Butches and Body Image - Let's Talk About It

DapperButch · 03-15-2012, 08:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Parker

Probably from hovering over the bowl so as to avoid touching the seat and catching imaginary diseases.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gemme

Not so imaginary things are able to be caught, however. I totally get the hovering, but really wish they'd just use the damn toilet seat cover or, if there's not one, put tissue on the seat.

"If you sprinkle when you tingle, please be neat and wipe the seat".

- Sign humorously posted in Dapper's grandmother's bathroom.

DapperButch · 03-16-2012, 03:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DapperButch

"If you sprinkle when you tingle, please be neat and wipe the seat".

- Sign humorously posted in Dapper's grandmother's bathroom.

Ooops! I meant tinkle! (thanks Ezee).

Jess · 03-21-2012, 10:28 AM

I always wonder why every conversation regarding being butch and self image goes to the toilet.

I think at least for me, because it is that one place out in the world that constantly reminds me of just how "different" I am from "most" women. My hair is different.. my clothes are different, my demeanor is definitely different and it is a rarity that it is not pointed out to me when I step into a multi-stalled bathroom.

My struggles with body image started so early on that I can't even pinpoint when or how it began. My mom tells me of my crying myself to sleep when I was three because I couldn't pee out of my belly button. Apparently I saw my dad standing up to pee and thought that must be how you do it.

I have body dysphoria/ gender dysphoria in that I truly have a disconnect in "loving" the package I came in. It is a hard thing to describe as I don't necessarily want to change genders, I just don't deal well with the "norms" society has placed on mine. I am a masculine entity, no doubt and being in a visually female shell has been a very interesting thing to say the least.

I struggle with my size at times. I have a small frame and for many being small is equated to being weak. Many only view larger butches as "real" butches. For some , yes, size does matter.. LOL. It's hard to bulk up as the female body distributes weight differently and requires much more focused exercise to put mass in the "right" areas. Well, frankly, I am getting older and unless a miracle happens, that just isn't gonna work. I am by no means a weak person and I know this clearly. However, when it comes down to "body image" , I can allow myself to buy into the BS a little too often.

I am learning not to compare myself in the negative. I am learning to look at other butches clearly and when I do compare it is about internal issues. It is about whether or not they exemplify traits I respect or not. This is how I am seeing role models or folks I want to avoid. I tend to keep people at arms length and am trying to allow a few more in. Slowly and very selectively. I am reading people on different levels than I have in the past and am able to see beyond whatever facades or armor we put up and that is how I am seeing myself more clearly. I am not ready to put down my own shields.. and honestly, I know that only a handful of people will ever truly "know" me or my struggles. my insecurities.. or my true strengths.

I am not sure how many other butches feel similar, but I know for me it can be a painfully lonely path at times. It can also be an incredible journey living this life in the body we were given and helping other folks see beyond it. It is fraught with obstacles almost daily. I just keep moving through them. I hope everyone else does too. I know we have lost so many butch women to depression, angst, suicide, isolation and it breaks my heart. There are times when the world gets really ugly and all we can do is look to one another for the encouragement to keep on keeping on. I hope to be that encouragement.

Thanks for the topic.

Jett · 03-21-2012, 11:05 AM

I am highly "butch" (adjective) on the inside, always have been. I am also highly woman on the inside... and the flow of the two feels seamless to me dawn to dusk. On the outside I have my happy places, which may include a suit or tux- in addition to my long hair and makeup. I have a wicked hourglass figure that I hide in no way... it's just the way it is, I like it. I don't do cutesy, frilly or dresses though, guess it's just not my thing.

None of it feels like drag for me, or off limits... I just do what feels right. I spent most of my life under the pressure of others expectations, including my own... and I have to say now is screw it all cause I'm free, and it feels like friggen Nirvana...

No matter what you do... somebody's not going to be happy with it... so you might as well make yourself happy and well then after that... who the hell cares?

tara_kerrie · 03-21-2012, 01:31 PM

This is a great thread for me. I am currently looking for myself and my place in this world. I thought that I had found myself but I was wrong.
I think of myself as a "butch" but there are many "doubts" right now.
I have enjoyed reading all of your thoughts on this matter and look forward to reading more.

