To Write Love on Her Arms

[SuperFemme]

My teen who attempted suicide in May was so moved by this (she received a note from Snow on FB) that she got a big movement going at her H.S.

She is doing fabulous now and has that one amazing teacher who nurtures her as Peer/Leadership/Mentor teacher. With that class they spread the word and had a large amount of teens with love on their arms. She also spread the word around to the middle school children they mentor so the movement spilled over in large numbers to the Jr. High.

It's nice to have a kid who comes home laughing with a smile in her eyes and I am not quite ready to wash my arm.

[Jet]

This summer, I was picked up on a 10-13 intending to commit suicide. (It was my 4th attempt in 10 years.) There was intervention that night from a neighbor. I'm not manic or anything, (having taken the MMPI evaluation test recently) I was just done. My test did show patterns of depression, which I found can take many forms. See, I lost everything—things I can't recover because of a trauma. And in the process of renewing and rebuilding my life, I get depressed because it's daunting to recover and rebuild. The night I was picked up on a 10-13 was because I having to face so much loss.
So I get it, and I would be available to lend whatever support here at BFP.

[kassykit]

Honey i know you don't know me, but if you need to talk..... just message me. I am in the process of rebuilding right now..... it's a long hard road, with huge speedbumps sometimes

Originally Posted by Ol' Jet

This summer, I was picked up on a 10-13 intending to commit suicide. (It was my 4th attempt in 10 years.) There was intervention that night from a neighbor. I'm not manic or anything, (having taken the MMPI evaluation test recently) I was just done. My test did show patterns of depression, which I found can take many forms. See, I lost everything—things I can't recover because of a trauma. And in the process of renewing and rebuilding my life, I get depressed because it's daunting to recover and rebuild. The night I was picked up on a 10-13 was because I having to face so much loss.
So I get it, and I would be available to lend whatever support here at BFP.

[Jet]

Originally Posted by kassykit

it's a long hard road, with huge speedbumps sometimes

yes it is, thank you.

[kassykit]

-leaves you a huge box of choccies and tea!-

Originally Posted by Ol' Jet

yes it is, thank you.

[kassykit]

Perhaps just a place where we could get our feelings out without fear of the repercussions.

I live and grew up in a very strict household. Though many wouldn't see it that way.

I had very few written rules, but many many unspoken rules.

My depression is fed by i am not what was expected of me. I feel i have never been good enough, fast enough, pretty enough, or even much wanted.

It's one thing for me to vocalize what i know my issues are, its quite another for me to actually get over soemthing that's been a part of my life since i was very little

Maybe we could support each other, by at first.............. just listening.

Maybe set up a network where if osmeone IS in crisis, they could call. I don't know about anyone else, but the annonny lines, i've never been able to call those.

I've always ended up going to the ER, usually after doing something stupid. (like taking every pill in the house)

[Mister Bent]

Originally Posted by SuperFemme

My teen who attempted suicide in May was so moved by this (she received a note from Snow on FB) that she got a big movement going at her H.S.

She is doing fabulous now and has that one amazing teacher who nurtures her as Peer/Leadership/Mentor teacher. With that class they spread the word and had a large amount of teens with love on their arms. She also spread the word around to the middle school children they mentor so the movement spilled over in large numbers to the Jr. High.

It's nice to have a kid who comes home laughing with a smile in her eyes and I am not quite ready to wash my arm.

What a great story, Superflyfemme. Glad to hear she's made a turn around, and that she's even gone a step further and is using her experience to help others.

I'd be willing to bet most of us have a story of that one teacher, or coach, or older person who reached out in some way to keep us going through some hard stuff.

Originally Posted by Ol' Jet

This summer, I was picked up on a 10-13 intending to commit suicide. (It was my 4th attempt in 10 years.) There was intervention that night from a neighbor. I'm not manic or anything, (having taken the MMPI evaluation test recently) I was just done. My test did show patterns of depression, which I found can take many forms. See, I lost everything—things I can't recover because of a trauma. And in the process of renewing and rebuilding my life, I get depressed because it's daunting to recover and rebuild. The night I was picked up on a 10-13 was because I having to face so much loss.
So I get it, and I would be available to lend whatever support here at BFP.

Rebuilding is daunting. But it's like any big task, it helps to break it into smaller, more attainable goals (just like transitioning).

Do you think your neighbor helped in that you felt less alone with your pain? What made the difference for you that night?

Originally Posted by kassykit

<snip>Perhaps just a place where we could get our feelings out without fear of the repercussions.

I think this is fundamentally important.

I've seen people take the knowledge of another's depression - their use of an anti-depressant - and try to belittle them for it. I've seen it happen in queer space, on a butch/femme forum, as if it were somehow relevant.

Originally Posted by kassykit

<snip>
Maybe we could support each other, by at first.............. just listening.

Maybe set up a network where if osmeone IS in crisis, they could call. I don't know about anyone else, but the annonny lines, i've never been able to call those.

Listening is important. Sometimes it helps just to be able to say (or write) out loud those things that are making you feel desperate.

[Jet]

[QUOTE=Mister Bent;5484]
Do you think your neighbor helped in that you felt less alone with your pain? What made the difference for you that night?

No, I never felt less alone. (I was mad that my neighbor called the cops, though‚ which was actually a godsend in disguise) What made the difference is that I realized I didn't want to take my life as much as I wanted to be rid of the pain of facing my trauma which had been going one for about a year. Now I'm doing better than ever, but it was hell for a year.

[NCaliFemme]

Depression is so hard and has been affecting me quite a bit lately. I thought I was doing better and I realize that I'm not. That is so very hard to admit.

