What every Femme should know...

[Julie]

Originally Posted by JistMe

Wow. I found it somewhere, and posted. I didn't pick the language/pronouns. It was late, I just posted it. I actually intended it to end up in an entirely different thread, but lookie here... its a thread of it's own. lol If I offended someone.... I apologize?

Jist...

Honestly - I think it's good you posted it. It gave opportunity for discussion and cleared the way for an important conversation.

Please continue posting -- I know sometimes it can be scary, especially when there are so many people jumping in and posting their thoughts, which are not necessarily favorable... But that does not mean it is bad. I know I certainly spoke my peace, and I am glad I had the opportunity to.

What every Femme should know... Certainly will not come from prose written by a man or a butch. It will come from her and will come from the dialogue she shares with other Femmes.

It's all good - Hopefully you learned something too.

Julie

[JistMe]

Originally Posted by Julie

Jist...

Honestly - I think it's good you posted it. It gave opportunity for discussion and cleared the way for an important conversation.

Please continue posting -- I know sometimes it can be scary, especially when there are so many people jumping in and posting their thoughts, which are not necessarily favorable... But that does not mean it is bad. I know I certainly spoke my peace, and I am glad I had the opportunity to.

What every Femme should know... Certainly will not come from prose written by a man or a butch. It will come from her and will come from the dialogue she shares with other Femmes.

It's all good - Hopefully you learned something too.

Julie

Oh yes... I did. I learned how new people must feel coming in here, and trying to post. Lucky for me, I am not a newbie.... have been a poster many years.
And no... I am not scared to post again. There's not much in this life that does scare me, and a little criticism is not on the list.
I'm just a little disheartened that something so simple, and well intended .... can be taken so literally that people even have a 'discussion' about it.
Not to mention... it was posted in a forum that was supposed to be for writings and ramblings, and not a philosophical discussion board.
All of that aside, it has nothing to do with being afraid or intimidated... or even caring... about someone else's opinion. It has to do with what a waste of my time and energy it is for me to even go read the replies. Why post?
One last note --- It never ceases to amaze me how much people can (or THINK they can) glean from one silly post. I went from being in a sweet and swoony mood over a great girl, to now a chauvinistic pig... ? .....
Not a single one of you (aside from grenade) even know me. So.... quite the judgement leap on your part.
I am actually pretty sweet. I am polite, generous to a fault, and am one of the only ones to stand up for the ladies in chat, or in real life. I am all about a woman standing on her own two feet, and speaking her mind. She doesn't need me, or anyone else to be whole. That's what I love the most about them.
But then.... none of you know that. Do you?

[pynkkameleon]

Originally Posted by JistMe

Someone out there was meant to be the love of your life... your best friend; your soul mate.
He'll brush the hair out of your eyes, and send you flowers when you least expect it.
He'll stare at you during the movies, even though he paid $30 to see it.
He'll call you to tell you goodnight, or just because he is missing you.
He will call you right back when you hang up on him.
He'll lay with you under the stars listening to your heartbeat... or stay awake all night just to watch you sleep.
He'll kiss your forehead for no reason, and hold your hand in front of your Dad. He'll say you are just as beautiful without makeup on, and show you off to the world when you're in sweats.
He will constantly remind you how lucky he is to have you.
He'll look in your eyes and tell you that you are the most beautiful woman in the world, and for the first time in your life... you'll believe it.
You will know when you find him ---
He will be the one who turns to his friends, and says...
"Thats her..."

I daresay that this was posted for a particular Femme.. and not as a means to imply that ALL Femme's need or want this. It was meant to bring a smile to a certain woman's face. It was meant to let her know that she was wanted, appreciated and cherished. I think that the purpose and the sentiment behind it is simple and beautiful. It was never intended to be anything other than the sweet words one shares when they find themselves wanting to speak from their heart.

None of us can speak for any one particular group. What one person may want/need will vary. I am a strong Femme Woman. I honor my Femme Sisters. At the same time I still wish for that "love of my life, best friend and soul mate." That doesn't make me any less strong or able to stand on my own. It also doesn't mean that I NEED that in my life but I do think it would be wonderful to find someday. I also respect that there are many people that have no desire for that kind of relationship and that's okay too. Honor that we are all different and appreciate the loving sentiment behind the message. We see enough hate and judgement out there in the world. It's nice to see a bit of love and appreciation.

