Butches and Body Image - Let's Talk About It

Turtle · 03-15-2012, 11:32 AM

...that over the years I have spoken with plenty of people who dramatically changed their personal presentation to the world (or in their home) at some time or another....and some have changed how they present many times.

For me, I so always felt like a boy when I was young, knew I wasn't a boy, wanted to be a boy, and did the best I could in my circumstance....I can hardly imagine what would have been different if I had gotten those tighty-whiteys and black high-tops ;-)

And as life went on and I made sense of things or rejected them I grew into the new a different me.

And I still am...

...this granbaby thing has kinda fucked with how male I feel. "Granpa" does not feel right, "granma" does...I am still working on making peace with that.

BUTCH? FEMME? I am definitely butch. I am definitely not femme. The rest of me is up for discussion...I like hearing ideas that are different and often better than mine - for me, it is not a crime to change my mind about something.

Some folks have told me they would like to post here and that they don't want to get jumped on. I sure wish people would feel like they can express their thoughts constructively here without fear of criticism.

Okiebug61 · 03-15-2012, 03:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Turtle

... Some folks have told me they would like to post here and that they don't want to get jumped on. I sure wish people would feel like they can express their thoughts constructively here without fear of criticism.

I think whomever is wanting to post should do so. Each of our thoughts and ideas bring something different to the table. We will never all agree but dang it no one should feel threatened because of bully attitudes. So tell your folks to come over and participate in the conversation. I for one want to hear what they have to say.

ButchEire · 03-15-2012, 04:20 PM

My reaction to anyone who questions my presence in any restroom is to look them in the eye and say "excuse me?" My not-so-hidden meaning is to infer "Really? You have all the time in the world to worry about who is in the restroom?" After many years of ME getting embarrassed when I was younger, I decided that if someone indeed DID walk into the wrong restroom, who gives a f**k? Restrooms are there to get your business done and get out, not to socialize. Clearly also, it's UNLIKELY that someone would venture into the "wrong" restroom, so people are getting caught up in something that isn't probable.

Parker · 03-15-2012, 04:47 PM

Yeah, I dont give a fuck about people staring at me in the bathrooms anymore either. Hell, I have had women physically try to keep me out of the bathroom, thinking I was a man (I was about to offer to show her my tits when she realized her mistake and let me pass). Usually, I just ignore everyone, do my thing, and get out; but if they want to stare at me, I'll stare right back - after a pretty obvious look down at my rather large breasts for effect.

I am not male ID'd or trans &/or trying to pass, so I wouldnt use the men's bathroom unless it was the only one available &/or it was some sort of a bathroom emergency .... I dont want to spend time in their stinky, nasty bathrooms unless I absolutely have to!

Oh, and speaking of family bathrooms, the VA here has women, men, and unisex bathrooms all over the place - I think in large places and newly built places it might start becoming the "norm."

Queerasfck · 03-15-2012, 05:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Parker

I am not male ID'd or trans &/or trying to pass, so I wouldnt use the men's bathroom unless it was the only one available &/or it was some sort of a bathroom emergency .... I dont want to spend time in their stinky, nasty bathrooms unless I absolutely have to!

I try to avoid the use of any public restroom whenever possible. I have to say I do believe women's restrooms can be just as nasty and unsanitary as men's restrooms.

Parker · 03-15-2012, 05:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Queerasfck

I try to avoid the use of any public restroom whenever possible. I have to say I do believe women's restrooms can be just as nasty and unsanitary as men's restrooms.

True - especially when they make a mess on the seat.

But to me, men's are just nastier - maybe bc they miss the bowl a lot & their mess ends up on the floor - not sure, just how it feels to me. Maybe I've just been around some nasty mens.

ButchEire · 03-15-2012, 05:44 PM

Always been the opposite in my experience. Women's bathrooms are much dirtier than men's. What's weird to me is that I get how men "miss" the toilet but can't figure out how women can't hit the two pointer,lol.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Parker

True - especially when they make a mess on the seat.

But to me, men's are just nastier - maybe bc they miss the bowl a lot & their mess ends up on the floor - not sure, just how it feels to me. Maybe I've just been around some nasty mens.

