Important things I learned from past relationships

Soft*Silver · 03-07-2012, 08:42 PM

I learned that I made someone else more important than myself and I drank over it. Wont do that again...however, I am ever so grateful for that Truth.

I learned I am unwilling to move across the country on uncertainties.

I learned I am stronger than I ever thought..and ended up doing things I didnt think I could handle.

I learned that I can love so well, and yet have loved so wrong. As Blade once said, my picker was broken and I needed to fix it.

I learned that I will never settle for being second in a relationship ever again.

I learned that I wont do exes in a relationship. Theirs or mine.

I learned that lies are obvious as long as I am not in denial.

I learned that no one can make me happy with myself but some sure can make me miserable about themselves...

nycfem · 03-07-2012, 08:45 PM

I learned that having everything in common does not mean it's going to be a charmed relationship!

PaPa · 03-07-2012, 09:09 PM

I learned that if one person shuts down the chance of communicating and fixing the relationship, then it is gone.

bright_arrow · 03-07-2012, 10:19 PM

From past relationships, I have learned:

I am gay *regardless* of how my partner IDs - it does not alter me.
I am more open to trying new things than I thought I was.
Identifying as femme in no ways weakens me or makes me "less" than my partner.
I am strong.
I can enjoy be pampered without feeling like I should be doing something to deserve it.
Compromise and communication is important.

Most importantly: I am no one's bitch, and no one can walk on me or control me.

Quintease · 03-08-2012, 10:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by desd

From past relationships, I have learned:
I am gay *regardless* of how my partner IDs - it does not alter me.

Yes that! I've only had one lesbian question my lesbian label. It was one of those topsy turvy situations where she couldn't see my point of view and I couldn't see why she couldn't see.

It eventually came out that she didn't see herself as 100% gay despite being in a lesbian relationship, so couldn't wrap her head around why I still did, despite being with a man.

It's important to hold onto your own ID, which is something I'd learned in a previous (abusive) relationship.

BoDy*ShOt · 03-21-2012, 07:58 PM

that I had/have work to do on myself.. that I will not tolerate the things I used to.

aishah · 03-24-2012, 05:18 PM

sometimes people just aren't ready and no amount of me being ready, willing, able, and overcompensating can make it work. being madly in love with someone (even when they claim to feel the same way) is no reason to settle for a situation where they are incapable of giving anything emotionally. even though it sucks and it's really not anyone's fault that it sucks.

Rocket · 03-24-2012, 05:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PaPa

I learned that if one person shuts down the chance of communicating and fixing the relationship, then it is gone.

03-07-2012, 08:42 PM	#1
SoftSilver Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: rose cottage Posts: 5,594 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 8,948 Thanked 15,896 Times in 4,064 Posts Rep Power*: 21474858	I learned that I made someone else more important than myself and I drank over it. Wont do that again...however, I am ever so grateful for that Truth. I learned I am unwilling to move across the country on uncertainties. I learned I am stronger than I ever thought..and ended up doing things I didnt think I could handle. I learned that I can love so well, and yet have loved so wrong. As Blade once said, my picker was broken and I needed to fix it. I learned that I will never settle for being second in a relationship ever again. I learned that I wont do exes in a relationship. Theirs or mine. I learned that lies are obvious as long as I am not in denial. I learned that no one can make me happy with myself but some sure can make me miserable about themselves... __________________ Pole bachit, a lis chuye. The field sees, the forest hears

03-21-2012, 07:58 PM	#6
BoDyShOt Member How Do You Identify?: Queer. Femme. Preferred Pronoun?: girl ones Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Twin Cities Posts: 1,020 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,460 Thanked 2,096 Times in 532 Posts Rep Power*: 21474853	that I had/have work to do on myself.. that I will not tolerate the things I used to. __________________ ...not your average betty.

03-07-2012, 08:45 PM	#2
nycfem Moderator How Do You Identify?: femme sub Preferred Pronoun?: Baby Grrl Relationship Status: Attached Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: NYC Posts: 6,795 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 52,990 Thanked 21,401 Times in 5,101 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	I learned that having everything in common does not mean it's going to be a charmed relationship!

03-07-2012, 09:09 PM	#3
PaPa Senior Member How Do You Identify?: GQ Butch Daddy Relationship Status: A Very Protective BIG Daddy... Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Pennsylvania Posts: 2,657 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 7,597 Thanked 5,871 Times in 1,530 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	I learned that if one person shuts down the chance of communicating and fixing the relationship, then it is gone.

03-07-2012, 10:19 PM	#4
bright_arrow ☆ the stars are aligned ☆ How Do You Identify?: one queer mama Preferred Pronoun?: she/her Relationship Status: married to my Boo Daddy <3 Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: nor cal Posts: 2,910 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,644 Thanked 9,362 Times in 2,296 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	From past relationships, I have learned: I am gay regardless of how my partner IDs - it does not alter me. I am more open to trying new things than I thought I was. Identifying as femme in no ways weakens me or makes me "less" than my partner. I am strong. I can enjoy be pampered without feeling like I should be doing something to deserve it. Compromise and communication is important. Most importantly: I am no one's bitch, and no one can walk on me or control me.

03-24-2012, 05:18 PM	#7
aishah Member How Do You Identify?: queer stone femme shark baby girl Preferred Pronoun?: she, her, little one Relationship Status: dating myself. Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: dallas, tx Posts: 1,495 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 13,823 Thanked 6,439 Times in 1,288 Posts Rep Power: 21474851	sometimes people just aren't ready and no amount of me being ready, willing, able, and overcompensating can make it work. being madly in love with someone (even when they claim to feel the same way) is no reason to settle for a situation where they are incapable of giving anything emotionally. even though it sucks and it's really not anyone's fault that it sucks.