[Tcountry]

Every femme should kno ...
... that her/hir(etc) ideas, ideals, dreams, passions, & realities are as unique as any freckles she may have, expression she chooses to show, & opinion she voices...
... that it is ok to want the fairytale & it's ok to be alone
... that u can cuss like a sailor & turn heads in ur favorite outfit
... that words like need, want, desire, passion, & romance mean different things to different people... kno what they mean to You
... kno your reality, dream your dreams, appreciate art(however it is expressed) for what it is & live the life that makes You happy

*tip hat*

[Corkey]

So we should not have the discussion? Or are we to not comment on misogyny? Or are we to sit placidly back while a whole group of people are marginalized?

Yea that's not going to happen obviously.

[GinaSofia]

JistMe, I loved your quote & didn't feel the need to dissect/inspect/analyze/criticize it.
I LOVE catching my Love looking at me when I least expect it.It happened just tonight before I read your post so when I did read your post it made me feel all mushy. Thanks!
I'm also fortunate to receive everything else from the quote from my spouse(except the watching me sleep bit-she sleeps like a bear & I rarely do). While I don't need it to validate me, it sure feels fucking good!
You don't need anyone to validate you or your posts(unless you're violating the TOA) so, let everyone's differing opinions roll off your back. Someone will always find some reason to get their stinger out of joint.

[GinaSofia]

Originally Posted by Julie

Let us not forget.

Being Femme means you honor and respect your Femme Sisters.

Being a Femme's Femme is more important than any Butch on this planet.

What?
I'm married before anything else. My spouse will always come before any friendship, femme or other. I didn't take vows with any of my friends to put them before all others & I wouldn't expect my friends to put me in higher regard than their SO's either.

[~ocean]

** applauds gina ** i loved that poem that "jist me" shared as well. I'd like to be the jewl in hys eyes.

[Julie]

Originally Posted by GinaSofia

What?
I'm married before anything else. My spouse will always come before any friendship, femme or other. I didn't take vows with any of my friends to put them before all others & I wouldn't expect my friends to put me in higher regard than their SO's either.

What is the question?
Or are you just making a statement?
Confused by your language structure.

Julie

[Julie]

Originally Posted by JistMe

Oh yes... I did. I learned how new people must feel coming in here, and trying to post. Lucky for me, I am not a newbie.... have been a poster many years.
And no... I am not scared to post again. There's not much in this life that does scare me, and a little criticism is not on the list.
I'm just a little disheartened that something so simple, and well intended .... can be taken so literally that people even have a 'discussion' about it.
Not to mention... it was posted in a forum that was supposed to be for writings and ramblings, and not a philosophical discussion board.
All of that aside, it has nothing to do with being afraid or intimidated... or even caring... about someone else's opinion. It has to do with what a waste of my time and energy it is for me to even go read the replies. Why post?
One last note --- It never ceases to amaze me how much people can (or THINK they can) glean from one silly post. I went from being in a sweet and swoony mood over a great girl, to now a chauvinistic pig... ? .....
Not a single one of you (aside from grenade) even know me. So.... quite the judgement leap on your part.
I am actually pretty sweet. I am polite, generous to a fault, and am one of the only ones to stand up for the ladies in chat, or in real life. I am all about a woman standing on her own two feet, and speaking her mind. She doesn't need me, or anyone else to be whole. That's what I love the most about them.
But then.... none of you know that. Do you?

Jist,

You are taking this from a negative standpoint, not a positive one. You are not seeing the value in your posting and how it brought out all of the positive words from Femme's.

If I were a Butch and saw how my original (while misogynistic in my view) posting was turned around and brought out some wonderful words (empowering) from Femme's -- I would be feeling pretty good right about now. I would feel as if I learned a great deal from some of the Femme's in this community. And I don't believe anybody took your head off. We just put our own thoughts in there (which we are entitled to do).

I clearly disagreed with the words of the writer of the prose. Especially coming from a Femme's standpoint (Mine).

Instead of thanking the Femme's who posted... You are feeling somewhat wounded. I am sorry for this.

Julie

[weatherboi]

i often see posts and threads that describe how femmes should act or be perceived. It leads to some really educational conversations about how greatly diverse and empowering the femme community is! i am always disappointed when it gets met with the same sentiment and defense. It is disheartening to see so many people get defensive about people making a stand for their own style of space. Can we please stop playing victim long enough to have a thoughtful conversation where everybody gets heard?

As a male identified person, i learned there are some things i am guilty of and i am glad people came in and spoke there minds about what is good for them and what isn't.

