What every Femme should know...

[julieisafemme]

Hi Vonni. Welcome to the site. I wanted to address some of the things you are talking about here. I know it is hard to jump in and start posting. One thing you mention is diversity. You are right that there is a lot of diversity here and it is part of what makes it so fun to read and post! I learn things all the time here.

On the dash site someone started a fun thread about OCD. At least that is what they though they were doing. I have OCD and so of course I was interested and went in to read it. It was actually not about OCD. It was about joking about being extra clean or particular about certain things. I wasn't offended but did want to post that for some people these quirks were'nt funny and actually were debilitating, scary and difficult to deal with. The OP pretty much called me a buzzkill. I was bumming people out. They suggested I go read something else or stay out of the thread.

I wasn't trying to cause problems or make a fuss. I wanted to suggest that maybe the thread not be called OCD but something else. I wanted to let people know that it might not be funny to everyone.

I am telling this story to illustrate that posting things and having others disagree or challenge what you are saying is the diversity that makes this site and others like it so great. Sometimes people may not be nice about it. One person's "nice" might be someone else's mean. I think it is ok to address someone and let them know that you are uncomfortable with what they have said or even how they have said it. That seems to be how things work on forums.

As far as the OP and this thread it seems like people have posted how they feel as femmes and are showing the diversity here.

Originally Posted by Vonni

As one who is also new to this site, I can easily understand why JistMe felt somewhat attacked. I think that I would have felt that way too. This thread should have been a safe place to share well intended, simple and sweet words.

I do think however that this created a very valuable and worthy discussion (thank you JistME) that should continue elsewhere without the OP's intentions being the center of the discussion. I truly feel as if I have gotten quite a bit out of it and I would like to see it continue.

As someone who is finding her voice and her place on this site, I do have to say that I am a bit disappointed and somewhat intimidated by the very occasional rude comment I see made, not against JistMe, but towards others that are simply sharing their point of view or even just asking for clarification. I'm not talking about the humor, such as JAGG's lovely list of "DO NOT DO'S". I think that throwing in that bit of humor is awesome, appreciated and a necessary means to keep any conversation or debate lively. I'm talking about the personal attacks. Respect and honor each person's opinions and if you so vehemently disagree that you can't be at least kind, step away and go find something else to do. It's those kinds of attitudes that cause drama and dissuade others from wanting to get involved in these discussions and oftentimes cause them to miss out on the value of being a part of such a wonderful and diverse community.

[BullDog]

I never saw the OP's intentions ever being the center of discussion in this thread.

I also think who is considered rude is going to vary depending on whose perception it is.