03-21-2012, 11:05 AM	#4
Jett Member How Do You Identify?: Hardcore bullheaded grown-ass Tomboy Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: she loves my shaggy hair Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: The backroom of a night cafe plotting world domination Posts: 1,028 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,054 Thanked 3,299 Times in 568 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	I am highly "butch" (adjective) on the inside, always have been. I am also highly woman on the inside... and the flow of the two feels seamless to me dawn to dusk. On the outside I have my happy places, which may include a suit or tux- in addition to my long hair and makeup. I have a wicked hourglass figure that I hide in no way... it's just the way it is, I like it. I don't do cutesy, frilly or dresses though, guess it's just not my thing. None of it feels like drag for me, or off limits... I just do what feels right. I spent most of my life under the pressure of others expectations, including my own... and I have to say now is screw it all cause I'm free, and it feels like friggen Nirvana... No matter what you do... somebody's not going to be happy with it... so you might as well make yourself happy and well then after that... who the hell cares? __________________ .......... In the depth of winter I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer. ~Albert Camus

03-21-2012, 10:28 AM	#3
Jess Timed Out - Permanent How Do You Identify?: decidedly indifferent Preferred Pronoun?: other Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Patrick Springs, VA Posts: 2,812 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,247 Thanked 5,700 Times in 1,682 Posts Rep Power: 0	I always wonder why every conversation regarding being butch and self image goes to the toilet. I think at least for me, because it is that one place out in the world that constantly reminds me of just how "different" I am from "most" women. My hair is different.. my clothes are different, my demeanor is definitely different and it is a rarity that it is not pointed out to me when I step into a multi-stalled bathroom. My struggles with body image started so early on that I can't even pinpoint when or how it began. My mom tells me of my crying myself to sleep when I was three because I couldn't pee out of my belly button. Apparently I saw my dad standing up to pee and thought that must be how you do it. I have body dysphoria/ gender dysphoria in that I truly have a disconnect in "loving" the package I came in. It is a hard thing to describe as I don't necessarily want to change genders, I just don't deal well with the "norms" society has placed on mine. I am a masculine entity, no doubt and being in a visually female shell has been a very interesting thing to say the least. I struggle with my size at times. I have a small frame and for many being small is equated to being weak. Many only view larger butches as "real" butches. For some , yes, size does matter.. LOL. It's hard to bulk up as the female body distributes weight differently and requires much more focused exercise to put mass in the "right" areas. Well, frankly, I am getting older and unless a miracle happens, that just isn't gonna work. I am by no means a weak person and I know this clearly. However, when it comes down to "body image" , I can allow myself to buy into the BS a little too often. I am learning not to compare myself in the negative. I am learning to look at other butches clearly and when I do compare it is about internal issues. It is about whether or not they exemplify traits I respect or not. This is how I am seeing role models or folks I want to avoid. I tend to keep people at arms length and am trying to allow a few more in. Slowly and very selectively. I am reading people on different levels than I have in the past and am able to see beyond whatever facades or armor we put up and that is how I am seeing myself more clearly. I am not ready to put down my own shields.. and honestly, I know that only a handful of people will ever truly "know" me or my struggles. my insecurities.. or my true strengths. I am not sure how many other butches feel similar, but I know for me it can be a painfully lonely path at times. It can also be an incredible journey living this life in the body we were given and helping other folks see beyond it. It is fraught with obstacles almost daily. I just keep moving through them. I hope everyone else does too. I know we have lost so many butch women to depression, angst, suicide, isolation and it breaks my heart. There are times when the world gets really ugly and all we can do is look to one another for the encouragement to keep on keeping on. I hope to be that encouragement. Thanks for the topic.

03-21-2012, 01:31 PM	#5
tara_kerrie Member How Do You Identify?: Whatever you want to call us Preferred Pronoun?: Her, she, Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: Wherever these 18 wheels take us Posts: 583 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 484 Thanked 1,366 Times in 441 Posts Rep Power: 17763585	This is a great thread for me. I am currently looking for myself and my place in this world. I thought that I had found myself but I was wrong. I think of myself as a "butch" but there are many "doubts" right now. I have enjoyed reading all of your thoughts on this matter and look forward to reading more.