity · 02-25-2012, 08:44 AM

I used to believe in things like Fate and Destiny...then I realized those are just stripper names!

Inked_Trinity · 02-27-2012, 08:43 AM

I'm feeling super lazy today. It's like normal lazy, except I'm wearing a cape and mask.

02-14-2012, 08:53 PM	#281
Inked_Trinity Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: BadAss! / Sarcastic Bastard! Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Earth Posts: 2,352 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,507 Thanked 6,926 Times in 1,818 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	TIPS FOR A BETTER LIFE.. 1. Live without pretending. 2. Love without depending. 3. Listen without defending. 4. Speak without offending. __________________ Tell me I can't do it.. then stand back and watch me amaze you.

02-18-2012, 09:39 AM	#286
Inked_Trinity Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: BadAss! / Sarcastic Bastard! Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Earth Posts: 2,352 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,507 Thanked 6,926 Times in 1,818 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Good Morning my friends! Your golden ray of sarcastic sunshine has arisen! __________________ Tell me I can't do it.. then stand back and watch me amaze you.

02-18-2012, 09:45 AM	#287
Inked_Trinity Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: BadAss! / Sarcastic Bastard! Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Earth Posts: 2,352 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,507 Thanked 6,926 Times in 1,818 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Me...behave? seriously? __________________ Tell me I can't do it.. then stand back and watch me amaze you.

02-18-2012, 09:45 AM	#288
Inked_Trinity Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: BadAss! / Sarcastic Bastard! Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Earth Posts: 2,352 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,507 Thanked 6,926 Times in 1,818 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	I hate it in restaurants when the waiter asks if you want a table... Like, No we'll just sit on the floor! __________________ Tell me I can't do it.. then stand back and watch me amaze you.

02-18-2012, 09:52 AM	#289
Okiebug61 Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Light Butch Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Hitched to Red Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 1,528 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,261 Thanked 5,377 Times in 1,245 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Would the people who stand in large groups in the middle of the entry way of establishments please get the hell out the way! You really aren't that important. __________________ "Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawake." ~ Anatole France

02-14-2012, 09:13 PM	#282
TimilDeeps Senior Member How Do You Identify?: queer fucker Preferred Pronoun?: Mine Relationship Status: I'm dating myself. It's really working out. I think I'm the one!!! Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: To your right and a bit South. Posts: 1,522 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 108 Thanked 1,470 Times in 445 Posts Rep Power: 19646657	Dear math, I am not a therapist. Solve your own problems.

02-15-2012, 10:42 AM	#283
TimilDeeps Senior Member How Do You Identify?: queer fucker Preferred Pronoun?: Mine Relationship Status: I'm dating myself. It's really working out. I think I'm the one!!! Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: To your right and a bit South. Posts: 1,522 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 108 Thanked 1,470 Times in 445 Posts Rep Power: 19646657	The last thing I want to do is hurt you but it's still on my list.

02-15-2012, 11:37 AM	#284
genghisfawn Member How Do You Identify?: Femme/Gentlewoman Preferred Pronoun?: She/her Relationship Status: Happily married 05/17/14 Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: Saskatchewan, Canada Posts: 561 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,056 Thanked 2,158 Times in 403 Posts Rep Power: 21474850	My grandfather used to say something interesting about dealing with recalcitrant people... "It's like wrestling a pig. All that happens is that you get dirty, which makes the pig happy."

02-15-2012, 12:06 PM	#285
TimilDeeps Senior Member How Do You Identify?: queer fucker Preferred Pronoun?: Mine Relationship Status: I'm dating myself. It's really working out. I think I'm the one!!! Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: To your right and a bit South. Posts: 1,522 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 108 Thanked 1,470 Times in 445 Posts Rep Power: 19646657	Everything is easier said than done, except for talking; that's about the same.

02-21-2012, 07:38 PM	#290
Inked_Trinity Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: BadAss! / Sarcastic Bastard! Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Earth Posts: 2,352 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,507 Thanked 6,926 Times in 1,818 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Being one of the many who has lost flexibility with age. It never fails to amaze me how I can still get my foot in my mouth!!! __________________ Tell me I can't do it.. then stand back and watch me amaze you.