I've realized lately that I'm a "fluffer". To the outside world, I'm happy, I'm the one that you come to when things aren't going so well with you. When I'm asked how I'm doing, I fluff and say I'm fine. Things are great. I don't let people in. Why you ask? It's because I don't want to get hurt anymore.

I've had a lot happen this past year, I lost one of my friends to cancer, I was injured at my job and have not been able to return to work, my youngest child left home and I moved to a new community and am in a new relationship. I've been "fluffing", saying everything is fine, when it's not.

I, too, have lost everything from a traumatic experience. It's so hard to rebuild not try to be angry about where I am now. I am starting to rebuild once again and I'm thinking that maybe I didn't learn my lesson the first time; so I get to do it again and again until I get it right. It's hard, but I keep telling myself that I was never promised an easy road and that I have it so much better than so many others. So I will keep going step by step, day by day and try and keep a positive attitude.

Hopefully, I'll be getting into counseling again real soon. I'm trying to be more present and expressing how I really feel. Letting those around me know when things are hard so that I can lean on them. The problem is I think that I'm a burden on them. Silly me, they want to be there for me just like I love being there for my friends when they need a friend.

Thanks for listening.

Signed,

The Newest Member of the BFP To Write Love on Her Arms

[D-Money]

not everyone thinks this 'movement' is a good thing ... quoting a friend here:

"This movement still pisses me off. You write LOVE on your arm for the same reason you wear a WM3 shirt: it's trendy and you have no fucking clue what it's about!

Some of us walk around everyday with permanent reminders of depression, beit hesitation marks or that one time we cut too deep and ended up getting medical care before we bled out.

You want to support us? Awesome. Learn the symptoms and condition yourself to still be our friend when we cycle in and out of mood swings. A hug and a shoulder to cry on goes further than that magic marker on your arm. In the meantime wash that Sharpie off you look like a pretentious #*@+!"

[Jet]

Originally Posted by D-Money

not everyone thinks this 'movement' is a good thing ... quoting a friend here:

"This movement still pisses me off. You write LOVE on your arm for the same reason you wear a WM3 shirt: it's trendy and you have no fucking clue what it's about!

Some of us walk around everyday with permanent reminders of depression, beit hesitation marks or that one time we cut too deep and ended up getting medical care before we bled out.

You want to support us? Awesome. Learn the symptoms and condition yourself to still be our friend when we cycle in and out of mood swings. A hug and a shoulder to cry on goes further than that magic marker on your arm. In the meantime wash that Sharpie off you look like a pretentious #*@+!"

Ditto. great post. But I think the writing thing for depression was intended to be equivalent to ribbons for AIDS or breast cancer etc. *shrugs* I dunno I'm assuming. There's nothing much more comforting than a hug or kind words.

[owen4u1904]

Originally Posted by D-Money

not everyone thinks this 'movement' is a good thing ... quoting a friend here:

"This movement still pisses me off. You write LOVE on your arm for the same reason you wear a WM3 shirt: it's trendy and you have no fucking clue what it's about!

Some of us walk around everyday with permanent reminders of depression, beit hesitation marks or that one time we cut too deep and ended up getting medical care before we bled out.

You want to support us? Awesome. Learn the symptoms and condition yourself to still be our friend when we cycle in and out of mood swings. A hug and a shoulder to cry on goes further than that magic marker on your arm. In the meantime wash that Sharpie off you look like a pretentious #*@+!"

I have had two friends do the whole suicide thing. And I dont like it when people are afraid to talk about it. Because unfortunately it is a part of our lives. I have even taken a class for suicide prevention/intervention kinda thing. I am very big on raising awareness for depression because I have not come to that point in my life but I know when I get in a funk I dont like it. I do have trichotillomania, been doing it since I was 11 or so. And it makes me wonder if that is my way of "cutting" or making myself feel better. I am going to therapy again for the 3rd time, so hopefully 3rd time is a charm. Gonna attempt to get more family members in there this time. Gonna be started on paxil, since my therapist claims its ocd related, but my next meeting I wanna talk to her about it. Some people have said if you take paxil and get depressed it can make you even more depressed.

[Billy]

Originally Posted by D-Money

not everyone thinks this 'movement' is a good thing ... quoting a friend here:

"This movement still pisses me off. You write LOVE on your arm for the same reason you wear a WM3 shirt: it's trendy and you have no fucking clue what it's about!

Some of us walk around everyday with permanent reminders of depression, beit hesitation marks or that one time we cut too deep and ended up getting medical care before we bled out.

You want to support us? Awesome. Learn the symptoms and condition yourself to still be our friend when we cycle in and out of mood swings. A hug and a shoulder to cry on goes further than that magic marker on your arm. In the meantime wash that Sharpie off you look like a pretentious #*@+!"

You really think it's a trend ..And because you don't like it you think its stupid for others to show there emotion or support by putting this on their arm ..Amazing ..

[Jet]

Originally Posted by SuperFemme

My teen who attempted suicide in May was so moved by this (she received a note from Snow on FB) that she got a big movement going at her H.S.

She is doing fabulous now and has that one amazing teacher who nurtures her as Peer/Leadership/Mentor teacher. With that class they spread the word and had a large amount of teens with love on their arms. She also spread the word around to the middle school children they mentor so the movement spilled over in large numbers to the Jr. High.

It's nice to have a kid who comes home laughing with a smile in her eyes and I am not quite ready to wash my arm.

I have to tell you how glad i am that your daughter pulled through and then pursued the ripple affect in helping her peer groups. Thumbs up and a hug back from Georgia.