"This is my truth"

[Medusa]

I liked what you said, IslandScout!

I also agree with you that intention is the root of expression.

I think that when we post here or interact with another person that we generally know our own intention. Maybe we intend to just relay an experience or maybe it's about finding common ground. I'd like to think we try to get our intention across by being really thoughtful about the words we use and how we frame our position.

There are, of course, people who say or do things who are not in touch with their intentions. They might say "I didn't intend for that to feel ugly to you" and truly mean that but it might be a scenario when they said something like "That skirt you're wearing is the ugliest thing I have ever seen".
While they didn't intend for that to feel ugly (maybe they thought they were being helpful), I might wonder if they are really out of touch with how their words affect other people. Something about insensitivity maybe?

And perhaps this might fit in the "Duplicity" thread. If a person says or does something that feels really ugly, and perhaps it's something really overtly ugly, but the person is so out of touch with how what they do affects others, is it duplicity? Or are they just an insensitive, self-centered asshole?

[Kobi]

Originally Posted by Medusa

I liked what you said, IslandScout!

I also agree with you that intention is the root of expression.

I think that when we post here or interact with another person that we generally know our own intention. Maybe we intend to just relay an experience or maybe it's about finding common ground. I'd like to think we try to get our intention across by being really thoughtful about the words we use and how we frame our position.

There are, of course, people who say or do things who are not in touch with their intentions. They might say "I didn't intend for that to feel ugly to you" and truly mean that but it might be a scenario when they said something like "That skirt you're wearing is the ugliest thing I have ever seen".
While they didn't intend for that to feel ugly (maybe they thought they were being helpful), I might wonder if they are really out of touch with how their words affect other people. Something about insensitivity maybe?

And perhaps this might fit in the "Duplicity" thread. If a person says or does something that feels really ugly, and perhaps it's something really overtly ugly, but the person is so out of touch with how what they do affects others, is it duplicity? Or are they just an insensitive, self-centered asshole?

I might have to rethink this some but to me, duplicity is a deliberate attempt to be deceitful.

People, including ourselves, can say many things that may make others feel badly. We might say it nicely and sweetly and only nick their ego a bit. Or we might say it with brutal honesty which may feel more like being hit with a 2x4.

Communication is a 2 way street. It is not only what and how something was said, it is also how it was received. And there can be complicated aspects playing into both things.

For example, if I am feeling rushed for time or have a lot on my mind, I tend to be more direct. If I am in a relaxed mood, I can be more gentle and cautious with the words I use. If I dont recognize someones mood i.e. if they are feeling insecure or something, a direct answer is likely to lead to a bad place. If they are just unsure, a direct answer might be reassuring. Tricky stuff.

Using your skirt example, it would feel like duplicity to me if I didnt think the skirt was flattering to you and felt forced to say wow that is lovely. That, to me, would be deceitful.

That make sense?

Like Tick, I am quite used to being told I am too literal. Seems to happen when people use words or phrases in ways that are unfamiliar to me. Thus, I am confused as to what they really mean.

[girl_dee]

Originally Posted by Medusa

I think that when we post here or interact with another person that we generally know our own intention. Maybe we intend to just relay an experience or maybe it's about finding common ground. I'd like to think we try to get our intention across by being really thoughtful about the words we use and how we frame our position.

There are, of course, people who say or do things who are not in touch with their intentions. They might say "I didn't intend for that to feel ugly to you" and truly mean that but it might be a scenario when they said something like "That skirt you're wearing is the ugliest thing I have ever seen".
While they didn't intend for that to feel ugly (maybe they thought they were being helpful), I might wonder if they are really out of touch with how their words affect other people. Something about insensitivity maybe?

And perhaps this might fit in the "Duplicity" thread. If a person says or does something that feels really ugly, and perhaps it's something really overtly ugly, but the person is so out of touch with how what they do affects others, is it duplicity? Or are they just an insensitive, self-centered asshole?

This is truly food for thought. Are we out of touch with how what we do affects others??? ....

We live in a world where we are writing words 99% more than speaking them.(Texting primarily ) If we do speak them, it's not in person, its via a phone call. We cannot see how the person is taking what we are saying. DO we even care anymore?

The written word carries some vibration but there is no tone to match. Maybe our intent is not to hurt them, but does one care how the other person receives it? i would hope so, but i fear we are becoming completely insensitive. Do we forget there is someone else on the other end of the screen?

Sometimes our words carry a huge weight with them, a vibration, and it can really sting to the receiver, no matter what the intention. Is it just their problem? Do we get to hit send and be done? It feels so callous.

Maybe someone is having a bad day, but is the receiver aware? How could they be? If i have normal interactions with someone, then i become short with them because of something going on in my life, i at least let them know that i am dealing with something, so they aren't left to feel they have done something to offend me. i hope i do anyway, maybe i don't.

i am learning to get a thicker skin and try not to take things personally, but its tough. i wish i didn't have to do this. Maybe i am always thinking its about me, maybe i am too sensitive. Whatever the case, it's just hard.

Is it too much to ask that people put some thought into it before they hit send?

i am not a fan of digital communication in today's world.

That's my truth

[Femmewench]

Originally Posted by girl_dee

This is truly food for thought. Are we out of touch with how what we do affects others??? ....

We live in a world where we are writing words 99% more than speaking them.(Texting primarily ) If we do speak them, it's not in person, its via a phone call. We cannot see how the person is taking what we are saying. DO we even care anymore?

The written word carries some vibration but there is no tone to match. Maybe our intent is not to hurt them, but does one care how the other person receives it? i would hope so, but i fear we are becoming completely insensitive. Do we forget there is someone else on the other end of the screen?

Sometimes our words carry a huge weight with them, a vibration, and it can really sting to the receiver, no matter what the intention. Is it just their problem? Do we get to hit send and be done? It feels so callous.

Maybe someone is having a bad day, but is the receiver aware? How could they be? If i have normal interactions with someone, then i become short with them because of something going on in my life, i at least let them know that i am dealing with something, so they aren't left to feel they have done something to offend me. i hope i do anyway, maybe i don't.

i am learning to get a thicker skin and try not to take things personally, but its tough. i wish i didn't have to do this. Maybe i am always thinking its about me, maybe i am too sensitive. Whatever the case, it's just hard.

Is it too much to ask that people put some thought into it before they hit send?

i am not a fan of digital communication in today's world.

That's my truth

On the whole my truth thing - isn't there your side, my side and the truth? I don't use the phrase mainly because it holds no meaning for me. "I believe" suffices. I wonder if it's simply a variation on "xyz holds true for me?" I don't attach a deeper meaning to it than if someone used "I believe." And when all else fails, I go to the dictionary which to me indicates it's unnecessary as "believe" is defined as: "accept as true...feel sure of the truth of'"

Communication - that should be its own thread. It's hard enough sometimes to explain face to face where you have all the cues you can receive and not have some miscommunication going on. I can read a T/F question five times and come up with six answers. I'm also a literal person; I don't get poetry for that very reason. If you want me to understand something, use clear language.

What I think is clear language and what you think is clear language may very. And thus miscommunication.

[JDeere]

My truth.....

I truly want to stay out of touch with the world and stay in my own bubble, however I do not have that luxury, at all!