Street Harrassment

[always2late]

I voted in the poll...but after doing so, I began to think about it and I realized that I read the word "harassment" and interpreted it to mean anti-gay harassment. I am not sure if that was the correct interpretation. If the question is have I ever been harassed because of my sexual orientation...then the answer is no. However, if the poll is covering other forms of harassment...then yes, I have been harassed since I was 11 years old. I developed very early and, at 11, wore the same bra size that I do now. When I think back on it...it was pretty damn disgusting, because I was OBVIOUSLY not an adult, except for one anatomical characteristic, and the attention I received, particularly from older biological men, was downright disturbing!

[Nat]

Really I meant any sort of street harrassment. Thanks for pointing out my lack of clarity!

[starryeyes]

If this is about harassment about being gay, then yes but only one incident I can remember. I was at a restaurant on a date, sitting at the bar just talking. I noticed a woman continually staring at me, but just ignored her. After we were done, my date left and I got in the car and started driving. I felt someone staring at me, and looked over and the same woman from the restaurant was yelling at me in her car. She kept level with me and looked so evil. This was the first time in my life that I felt hated. I will never forget that.

Other than that, stares and such but nothing ever comparable to that, thank goodness!

[MsTinkerbelly]

I also developed early, and after being followed home several times while riding my bike home from school, my Mom had to drive me every day.

Never for being a Lesbian though, even when I am visable with my Kasey.

[princessbelle]

I would say yes, most definitely.

Stares and glares when i'm with my partner, and the ugly hoot calls when i'm by myself. Well, more so when i was younger for sure. LOL.

It's funny really but i can handle it from bio men when i'm alone and they have no clue i'm gay...i just think to myself "asswipe" and walk on.

But, when i'm with my partner and i get that "omg you sick-o" glare, my feathers get ruffled and i want to poke their eyes out with a steel rod and rip their lower intestines out with my bare hands. Ok that may have been a little overboard but, yeah, pisses me off.

I guess my outwardly gay part is tougher than my "seen as straight" part. That probably made no sense.

Good thread and yes, i need more coffee.

[always2late]

Originally Posted by princessbelle

I would say yes, most definitely.

Stares and glares when i'm with my partner, and the ugly hoot calls when i'm by myself. Well, more so when i was younger for sure. LOL.

It's funny really but i can handle it from bio men when i'm alone and they have no clue i'm gay...i just think to myself "asswipe" and walk on.

But, when i'm with my partner and i get that "omg you sick-o" glare, my feathers get ruffled and i want to poke their eyes out with a steel rod and rip their lower intestines out with my bare hands. Ok that may have been a little overboard but, yeah, pisses me off.

I guess my outwardly gay part is tougher than my "seen as straight" part. That probably made no sense.

Good thread and yes, i need more coffee.

Even though I have never been harassed while with a partner, or for being gay, I can totally understand why it would make you more irate! I think that most women in our society have learned to deal with the random idiots who will hoot and holler and make suggestive comments as they walk down a street (I'm not saying its something we SHOULD have to deal with...just stating that most of us have dealt with it at one time or another). And it can become rather easy to shake it off...because when you think about it, although it may be disgusting and offensive, it is not really personal. It is harassment for what you look like, or for the simple fact of your biological sex. However (and this is my opinion only) I would see anti-gay harassment as something much different. To me it would not be an "attack" on how I look, but rather an attack of who I AM...and yeah, that would probably make me want to rip someone to shreds too.

[foxyshaman]

I too was an early bloomer. I am short and no mistaking my female gender. I also really wiggle when I walk and I would have given ANYTHING when I was younger to not have swinging hips. But then it developed into a great dirt dog swagger... so yeah it works now

I have been harassed when with a partner. And sometimes I even give back better than I get. Especially when I am behind said offenders in the grocery line up. Oh sometimes a captive ass is the best ass to harass.

The worst harrasment I have experienced however, is due to practicing shamanism. I will host drumming circles out doors, or teach classes in local parks. Loud mouth Christians who think they have the corner on spirituality can be quite nasty. Sometimes it takes all my Pisces Water to douse my Aries Flames.

[Quintease]

I get harassment a lot. From guys photographing my cleavage in the tube, to men asking me out on dates, to men saying 'cheer up love' or 'smile' or 'mmm, hot' or 'nice breasts'. It's all really offensive.

I've never noticed any special treatment while I was with a partner, except when I was with more feminine women, then men tend to stare..

Moving to London was an eye opener! Men just could not look at my face. They were completely fixated by my boobs. Since I've become a native however I find that less and less, probably because I cover up a lot more now.

The freakiest thing to ever happen, it was the end of winter and everyone was rugged up still. I was wearing an outfit that covered everything but my ankles. So my ankles were showing and that meant I got wolf-whistled all the way down the street!! Unbelievable!