[Kobi]

I can see why Jist might be a little confused by the reaction and how to interpret it. Julie's clarification did help shed some insight on this.

I am a little confused myself and trust someone can help me out.

The original title: "what every Femme should know", can be seen as a blanket(generalized) statement that might ruffle feathers.

"Being Femme means you honor and respect your Femme Sisters." and "Being a Femme's Femme is more important than any Butch on this planet." also appear to be blanket (generalized) statements yet they dont seem to be as much of an issue.

So, I am confused as to what exactly is it about blanket (generalizations)statements that is problematic?

Is it when the id of the OP may differ from from the id about whom the actual post is about that makes it problematic i.e. if a Femme posted it, it might not be quite as troublesome. But, a non Femme posting it makes it more indicative of <misogyny, stereotyping, whatever other terms work>.

Is it the actual content where one might be seen as disempowering while another is seen as empowering? If it is, then isnt this a dual standard? If it isnt, shouldnt both types of generalizations be addressed as issues?

Is it popular opinion? By this I mean, if we agree with what is said, does it make it ok as opposed to when we dont agree with it?

Is it a combination? Or maybe something I am not even thinking of at the moment?

I thought I understood it. Now I am not so sure.

[Julie]

Originally Posted by Kobi

I can see why Jist might be a little confused by the reaction and how to interpret it. Julie's clarification did help shed some insight on this.

I am a little confused myself and trust someone can help me out.

The original title: "what every Femme should know", can be seen as a blanket(generalized) statement that might ruffle feathers.

"Being Femme means you honor and respect your Femme Sisters." and "Being a Femme's Femme is more important than any Butch on this planet." also appear to be blanket (generalized) statements yet they dont seem to be as much of an issue.

So, I am confused as to what exactly is it about blanket (generalizations)statements that is problematic?

Is it when the id of the OP may differ from from the id about whom the actual post is about that makes it problematic i.e. if a Femme posted it, it might not be quite as troublesome. But, a non Femme posting it makes it more indicative of <misogyny, stereotyping, whatever other terms work>.

Is it the actual content where one might be seen as disempowering while another is seen as empowering? If it is, then isnt this a dual standard? If it isnt, shouldnt both types of generalizations be addressed as issues?

Is it popular opinion? By this I mean, if we agree with what is said, does it make it ok as opposed to when we dont agree with it?

Is it a combination? Or maybe something I am not even thinking of at the moment?

I thought I understood it. Now I am not so sure.

Kobi,

I would like to answer your questions based on my perspective.

As we know, the title of any subject can hold as great a bearing as the actual content. Be it a post here on the planet, a magazine article or the title of a poem.

When I read, "What every Femme should know." My automatic response is to read what perhaps I am missing as a Femme. Hmmm, perhaps I have not learned something in my 50 years of life and my 33 years of being an identified Femme (though I have had some lapses for personal reasons).

I do know this from a personal standpoint. In my younger years, I thought I needed to be adored and worshiped by my partner to have any value. I had long hair, just so my partner could sweep the hair in front of my eyes and would see me as more feminine. When they spent money on me, I felt loved. I wanted to hear how lucky they were, because honestly... I did not have the value within myself to believe it on my own. I wanted to be told that I was beautiful and sexy, because I did not feel this inside. It gave me validation as a Femme.

When I cut off all my hair... I was challenged. Are you really a Femme? You and I have spoken on the phone Kobi. You have heard my voice Kobi and know that I have an extremely deep voice. Not a voice of a girl. I am often mistaken for a Sir. I have heard, are you really a Femme. Years ago, this would have shamed me. These are my issues... Not the issues of any other person that I am speaking about. When I lost (partial) my breast - I lost a sense of my femininity. I felt like I was not Feminine enough to wear the clothes that made me sexy at one time. What a Femme should know... For me. None of the above matters. If I can say out loud here, what other Femme's might be feeling, similar to what I have felt in the past. Then that is a good thing. I am a Femme. I have the knowledge about being a Femme that a butch just does not have. This is not to say, I have the knowledge what all Femme's should feel. Feelings are personal.

Regardless if the OP identifies as Male Identified, Heterosexual, Female or anything else which might fall in between, matters not to me. I responded based on the Title and then of course on the content.

I believe we are all entitled to our opinions. And in being entitled to our opinions, we are "all," welcome to post them. I do not believe anybody attacked the OP. Strong and beautiful self empowered Femme's came in here, and gave their own rendition.