Dude · 03-15-2012, 06:18 PM

I have encountered many a scared woman confused by me.
Security has been called ,etc.

The bottom line is they are reacting from a fear place and really
who can blame them for that.
Yes, they might become rude with their non thought out reactions
when encountering some of us but we get to think about our reactions
to them. They are women in a place that most times feels safe to them.

Never has my reaction or response been to show them what I have under my shirt.

I guess reading that response over and over through the years bugs
the shit out of me.
I get the hurt and the anger of being questioned but I dont get the threat of
flashing tits or anything else as a well thought out response.
They are surprised by us but we get to think about it.
Cut them some fucking slack already.

speaking as someone who's done some janitorial
work in the past
all people have the ability to be equally disgusting.
and men are not the only sex who enjoy some reading material either

Gemme · 03-15-2012, 07:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Parker

LOL

Probably from hovering over the bowl so as to avoid touching the seat and catching imaginary diseases.

Not so imaginary things are able to be caught, however. I totally get the hovering, but really wish they'd just use the damn toilet seat cover or, if there's not one, put tissue on the seat.

All bathrooms that don't have an attendant are icky.

~ocean · 03-15-2012, 04:51 PM

Us femmes have it soo easy , ((((((( hugs all of u butchs )))))))

your bodys r measured by a tailor (tailorette ) and ur mind is measured by ur soul : the soul is endless..

clay · 03-15-2012, 05:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ~ocean

Us femmes have it soo easy , ((((((( hugs all of u butchs )))))))

your bodys r measured by a tailor (tailorette ) and ur mind is measured by ur soul : the soul is endless..

(((((((((((ocean)))))))))))))
Thanks for the hug...and your words....

apretty · 03-15-2012, 05:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ~ocean

Us femmes have it soo easy , ((((((( hugs all of u butchs )))))))

it's not easy being femme, it's different but not easy.

Okiebug61 · 03-15-2012, 06:15 PM

The 2003 International Building Code requires that all new construction and substantial renovation for public restrooms include a family, or unisex, bathroom. Most new, large venues such as malls, airports, and sports arenas, now include at least one type unisex bathroom in addition to men's and women's public restrooms. But not all states have adopted the codes. Planning construction or renovation? Check your local public restroom regulations.

sarahwho · 03-28-2012, 09:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Okiebug61

The 2003 International Building Code requires that all new construction and substantial renovation for public restrooms include a family, or unisex, bathroom. Most new, large venues such as malls, airports, and sports arenas, now include at least one type unisex bathroom in addition to men's and women's public restrooms. But not all states have adopted the codes. Planning construction or renovation? Check your local public restroom regulations.

You boi's can come into ANY bathroom I'm in! No really!

MrSunshine · 03-28-2012, 10:06 AM

I have found that having had an arm cut off was less painful than using a public restroom.
It's only pain, you get use to it.

03-15-2012, 11:32 AM	#1
Turtle Senior Member How Do You Identify?: A mixity Preferred Pronoun?: whatever Relationship Status: chillin Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: in a really really cute little place Posts: 2,144 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,442 Thanked 4,529 Times in 1,220 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Would you believe... ...that over the years I have spoken with plenty of people who dramatically changed their personal presentation to the world (or in their home) at some time or another....and some have changed how they present many times. For me, I so always felt like a boy when I was young, knew I wasn't a boy, wanted to be a boy, and did the best I could in my circumstance....I can hardly imagine what would have been different if I had gotten those tighty-whiteys and black high-tops ;-) And as life went on and I made sense of things or rejected them I grew into the new a different me. And I still am... ...this granbaby thing has kinda fucked with how male I feel. "Granpa" does not feel right, "granma" does...I am still working on making peace with that. BUTCH? FEMME? I am definitely butch. I am definitely not femme. The rest of me is up for discussion...I like hearing ideas that are different and often better than mine - for me, it is not a crime to change my mind about something. Some folks have told me they would like to post here and that they don't want to get jumped on. I sure wish people would feel like they can express their thoughts constructively here without fear of criticism.