Since I've been with my husband men are far more subtle. They try to catch my eye but that's about it. Once a man tried to dirty dance with me not realising my husband was there. The minute he knew he stopped and offered my husband an apology, the cheek!

[Point~Of~No~Return]

i believe everyone has or can be a target of street harassment for any reason

but that shows the offender is a true coward people feel mightier in groups with numbers opposed to those individually standing on their own standing up for themselves their own differences

it's hate it doesn't matter from who or what it's just hate

it can be anywhere it's even with in our own community

[princessbelle]

Originally Posted by always2late

Even though I have never been harassed while with a partner, or for being gay, I can totally understand why it would make you more irate! I think that most women in our society have learned to deal with the random idiots who will hoot and holler and make suggestive comments as they walk down a street (I'm not saying its something we SHOULD have to deal with...just stating that most of us have dealt with it at one time or another). And it can become rather easy to shake it off...because when you think about it, although it may be disgusting and offensive, it is not really personal. It is harassment for what you look like, or for the simple fact of your biological sex. However (and this is my opinion only) I would see anti-gay harassment as something much different. To me it would not be an "attack" on how I look, but rather an attack of who I AM..
.and yeah, that would probably make me want to rip someone to shreds too.

Yes yes this!!!!!!! Girl, we always think alike. I swear you were my sis in another life!!!

[Justin]

One of my experiences happened in 2002 during Prop 22. I had a no on Prop 22 sign in my truck window and I had pulled into a gas station to get gas. This guy was behind me and I guess I pulled into the pump stall he wanted and he got pissed. When I got out of my truck he started yelling at me and called me a f**king dyke and stated that I was going to hell. Mind you he is doing all of this with his teenage son in the car who look very embarrassed. I calmly looked at him and stated.....well if heaven is full of narrow minded jerks like you I would rather go to hell......and at that point I walked in the store and he just stood there not knowing what to say.

I am glad its getting better and better everyday but we still have a long way to go !!!

[EnderD_503]

A few times I've had some not so pleasant experiences in public places. Occasionally the questioning of "what are you" which then leads to really uncomfortable comments sometimes a mostly empty threat. While other times the person thinks they're being "friendly," "flattering," or "informative." The worst is people who start to say lewd shit because they think its "hot that I don't know what you are." Fuck off...

But those occasions just made me feel uncomfortable, versus the few occasions in recent years where I've had vans or cars follow me at night, whether they're trying to yell something at me or not. Somehow when you throw a vehicle into the mix of the "are you a boy/girl" taunts it somehow makes it freakier.

While I was a teenager I had similar shit happen as well with vans/cars at night. I had some really close calls as a teen, one night having to jump my friend's backyard fence and knock on the back door cause some asshole in a van decided to follow me. Dude was already up to the fence by the time he answered the door. Same night I ended up clocking another guy who decided to make some fucked up remarks while I was waiting for the bus home. It was a horrible night and freaked the hell out of me, and I'm not even sure why it happened. Then again, I also know some xy guys who have been followed by strange cars as teenagers for no reason, narrowly escaping because another car or person came along. I guess the reason I think of that is even as a teenager I was pretty masculine, so it makes it hard for me to tell what the intent was of people like the creepy van guy above, whether he perceived me as male, female, gay etc.

[mariamma]

StarryEyes,
I may be reading too much into what you wrote but I think she wanted your date. Yeah, she probably hated you and was really projecting that hate. And it might have something to do with your sexuality. But it might have to do with her sexuality as well.

Originally Posted by starryeyes

If this is about harassment about being gay, then yes but only one incident I can remember. I was at a restaurant on a date, sitting at the bar just talking. I noticed a woman continually staring at me, but just ignored her. After we were done, my date left and I got in the car and started driving. I felt someone staring at me, and looked over and the same woman from the restaurant was yelling at me in her car. She kept level with me and looked so evil. This was the first time in my life that I felt hated. I will never forget that.

Other than that, stares and such but nothing ever comparable to that, thank goodness!

[Arwen]

Originally Posted by always2late

I voted in the poll...but after doing so, I began to think about it and I realized that I read the word "harassment" and interpreted it to mean anti-gay harassment. I am not sure if that was the correct interpretation. If the question is have I ever been harassed because of my sexual orientation...then the answer is no. However, if the poll is covering other forms of harassment...then yes, I have been harassed since I was 11 years old. I developed very early and, at 11, wore the same bra size that I do now. When I think back on it...it was pretty damn disgusting, because I was OBVIOUSLY not an adult, except for one anatomical characteristic, and the attention I received, particularly from older biological men, was downright disturbing!

Me too. And I've experienced it recently as well. It's really annoying and completely inappropriate. I have to wonder at the home training of some people. Now I will fire back, "Did your mother raise you to speak that way to a woman?" Shuts most of them down.

[AtLast]

Yes. Sexual assault, two physical attacks and many incidences of verbal harrassment- based upon both being a woman and queer.