If a Femme came in here and posted the same content. My response and reaction would be the same. I would have come in and posted it. If a Femme says to me. You know Julie, if you were just a little bit more domestic (a lot actually) and cooked and cleaned for your butch... You might be able to hold on to one long enough. True that! But the fact of the matter... I am not domestic and I certainly am not going to change the character of my being to keep a butch. Some might. And some garner pleasure for the acts of domestication. I do not. Regardless if it makes my Butch feel love and adored. I am not doing it. Anymore than I want my Butch to do something for me that does not garner them pleasure.

What every Butch should know!

What should every Butch know?
Simple - Do not tell me how I am supposed to feel.
Just as I would NEVER tell you how you are supposed to feel.

Honoring my sisters is huge for me. For me. I know they have my back. I know I have their backs. I know I would go to the depths of the world for some of these sisters of mine. I know they would do the same for me. I do hope Butches have similar relationships with their Butch Sisters/Brothers.

Julie

[JAGG]

Always turn your headlights on when its raining . Without fail .

Don't drive around on bald or underinflated tires. Its like playing russian roulette with a car.

Those oil air freshner plug ins get really hot if they run out of oil they can catch on fire pretty easily.

Have a chimney co. Clean your fireplace once a year. It costs about 70 dollars, a dirty chimney its one of the leading causes of house fires.

[Julie]

Originally Posted by JAGG

Always turn your headlights on when its raining . Without fail .

Don't drive around on bald or underinflated tires. Its like playing russian roulette with a car.

Those oil air freshner plug ins get really hot if they run out of oil they can catch on fire pretty easily.

Have a chimney co. Clean your fireplace once a year. It costs about 70 dollars, a dirty chimney its one of the leading causes of house fires.

Jagg,

Is this something Every Femme should know? Or Butches too?

Just curious.

Good information, I had no idea about oil air fresheners. Good thing I don't use them. I am horrible about unplugging things.

Julie

[Kobi]

Originally Posted by Julie

Kobi,

I would like to answer your questions based on my perspective.

As we know, the title of any subject can hold as great a bearing as the actual content. Be it a post here on the planet, a magazine article or the title of a poem.

When I read, "What every Femme should know." My automatic response is to read what perhaps I am missing as a Femme. Hmmm, perhaps I have not learned something in my 50 years of life and my 33 years of being an identified Femme (though I have had some lapses for personal reasons).

I do know this from a personal standpoint. In my younger years, I thought I needed to be adored and worshiped by my partner to have any value. I had long hair, just so my partner could sweet the hair in front of my eyes and would see me as more feminine. When they spent money on me, I felt loved. I wanted to hear how lucky they were, because honestly... I did not have the value within myself to believe it on my own. I wanted to be told that I was beautiful and sexy, because I did not feel this inside. It gave me validation as a Femme.

When I cut off all my hair... I was challenged. Are you really a Femme? You and I have spoken on the phone Kobi. You have heard my voice Kobi and know that I have an extremely deep voice. Not a voice of a girl. I am often mistaken for a Sir. I have heard, are you really a Femme. Years ago, this would have shamed me. These are my issues... Not the issues of any other person that I am speaking about. When I lost (partial) my breast - I lost a sense of my femininity. I felt like I was not Feminine enough to wear the clothes that made me sexy at one time. What a Femme should know... For me. None of the above matters. If I can say out loud here, what other Femme's might be feeling, similar to what I have felt in the past. Then that is a good thing. I am a Femme. I have the knowledge about being a Femme that a butch just does not have. This is not to say, I have the knowledge what all Femme's should feel. Feelings are personal.

Regardless if the OP identifies as Male Identified, Heterosexual, Female or anything else which might fall in between, matters not to me. I responded based on the Title and then of course on the content.

I believe we are all entitled to our opinions. And in being entitled to our opinions, we are "all," welcome to post them. I do not believe anybody attacked the OP. Strong and beautiful self empowered Femme's came in here, and gave their own rendition.

If a Femme came in here and posted the same content. My response and reaction would be the same. I would have come in and posted it. If a Femme says to me. You know Julie, if you were just a little bit more domestic (a lot actually) and cooked and cleaned for your butch... You might be able to hold on to one long enough. True that! But the fact of the matter... I am not domestic and I certainly am not going to change the character of my being to keep a butch. Some might. And some garner pleasure for the acts of domestication. I do not. Regardless if it makes my Butch feel love and adored. I am not doing it. Anymore than I want my Butch to do something for me that does not garner them pleasure.

What every Butch should know!