03-15-2012, 06:15 PM	#13
Okiebug61 Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Light Butch Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Hitched to Red Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 1,528 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,261 Thanked 5,377 Times in 1,245 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	The 2003 International Building Code requires that all new construction and substantial renovation for public restrooms include a family, or unisex, bathroom. Most new, large venues such as malls, airports, and sports arenas, now include at least one type unisex bathroom in addition to men's and women's public restrooms. But not all states have adopted the codes. Planning construction or renovation? Check your local public restroom regulations. __________________ "Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawake." ~ Anatole France

03-15-2012, 04:20 PM	#3
ButchEire Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Permanent ban 3/17/2013 - TROLL Relationship Status: Partner to my best friend Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: For now, Buffalo Posts: 701 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,618 Thanked 1,874 Times in 485 Posts Rep Power: 0	My reaction to anyone who questions my presence in any restroom is to look them in the eye and say "excuse me?" My not-so-hidden meaning is to infer "Really? You have all the time in the world to worry about who is in the restroom?" After many years of ME getting embarrassed when I was younger, I decided that if someone indeed DID walk into the wrong restroom, who gives a f**k? Restrooms are there to get your business done and get out, not to socialize. Clearly also, it's UNLIKELY that someone would venture into the "wrong" restroom, so people are getting caught up in something that isn't probable.

03-15-2012, 04:47 PM	#4
Parker Timed Out - Permanent How Do You Identify?: Butch. Lesbian. Dyke. Woman. Female. Preferred Pronoun?: She, of course! Relationship Status: Content Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Small Town Life Posts: 2,880 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 7,858 Thanked 11,727 Times in 2,429 Posts Rep Power: 0	Yeah, I dont give a fuck about people staring at me in the bathrooms anymore either. Hell, I have had women physically try to keep me out of the bathroom, thinking I was a man (I was about to offer to show her my tits when she realized her mistake and let me pass). Usually, I just ignore everyone, do my thing, and get out; but if they want to stare at me, I'll stare right back - after a pretty obvious look down at my rather large breasts for effect. I am not male ID'd or trans &/or trying to pass, so I wouldnt use the men's bathroom unless it was the only one available &/or it was some sort of a bathroom emergency .... I dont want to spend time in their stinky, nasty bathrooms unless I absolutely have to! Oh, and speaking of family bathrooms, the VA here has women, men, and unisex bathrooms all over the place - I think in large places and newly built places it might start becoming the "norm."

03-15-2012, 06:18 PM	#8
Dude Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Relationship Status: Perusing Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: exit 5 with an exit 21 goal Posts: 1,725 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 15,351 Thanked 10,605 Times in 1,477 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	I have encountered many a scared woman confused by me. Security has been called ,etc. The bottom line is they are reacting from a fear place and really who can blame them for that. Yes, they might become rude with their non thought out reactions when encountering some of us but we get to think about our reactions to them. They are women in a place that most times feels safe to them. Never has my reaction or response been to show them what I have under my shirt. I guess reading that response over and over through the years bugs the shit out of me. I get the hurt and the anger of being questioned but I dont get the threat of flashing tits or anything else as a well thought out response. They are surprised by us but we get to think about it. Cut them some fucking slack already. speaking as someone who's done some janitorial work in the past all people have the ability to be equally disgusting. and men are not the only sex who enjoy some reading material either

03-15-2012, 04:51 PM	#10
~ocean Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: femme blows a kiss off my finger tips * Preferred Pronoun?: ~ hey girl ~ Relationship Status: ~ single & content ~ Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Massachusetts ~coastal Posts: 7,905 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 22,958 Thanked 16,040 Times in 4,727 Posts Rep Power: 21474859	Us femmes have it soo easy , ((((((( hugs all of u butchs ))))))) your bodys r measured by a tailor (tailorette ) and ur mind is measured by ur soul : the soul is endless..

03-28-2012, 10:06 AM	#15
MrSunshine Senior Member How Do You Identify?: The Gardner Preferred Pronoun?: Ummmm Relationship Status: Nah Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Sunshine State, State of Sunshine Posts: 2,616 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,577 Thanked 3,891 Times in 1,155 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	I have found that having had an arm cut off was less painful than using a public restroom. It's only pain, you get use to it.