02-21-2012, 07:39 PM	#291
Inked_Trinity Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: BadAss! / Sarcastic Bastard! Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Earth Posts: 2,352 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,507 Thanked 6,926 Times in 1,818 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	I've read the rules. I've tried the rules. The rules are stupid, & I'm making my own from now on. __________________ Tell me I can't do it.. then stand back and watch me amaze you.

02-21-2012, 07:43 PM	#292
SugarFemme Member How Do You Identify?: Fierce Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Singular Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Southwest Posts: 1,029 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 650 Thanked 4,460 Times in 854 Posts Rep Power*: 21474851	Had an appointment to get my blood drawn at my doctors office. Was called in. Handed paper for blood draw requirements to lab tech. Lab tech then asked me, "How may I help you today"?? I replied-"Isn't it obvious?? I'm here to buy a Mercedes Benz. Isn't this the dealership??". It's like, "Hellloooo Captain Obvious" LMAO. I heard my doc cracking up in her office.

02-22-2012, 02:32 PM	#293
Okiebug61 Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Light Butch Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Hitched to Red Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 1,528 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,261 Thanked 5,377 Times in 1,245 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	I get tired of saying I just want a large coke at a drive thru only to be bombarded with questions about fries, pie and shakes. I sometimes want to order it all then change my mind when I get to the window, but I realize that would be bad karma. Thinking about doing does make one feel good for a moment. :-) __________________ "Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawake." ~ Anatole France

02-22-2012, 08:39 PM	#294
Inked_Trinity Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: BadAss! / Sarcastic Bastard! Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Earth Posts: 2,352 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,507 Thanked 6,926 Times in 1,818 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	And now, for my amazing feat today, I shall turn water into coffee!! __________________ Tell me I can't do it.. then stand back and watch me amaze you.

02-22-2012, 08:40 PM	#295
Inked_Trinity Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: BadAss! / Sarcastic Bastard! Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Earth Posts: 2,352 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,507 Thanked 6,926 Times in 1,818 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Here, put these floaties on your ankles .. __________________ Tell me I can't do it.. then stand back and watch me amaze you.

02-22-2012, 08:49 PM	#296
JustJo Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: pushy broad Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: Follow your heart; it knows things your mind cannot explain. Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Southeast corner Posts: 5,633 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 24,417 Thanked 25,406 Times in 4,660 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	Came across this one today and it made me laugh....thought I'd share... I'd like to slap you senseless, but I see that someone already has. __________________ I'm not tall enough to ride emotional roller coasters

02-24-2012, 04:54 PM	#297
Inked_Trinity Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: BadAss! / Sarcastic Bastard! Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Earth Posts: 2,352 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,507 Thanked 6,926 Times in 1,818 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Happiness is a door that must be opened from the inside __________________ Tell me I can't do it.. then stand back and watch me amaze you.

02-24-2012, 05:40 PM	#298
TimilDeeps Senior Member How Do You Identify?: queer fucker Preferred Pronoun?: Mine Relationship Status: I'm dating myself. It's really working out. I think I'm the one!!! Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: To your right and a bit South. Posts: 1,522 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 108 Thanked 1,470 Times in 445 Posts Rep Power: 19646657	I can melt ice with my mind . . . it just takes a few minutes.

02-25-2012, 08:44 AM	#299
Inked_Trinity Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: BadAss! / Sarcastic Bastard! Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Earth Posts: 2,352 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,507 Thanked 6,926 Times in 1,818 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	I used to believe in things like Fate and Destiny...then I realized those are just stripper names! __________________ Tell me I can't do it.. then stand back and watch me amaze you.

02-27-2012, 08:43 AM	#300
Inked_Trinity Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: BadAss! / Sarcastic Bastard! Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Earth Posts: 2,352 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,507 Thanked 6,926 Times in 1,818 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	I'm feeling super lazy today. It's like normal lazy, except I'm wearing a cape and mask. __________________ Tell me I can't do it.. then stand back and watch me amaze you.