What should every Butch know?
Simple - Do not tell me how I am supposed to feel.
Just as I would NEVER tell you how you are supposed to feel.

Honoring my sisters is huge for me. For me. I know they have my back. I know I have their backs. I know I would go to the depths of the world for some of these sisters of mine. I know they would do the same for me. I do hope Butches have similar relationships with their Butch Sisters/Brothers.

Julie

Julie, thank you for answering. I think I understand what you are saying but I'm not sure it solves my confusion. Let me try it this way:

You wrote..."Being a Femme's Femme is more important than any Butch on this planet."

To me, this says, in order to be a Femme's Femme all Femmes are require to believe the sisterhood is more important than any Butch/partner/spouse. It sounds to be as a general statement alerting Femme's as to expected/required behavior of being a Femme's Femme. Is that different from just being a Femme?

Now this might not be what you meant. It might just be how I interpreted it.

Then you said:

"What should every Butch know?
Simple - Do not tell me how I am supposed to feel.
Just as I would NEVER tell you how you are supposed to feel."

And, now I am confused because the first statement, to me, indicated you were saying this is how a Femme was supposed to feel/believe/act in order to be a Femme's Femme.

And then you are saying we shouldnt ever tell someone else how to feel.

Are you clarifying what you meant to say initially i.e. this is just your take on it? Or are these 2 different standards? Or, have I now totally confused myself even more?

[apretty]

Originally Posted by Kobi

I am a little confused myself and trust someone can help me out.

It's patronizing, pandering and least of all, heteronormative--Which is all great if I consent and but none of us did.

The title could have read, 'Here's where I degrade and patronize Femme and perpetuate female-feeble mindedness' and that's cool, I wouldn't have reason to read that thread.

I hope that helps your confusion.

[Kobi]

Originally Posted by apretty

It's patronizing, pandering and least of all, heteronormative--Which is all great if I consent and but none of us did.

The title could have read, 'Here's where I degrade and patronize Femme and perpetuate female-feeble mindedness' and that's cool, I wouldn't have reason to read that thread.

I hope that helps your confusion.

LOL, I got that part. Kobi not that dense. Well sometimes. I understood why it might be insulting to some. I can also see it wasnt insulting to some. Perspective.

[Julie]

Originally Posted by Kobi

Julie, thank you for answering. I think I understand what you are saying but I'm not sure it solves my confusion. Let me try it this way:

You wrote..."Being a Femme's Femme is more important than any Butch on this planet."

To me, this says, in order to be a Femme's Femme all Femmes are require to believe the sisterhood is more important than any Butch/partner/spouse. It sounds to be as a general statement alerting Femme's as to expected/required behavior of being a Femme's Femme. Is that different from just being a Femme?

Now this might not be what you meant. It might just be how I interpreted it.

Then you said:

"What should every Butch know?
Simple - Do not tell me how I am supposed to feel.
Just as I would NEVER tell you how you are supposed to feel."

And, now I am confused because the first statement, to me, indicated you were saying this is how a Femme was supposed to feel/believe/act in order to be a Femme's Femme.

And then you are saying we shouldnt ever tell someone else how to feel.

Are you clarifying what you meant to say initially i.e. this is just your take on it? Or are these 2 different standards? Or, have I now totally confused myself even more?

Kobi,

I think you are reading more into it than I intended.

I do not place Femme's higher on my love list than I place my partner who is Butch. I love my Femme sisters differently. My relationship with my Femme Sisters is different than my relationship with my partner and it is different than my relationships with Butches or Trans Guys for that matter.

Let's use this as an example (Femme's Femme) and why my Femme Sisters and that Sisterhood is more important. I am not saying that I would be okay with a Femme Sister if they did something hurtful and unkind. I would call them out and perhaps I would question my friendship with them.

Two Femme (Femme A and Femme B) friends are at a party. Femme (A) has made it known she has this crush on this Butch. All of her friends know this and the two of them have been communicating and slowly developing. While Femme A and Femme B are not great friends, they are social at times and are friendly. Femme B gets a look at said Butch and slowly makes her move. Femme B has the knowledge that Femme A is developing this relationship. Femme B does not care. Femme B has decided at all costs to move in and make her play.

A Femme's Femme would not do this. A Femme's Femme would respect Femme A and step back.

Another Example.

Femme A knows that Femme B and Butch are having relationship issues. She consoles and acts as a confidant to Femme B. Femme B cries in the ear of Femme A. Femme B is heartbroken when the relationship ends and in the process has shared intimate details with Femme A.

