A straight girl enters the queer world...

[DaddysKitten]

Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow

She can't learn about him and what he's going through if he's going to deflect all the issues within him onto her because of her curiousity..

I wish both of them luck and you too sounds like you are trying to be a good friend to her..

Thank you very much, Snow.

Originally Posted by stepfordfemmeyyc

From my transguy-loving femme perspective, I don't think your friend is any less straight, nor should is it her duty to be informed--as long as she understands she is dating a man.

I would just like to clarify something, that has completely gotten out of context in this forum. I have never said anything about her identity. The title of this thread simply stated she was stepping out of the norm 'straight' relationship. She is still a straight girl as far as I am concerned, because title isn't important to me. I'm a straight woman, in love with a man. Genders, sexes, this and that means nothing to me. I am not discussing titles, because titles are way too vague in such a broad spectrum of alternatives. I also identify as a queer femme depending on the discussion, and how it is going. When I discuss my man, I'm a straight girl. When it is brought up, and people ask me how I can be 'straight' given the circumstances, I tell them that according to the straight populace, I would be a queer femme. But in our relationship, since he is a MAN to me, and I am his partner/woman/kitten, that I'm just a straight girl.

Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow

I'm still confused why the OP's friend is being presumed to be queer??

You and me both. I simply stated her issues with the full acceptance of all of this. ID really never came into it until someone else brought it up, unless, as stated above, they assume I was discussing title/ID, versus experience. But then again, other things have more easily been misconstrued. Perhaps I should go with solid statement, and not poetic and unique. 'Straight girl dates transman for first time'. I just like poetry better? *shrugs*


Anyhow, a lot of this has been blown out of proportion, perhaps some were silently offended, and for that I will apologize. But I remember my questions, curiosities, and lack of understanding, very clearly, and it was unnerving. I wanted to know about him, his struggles, the little things about his every day life, especially with him being pre-op and considered in the in-between category of man and woman.

There are a lot of concerns in a relationship of two very different understandings, and I feel, that being ignorant to those things, is lacking the eagerness or desire to truly know EVERY thing about your partner. How can you truly love someone without understanding the tiniest details of what makes them, who they are?

My questions, originally four pages ago, were based on the seeking of information to help her in her journey of learning. For the fact I did not want to be the be all, end all, to her understanding. I was reaching out to understanding, at least for the most part, individuals who might be able to offer some wisdom. For those of you who did offer such, you have my sincere appreciation.