Jokes and things that made you laugh.

[~BluEydFemme~]

If Peter Piper picked a peck of Pickled Peppers,
A peck of Pickled Pepper Peter Piper picked....
If Peter Piper picked a peck of Pickled Peppers,
How many Pickled Peppers did Peter Piper Pick???

[Janstevie]

A cruise on the Pacific goes all wrong, the ship sinks, and there are only 3 survivors; Jim, Tom and Susie.
They manage to swim to a small island and they live there for a couple of years doing what's natural for men and women to do.
After several years of casual sex, all the time, Susie felt absolutely horrible about what she was doing.
She felt having sex with both Jim and Tom was so immoral and bad that she killed herself.
It was tragic, but Jim and Tom managed to get through it. After a while, Jim and Tom's resistance to nature's urgings waned, and the inevitable happened.
Well, a couple more years went by and Jim and Tom began to feel absolutely horrible about what they were doing.
So, they buried Susie.

[theoddz]

First, let me say that I adore history. I read as much as I can about all of it. I just love it!!!

I was reading an article online today about Queen Victoria and Prince Albert. The article was written by Julian Fellowes, the author of the screenplay for the movie, "The Young Victoria", which first came out about three years ago. One of the historical facts that this movie aimed at bringing out was the fact that Queen Victoria had a wonderful sense and appreciation for humor, particularly during the earlier years of her life and during the happy years of her marriage to Prince Albert. We don't commonly associate our image of Queen Victoria as much other than the depressed, dour, straightlaced monarch who is pictured later in her life wearing black and living in near seclusion after the death of her husband, Prince Albert. When Victoria was young, she loved to laugh and had a wonderful sense of humor. The article contains this brief passage about something that happened during a dinner attended by Queen Victoria:

"An occasion at Windsor Castle reveals her immense sense of humour. It came during a formal dinner when she was seated next to a frightfully deaf naval admiral who was talking about his ship.

During a lull in the conversation, she asked, 'And how is your sister?' The admiral, who had misheard the question and was unaware of the change of topic, replied, 'Well ma'am, I'm thinking of taking her out of the water this summer, turning her over and giving her bottom a good scrape.'

Victoria laughed so much that there were tears streaming down her face, which reduced the rest of the table to fits of laughter as well. Eventually, she had to punch herself in the leg to control herself."

This kind of stuff tickles me.

Gotta love history.

The entire article is here: linkyloo

~Theo~

[WolfyOne]

The train was quite crowded, so a U.S. Marine walked the entire length looking for a seat, but the only seat left was taken by a well dressed, middle-aged, French woman's poodle. The war-weary Marine asked, 'Ma'am, may I have that seat?' The French woman just sniffed and said to no one in particular 'Americans are so rude. My little Fifi is using that seat.'

The Marine walked the entire train again, but the only seat left was under that dog. 'Please, ma'am. May I sit down? I'm very tired. She snorted, 'Not only are you Americans rude, you are also arrogant!' This time the Marine didn't say a word; he just picked up the little dog, threw it out of the train window, and sat down.

The woman shrieked, 'Someone must defend my honor! This American should be put in his place!' An English gentleman sitting nearby spoke up, 'Sir, you Americans often seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You hold the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your cars on the wrong side of the road. And now, sir, you seem to have thrown the wrong bitch out of the window.'

[Janstevie]

"When the waitress asked if I wanted my pizza cut into four or eight slices, I said, 'Four. I don’t think I can eat eight.'"

[Janstevie]

Kids are like farts. You don’t mind your own, but other peoples are unbearable.

[Janstevie]

Whenever i feel like exercise i lie down until the feeling passes