Femme A makes her move. She then slides in and friends the Butch. They start developing a relationship and not only has Femme B lost her partner, she has been manipulated and hurt by her friend Femme A.

A Femme's Femme would never ever ever do this.

My reference to what every butch should know, was a tad sarcastic. Perhaps why it appeared as a double standard and confusing. I would never assume to know what anybody should know. I only have my experiences. The only thing that I would ever possibly say that a Butch should know - Show your Femme respect. But I would say this to a Femme as well. Just be respectful, but hopefully everybody already knows this.

That is not to say, people should not date who they want and find love. But this is a tough one. Where do you draw the line?

Example:
I have shared many intimate details about my relationship with some of my Femme Sisters. My partner knows I share these things. Intimate details which have helped me process aspects of my relationship. DJ and I break up. My dear dear Femme Sister decides it is okay to pursue my ex without talking to me. Talk to me FIRST! But for god sake, give me time to heal.

I have fixed up friends with two of my exes. I thought... WOW, these two would make a great match. Different than the above example. I had a friend tell me years later, she ran into an ex of mine. How would I feel if they pursued something. I thought it great. After an ex and I broke up, and the wounds were still painful for me. A Femme I know called me and asked if I would put in a good word for her. Put in a good word? Are you kidding me? Not a Femme's Femme.

Make more sense?

Julie

[Novelafemme]

Originally Posted by Julie

Kobi,

I would like to answer your questions based on my perspective.

As we know, the title of any subject can hold as great a bearing as the actual content. Be it a post here on the planet, a magazine article or the title of a poem.

When I read, "What every Femme should know." My automatic response is to read what perhaps I am missing as a Femme. Hmmm, perhaps I have not learned something in my 50 years of life and my 33 years of being an identified Femme (though I have had some lapses for personal reasons).

I do know this from a personal standpoint. In my younger years, I thought I needed to be adored and worshiped by my partner to have any value. I had long hair, just so my partner could sweep the hair in front of my eyes and would see me as more feminine. When they spent money on me, I felt loved. I wanted to hear how lucky they were, because honestly... I did not have the value within myself to believe it on my own. I wanted to be told that I was beautiful and sexy, because I did not feel this inside. It gave me validation as a Femme.

When I cut off all my hair... I was challenged. Are you really a Femme? You and I have spoken on the phone Kobi. You have heard my voice Kobi and know that I have an extremely deep voice. Not a voice of a girl. I am often mistaken for a Sir. I have heard, are you really a Femme. Years ago, this would have shamed me. These are my issues... Not the issues of any other person that I am speaking about. When I lost (partial) my breast - I lost a sense of my femininity. I felt like I was not Feminine enough to wear the clothes that made me sexy at one time. What a Femme should know... For me. None of the above matters. If I can say out loud here, what other Femme's might be feeling, similar to what I have felt in the past. Then that is a good thing. I am a Femme. I have the knowledge about being a Femme that a butch just does not have. This is not to say, I have the knowledge what all Femme's should feel. Feelings are personal.

Regardless if the OP identifies as Male Identified, Heterosexual, Female or anything else which might fall in between, matters not to me. I responded based on the Title and then of course on the content.

I believe we are all entitled to our opinions. And in being entitled to our opinions, we are "all," welcome to post them. I do not believe anybody attacked the OP. Strong and beautiful self empowered Femme's came in here, and gave their own rendition.

If a Femme came in here and posted the same content. My response and reaction would be the same. I would have come in and posted it. If a Femme says to me. You know Julie, if you were just a little bit more domestic (a lot actually) and cooked and cleaned for your butch... You might be able to hold on to one long enough. True that! But the fact of the matter... I am not domestic and I certainly am not going to change the character of my being to keep a butch. Some might. And some garner pleasure for the acts of domestication. I do not. Regardless if it makes my Butch feel love and adored. I am not doing it. Anymore than I want my Butch to do something for me that does not garner them pleasure.

What every Butch should know!

What should every Butch know?
Simple - Do not tell me how I am supposed to feel.
Just as I would NEVER tell you how you are supposed to feel.

Honoring my sisters is huge for me. For me. I know they have my back. I know I have their backs. I know I would go to the depths of the world for some of these sisters of mine. I know they would do the same for me. I do hope Butches have similar relationships with their Butch Sisters/Brothers.

Julie

This ENTIRE post. In its entirety. Gorgeous! Julie for President!!!